Solitude
by Kolie
Summary: The preparations were in order. He was set to be married to her, while I'm forced to smile and simply let the one I love more than life itself be taken away from me. Rated for language, amongst other things. SoraxKairi, SoraxRiku, Sorax?
1. Preparations

I love being inspired my music to write a fan fic, especially this one in particular. I read the lyrics for "Solitude" by Evanescence four or so years ago and loved them. When I started falling in love with Riku's character in KH and then went back and read the lyrics, I was like "Ohmigod! I have to use this somehow!"… And then I heard the song for the first time and it made the words even better, leading me to where I am now…writing this insanely bittersweet fan fic that will probably make Kairi-haters squeal with joy. I, however, am NOT a Kairi-hater. I really like Kairi's character…the fact of the matter is that the Riku/Sora pairing comes before the Sora/Kairi pairing in my mind, so yeah…

Anywho…Enjoy!!…

WARNINGS: rated for language…Riku angst…blind Sora…good times, right?…

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Kingdom Hearts_ or any of its characters…

**Part One:  
Preparations…**

The preparations were in order. _He _was set to be married to _her_. I laughed. Now who didn't see that coming? Sora and Kairi—the most envied couple in the land—were finally going to be married after only two years of dating.

And where was I in all of this? Well, poor little Riku was Sora's best man, damned to stand in front of a crowd of happy people, only to feign my own happiness and try to hide my pain and total objection to the marriage that was quickly growing closer.

I don't know why I did it. Perhaps I thought it was something that I owed him. He deserved happiness and that was exactly the opposite of what he would get with me. No. If he were to miraculously break off his proposal and run off with me (which was highly doubtful, might I add), he would get nothing but me. _Riku_. My name and happiness were rarely used in the same sentence together. But who knows? That could change if he was to ever see how much I longed for him. Too bad it was too late now.

I laughed again.

Sora was blind, had always been blind, and there was no reason for him to suddenly regain his vision now. All he had to do was follow Kairi wherever she went and nod whenever he saw her nod her head. That was it. There was no work involved in their relationship. It just _was_. And just for that fact, it should be illegal.

I was lost in my thoughts of how I would get an anti-Sora and Kairi marriage law passed when a hand landed gently on my shoulder. I blinked a couple of times and looked up, only to see Sora smiling down upon me. Even after all these years he was innocent and pure, and I just wanted to take him and keep him all to myself. My own personal little angel. But why would an angel want to belong to a demon? It was a relationship that would be doomed to fail from the beginning.

I did my best to smile back at him but I suppose a grimace only formed because he frowned and sat down next to me on the step outside the tuxedo rental store.

"What's wrong?" he muttered.

I shrugged and casually pulled my cigarettes from my pocket, sticking one between my lips and lighting it without a second thought. I inhaled deeply and sighed, letting the nicotine flood through my veins and calm my raging heart. Too bad it failed, and miserably too.

He shook his head and rested the side of his face on a fist, his elbow propped up on his knee, so he could look at me. "You're lying."

I took another drag off my cigarette and glared at him. It was a shame that that seemed to failed as well. He only sighed and shook his head again, dropping his hands in his lap.

"You're a piece of work, have I ever told you that?"

I snorted quietly. "Yeah, yet you haven't managed to kick me to the curb yet."

He frowned and the sight made my heart melt. "Why do you say that, Riku? You're my best friend. Hell, you have been for years. Why would I just suddenly kick you to the curb?"

I rolled my eyes and took another long drag off my cigarette. "You say that now, but just wait," I said as I exhaled. _'You'll hate me before this wedding is over with.'_

He sighed but kept the silence that hung between us. I only dared to break it when I thought it was going to suffocate me.

"Sora… Do you really love Kairi? Or are you just marrying her because everyone thinks you should?"

I felt him slightly in surprise and glanced over at him. He was looking at me critically, his brow furrowed and his eyes intense. His eyes. They were always so blue, always so filled with emotion. I wondered what they looked like when his mind was consumed by lust, clouded and full of need. The thought sent a shiver rippling through my body.

"Of course I love her, Riku." He sighed and looked away from me. "You asked me that same question the other day. Why? Have you heard something from someone? From Kairi?"

I shook my head. "No. I haven't heard anything. I was just curious. You know it's always been set in stone that the two of you would date and get married and have children. It's been like that since we were kids. So… I just…you know… I was just wondering."

Sora frowned but nodded his head. "Yeah, I see where you're coming from, but you know that Kairi and I ignored all the rumors that were thrown towards our relationship. It's ours and no one else's."

I laughed sadly and nodded. "Of course it is. Whose could it be but yours?"

He looked at me again with a furrowed brow but I kept my mouth shut. So many different things were swirling through my brain at the moment that I didn't want to open my big mouth and say something that would completely ruin everything. There was a thin line between something that could ruin our friendship or destroy the wedding, and was terrified to see how much wait that line could hold.

I took one last long drag from my cigarette before snuffing it out on the pavement and tossing it in the trashcan beside me. I turned to him and gave him my fake smile once again. "Well, I guess we should head on our way, huh? Kairi's probably going nuts because she hasn't heard from you."

He shrugged and pushed himself up from the step. I followed suit and waited for him outside while he went in to take care of the final touches to renting the tuxedos. He had quite a group on his side. I was his best man, Tidus and Wakka were ushers, and the boy of one of Kairi's friends was to be the ring bearer. Tidus and Wakka had been ordered to try and control their wild hairstyles since Sora was being forced to and the young boy had been bribed to make sure that he was on his best behavior at the wedding. All in all, it was a bunch of kids that was going to be standing before that patiently awaiting, and very mature, crowd.

I was just about to go inside to check on him when Sora came out of the store, grumbling angrily beneath his breath. I smirked. He was cute even when he was angry. His cheeks were tinged a slight shade of red and his eyes burned with frustration. I just wanted to hug him and make it all go away, but I knew that it wouldn't go over well at all.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and followed him silently to the car, his barely there curses fluttering through the air like the most delicate of sakura blossoms. I wanted to ask him what the problem was, maybe just to get him riled a bit more for my own sake, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wasn't supposed to be playing with him. He was my best friend, albeit the love of my life. I wasn't supposed to start any spats that resembled lover's quarrels because we weren't lovers. Only friends…_only friends_…

I sighed.

Kairi was _very _lucky girl.

We were plenty far away from the tuxedo shop and nearing the rendezvous point Kairi had told us to meet her at when I finally decided to open my mouth.

"Is everything okay, Sora?"

"Yes, everything's fine," he snapped. "Why?"

I laughed. "Because you would have just torn my head from my neck with your bare hands had they not been needed on the steering wheel."

He growled quietly and I chuckled. He sounded like an overly protective house cat. But, after that, silence fell in the car once again. I sighed heavily.

"So…?"

He growled again. "So what? The tuxedo people pissed me off, is that so bad?"

I laughed at his anger. "Ah, it's getting to you."

"What's getting to me? _Nothing _is getting to me."

I laughed again. "Of course it is. The stress of the wedding and all the preparations is finally starting to catch up with you." I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and smiled the crooked smile I only saved for him. "But don't worry. It'll go okay. You and Kairi will be married and you'll leave this place and forget about everyone you knew here."

"Riku…"

I turned my head to see him looking at me sadly, a mixture of pain, confusion, and frustration in his eyes. I shrugged.

"What? It's the truth."

The next thing I knew I was almost thrown headfirst out the windshield and squealing tires and honking horns filled the surroundings. I blinked, thankful for my seatbelt, and glanced at Sora curiously. The look that he was giving me sent a surge of need rushing through me. He was angry with me, there was no denying that, but there was something else beneath it all…something that I couldn't put my finger on. It was almost like he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind he knew how I felt about him and he wanted to slap me for it.

But no slap came. Instead, tears welled in his eyes and threatened to fall over. I sucked in a breath and longed to reach out and comfort him but I knew that he wouldn't let me do it anyway. I would just be shoved away.

"How the fuck can you say that, Riku? You think that we're just going to leave here the morning after the wedding and never come back?" he shouted. I stayed silent, my eyes locked on the dashboard in front of me. "Don't tell me that it's what you want." His voice had quieted to a sad, accusing whisper.

I willed myself to keep my mouth shut, but my heart outweighed my mind by a long shot. "No. It's not what I want. I want you to stay here forever, but I know that you won't." I finally looked at him to see that he was eyeing me with curiosity and a bit of anger.

I smiled. "You can't keep pretending that you're going to stay around here forever, Sora. You're the same as me, always talking about getting out of this god-forsaken place. Now's your chance so why don't you take it? Leave these memories behind you and welcome the new ones."

He furrowed his brow and shook his head, frowning. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Riku, but you need to get over it."

He checked over his shoulder and slowly started to move the car again, earning a few more angry curses from passersby. I longed to reach out and shake his shoulders, to scream at him that it was him that had gotten into me, that it was him who had _been_ into me for years now, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Was I really this weak? Hadn't I always been the stronger one? What a bad time for role-reversal.

A few minutes of tense silence later, Sora pulled the car up the curve of the posh hotel where the reception was to be held. Kairi needed him to be there for "help" on deciding on the arrangements to use.

We both climbed out of the car and Sora locked it with the remote control, a loud "bleeping" noise filling the parking garage. He looked at me warily and I stared back, every muscle in my body tense. He sighed and broke the eye contact, walking around the car so he was on my side.

"You're going home?"

I nodded.

"I could have given you a ride."

I shrugged.

He laughed. "What? Are you not talking to me now or something? Man, do you have your priorities backwards. It's me that shouldn't be talking to you."

I furrowed my brow and frowned.

He smiled sadly and shook his head. "Well, I guess I'll talk to you later, whenever you decide to get your head out of your ass and realize that I didn't do anything wrong."

When he turned on his heel and started to walk away, I felt the first little piece of my heart fall off. It had cracked a long time ago, but had somehow managed to stay together. I knew why. It was because of him. Even though he was with Kairi, he always managed to find time to spend with me. But now he was walking away from me, angry and frustrated. I couldn't let that happen.

I reached out before he was out of my grasp and clasped onto a wrist. He stopped walking and turned to look at me quizzically, his head cocked to the side cutely.

"What is it, Riku?" he muttered, anger hardening his words.

I smiled and pulled him to me, enveloping him in a quick hug before letting him go. "Kairi is a very lucky girl. And I'm glad that you're happy with her."

The words sent knife after knife into my heart, shredding it into millions of little pieces, but I kept my fake "I'm happy for you" smile on my face as he let his eyes search my features. I don't know if he found what he was looking for, but he sighed a few minutes later and shook his head.

"I'll talk to you later, Riku."

I nodded and watched him walk away until he disappeared around the corner ahead of us. I sighed and made my way as well, leaving the cool, dampness of the parking garage for the hot, humidity of the outside air. Why they decided to get married in the middle of the summer made no sense to me at all.

Shaking my head, I pushed my sleeves up on my arms and walked to my small apartment, my long hair shielding the tears that were running down my face from the rest of the world.

TBC...  
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**A/N: And _voila_! Hehe... It's short, yes, as all the other chapters that I have completed are. I'm doing that on purpose. The chapter length hasn't exceeded four pages yet. _::sighs::_ I'm not planning on making this a huge thing. It'll probably be 10 chapters at the most, and that's only because the chapters are so short...

Anyway...I hope you all enjoyed. Sorry for any typos, and if you could be so kind to tell me what you think I would love your forever!! Hehe..._::huggles to everyone::_...


	2. Pain

There's really not much to say here, except to let you know that the opening is a dream...not reality... Other than that...have fun reading!...

WARNINGS: language…shounen-ai…

**Disclaimer:** The characters of _Kingdom Hearts _belong to Disney and Square Enix…

**Part Two:  
Pain…**

There was something oddly familiar about this. This feeling, this time, this place. I felt like I had been here in some horrible dream or alternate reality. The sky above me was full of light, but the world around me was covered in a bleak, drab darkness that chilled me to my very core. It sent a violent shiver rippling down my spine to my toes.

Figures moved around me, shadows that danced and taunted me from the edge of the darkness. Their faces were shrouded in darkness, as were their bodies, but they were also oddly familiar. They were embracing each other and twirling in beautiful circles across the ground. Slow dancing… That's what they were doing. It was a happy couple who were slow dancing together in lieu of a celebration. But who was it?

I narrowed my eyes and shielded them from the nonexistent sun rays with my hand, but I still couldn't see. Why were they so cold? Why were they taunting me? It wasn't fair.

One of the figures stopped dancing and pulled away from the other, still holding its hand. The one who had stopped dancing seemed to turn its head and look at me, cocking its head to the side. Then it lifted its arm and held its hand out to me, and the shadows slowly began to clear, revealing a lean, tanned arm and almost feminine figure.

"Riku, come dance with me!"

The face was revealed last. Just the sight of it tore a half-gasp, half-sob from my lips. It was Sora, my beautiful Sora. My angel. He had a smile on his face and his beautiful blue eyes shimmered with happiness and peace. Behind him, the shadows were lifted from the second figure to reveal a slightly frowning Kairi, but though she was frowning, she didn't look unhappy. She never looked unhappy when she was around Sora. I don't think anyone could.

"Come on, Riku. I don't have all day!" Sora shouted.

I nodded and ran to where they stood. Sora took a brief and sarcastic bow and I returned it with a small laugh before reaching for his hand. But my hand never connected with his flesh. I watched in horror as my hand went through his. I tried again but only to reach the same feat. I couldn't touch him! He was beyond me…wasn't mine. He never would be mine.

He frowned in anger and turned his attention back onto Kairi. "You're a bastard, Riku. I know how you feel about me. It's disgusting. I'm in love with Kairi. Get over yourself."

"Sora, I…"

He shook his head. "No. Don't even try to talk." He grabbed Kairi's hand in his own and walked away from me. Their intertwined hands swung happily between them as they walked, and I swear that I heard Kairi giggle.

"Sora…"

In the sky above, the moon took its rare place in front of the sun and blocked out any light that shined on my world. Shadows grew and melded into the darkness and any standing landmarks were sucked away. But though there was no light, I could see myself. My skin seemed iridescent, glowing in the darkness. I wondered if anyone was out there—if they could see me—but I was too afraid to call out for help.

Two bare pinpricks of light flickered in the distance, and then they were gone.

"Sora!"

I sat up and blinked, my eyes wildly searching around me. It was light. I could see. I was on my couch in the living room, the flashing blue glow of the television screen the only light in my apartment. I sighed and rubbed my eyes violently with the palms of my hands, blinking wildly again to make sure that what I was seeing now wasn't the dream.

It wasn't.

A car drove past my window, the light from its headlights sneaking past the small crack in my shades and moving along my wall. In less than five seconds, it was gone.

I groaned and ran a hand back through my hair, pushing myself up from the couch with my other hand. My living room spun and wobbled, but I managed to catch myself before I fell back into the couch. I gave it a few minutes before I started to walk to my bathroom, taking one baby step at a time so I wouldn't trip and fall over anything in the middle of the hall.

I flicked the bathroom light on but turned it off after barely a second. It was so bright, almost blinding. The street light that shined through the small window over my shower was the only light in the room, but it was enough. My reflection looked liked a monster. My hair was wild and greasy, while my eyes were dead and dark bags hung beneath them. My skin was even paler than it usually was. I was a wraith, a mere shell of the person I used to be.

I couldn't keep living the way that I was. I hadn't eaten a decent meal or gone outside since I met with Sora for our tuxedo fittings. That had been a week ago. I sighed. I had sat idly by and let a week pass me by like it was nothing. I could have used the week to tell Sora my feelings, or at least be there for him, but I had decided to mope in my own misery instead. The latter had seemed a much better choice than the former at the time that I'd picked it.

I shook my head and started the faucet so I could splash water on my face, the typical cliché thing people do whenever they want to "cool down." I sighed and looked up at my tattered reflection, watching as my salty tears mixed with the water on my face and dripped from my chin, only to glitter spectacularly through the air before they burst across the countertop into small smudges that I wiped away with the towel.

My knees collapsed beneath me and I fell into a crumpled heap on the floor. Vicious sobs were wrenched from my chest, leaving me breathless. I gasped loudly and fell sideways onto the floor. The icy linoleum was like heaven against my heated skin.

No. I _really_ couldn't keep living like this.

I somehow managed to push myself up onto my legs and I slowly made my way out of the bathroom. I weaved my way through the hallway until I was back in my living room, where I collapsed onto the couch. The first rays of sunlight were beginning to shine through the cracks in the blinds over my windows.

I closed my eyes and let sleep take over my senses, even as tears kept flowing. I was exhausted. Maybe this time I would finally get a proper amount of sleep.

**""**

Excuse the bad pun, but my dreams were short-lived. I was pulled from my only decent slumber an hour after it had started by incessant knocking on my front door. I groaned and put a pillow over my head, but it didn't work for much when they started ringing the doorbell. Muttering a few curses under my breath, I pushed myself up from my uncomfortable position on the couch and trudged to my door.

I pulled the door open. "Can I help you?"

_Smack!_

I was awake now. I blinked a couple of times and put a shocked hand against my cheek. It was Sora. He was breathing hard and was on the brink of tears. And he had just…smacked me? My hand fell limply to my side and I quickly diverted my eyes so I was looking at the brick wall behind his shoulder.

"You asshole! Where have you been? Why haven't you been answering your phone?" he shouted and pushed me inside, slamming the door behind him. "I've been trying to talk to you for days. Why have you been ignoring me?"

I kept silent, my eyes glued to the carpet. I refused to look at him. I wouldn't be able to stand it. I had seen enough of his pain and anger with the small glance I'd allowed myself at first. I couldn't bear to see anymore. It would tear me apart.

"Answer me, damn you!"

I shook my head.

_Smack!_

I sighed and grabbed his wrist just before it landed against my cheek in another strike. Sora growled and ripped it away.

"How long has it been since you left your apartment, Riku?" His voice was so sad and angry. "And you look like shit. Have you been taking care of yourself?"

He sighed when I didn't answer. He grabbed onto my arm and pulled me from my living room to the bathroom.

"I'm going to run you a bath and you're going to tell me what's wrong while you're cleaning up," he muttered.

I couldn't stop my lips from curling upwards slightly. Typical Sora. It's what we always used to do when we were younger. When one of us had a problem and didn't want to talk about it, the other would run a bath and the two of us would talk it out over the hot water and bubbles. Only one of us was in the tub, of course. My secret would have been exposed a long time ago if we had bathed together.

Sora started the hot water and added a small squirt of the bubble bath I kept under my sink. Bubbles sprung up immediately and grew as the water ran.

"I'm gonna grab you a towel. You better be undressed and in the water by the time I come back."

I nodded and he left the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I heard him digging around in the linen closet just outside the bathroom while I took my clothes off. I was making myself comfortable in the hot water by the time he came back in, a towel held tightly in his arms.

He frowned and settled down on the floor so he was facing the tub. He sat cross-legged and propped his head on the arms he had crossed on the edge of the tub. He was so close, and I could feel his eyes watching me. I wanted to look at him so badly, but I couldn't do it.

"Sooo…what's the scoop? And it better be good since you've been ignoring me for the past week. I've been beyond worried about you, and so has Kairi."

I snorted. Of course Kairi had been worried about me…around Sora. She had always known about my affections toward Sora, so I knew that she harbored a sort of hatred toward me for that. I had a feeling that she would do her best to rub their marriage in my face on the day of their wedding. That fact made me hate her even more than I already did.

Sora sighed and splashed some water in my face. "Talk to me, dammit! Don't tell me you were just using me for my awesome bath making skills!"

I chuckled and shook my head. "No…"

I didn't fail to notice the way Sora seemed to cringe at the sound of my voice. I didn't blame him. Not only did I look like shit, but I sounded like it too. I guess it could only be expected since I hadn't really talked to anyone in over a week.

"Riku…" Sora's eyes were full of sadness.

"I'm sorry, Sora."

He sighed and shook his head. "No. I guess I should have asked you before I just threw you into the wedding. I just thought that you would want to be my best man since you're my best friend and all." He sighed again. "I guess I was wrong."

"No!" He jumped and I shook my head. "No! Don't think that I don't want to be your best man because I do. I really do. It's just…things are a little more…complicated than that."

He frowned and furrowed his brow. "How so?"

I laughed. "Just forget about…"

"No! I want to know what's got you so down. And how is it complicated? I don't want to have the wedding if you're not going to be there!" He clasped his hands over his mouth and dropped his eyes to the water.

"You could do so much better than me, Sora. You should know that."

He shook his head. "No. You're my best friend. I want you there. You _have_ to be there."

I sighed. "Sora. I can't…I can't watch you marry her." Tears sprang up in my eyes and I didn't try to stop them from falling. "I won't let her take you away from me."

He sighed. "We've had this conversation before, Riku. I'll still be here. I'll still be your best friend. We'll still be together, I'll just be married. That's the only difference."

I shook my head. "What if that isn't enough."

He frowned and perked up, resting his chin in his palms, his elbows propped up on the side of the tub. "What do you mean?"

Before I could stop myself, I reached out and put a hand behind his head. I felt him shiver, but whether it was from my touch or the water that dripped down the back of his shirt I can't be sure. I moved toward him slowly, giving him plenty of time to move and pull away if he wanted to. But he didn't. He continued staring at me with wide eyes.

My lips were just a fraction away from his. I could feel his breath as it ghosted over my cheeks.

"Riku…"

I closed my mouth over his. He gasped, but I watched as his eyes slowly drifted closed. I sighed when his hands gripped my upper arms, then moved up to wrap around my neck. I pulled him closer and in one tug he tumbled forward and fell into the water with me, but our lips never broke contact.

He was in my lap in the water. I slipped a hand under his soaked shirt and ran my fingers across the muscles of his stomach. He gasped and I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. One of his hands lost itself in my hair and tugged at it gently. I moaned and moved my hand up his stomach to toy with one of his nipples. He moaned that time.

I chuckled into the kiss and pulled away so we could both breathe. A pretty blush covered Sora's face and made him look even cuter than he usually did.

"Riku…"

He sighed and slowly opened his eyes. They grew wider with every passing second, until they were the size of platters. Before I could stop him, he jumped out of the water and slipped across the bathroom floor.

"What? You? Me? We…just…"

I sighed. "You wanted to know what was wrong with me," I muttered.

He shook his head. "No. Me and Kairi. We're getting married and… You and me…"

He was gone before I could say anything else. I heard the front door slam and then I knew that he was really gone…for good. It was over. There was no way that he would want to be around me anymore, not now that he knew my feelings. He hated me. I knew it.

I curled into a ball in my bathtub, covering my entire body with water so my cries would be silent.

TBC...  
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**A/N: Poor, poor Riku. Why does everything always have to work against him? _::sighs::_ And poor Sora too. It's obvious that he enjoyed the kiss, but...yeah... I can only imagine what the people who saw Sora after he ran out of Riku's were thinking, though. It would be kind of weird to see a grown man running down the street in tears with bubbles clinging to his clothes. Hehe...

Anyway...sorry for any typos and such. See ya next part...


	3. Goodbye

Sooo…this chapter makes me seem like a complete and utter Kairi-hater. But, I'm not!!!! Like I've said before, I really enjoy Kairi's character, honestly, and I have no idea where it came from. Guess I've been reading too much "evil Kairi" fan fics lately…_::shrugs::_…

Anywho…enjoy!!…

WARNINGS: language…angst…sexual situations…

**Disclaimer:** the characters of _Kingdom Hearts _belong to Square Enix and Disney…

**Part Three:  
Reminiscence…**

It didn't take long to pack my bags. I went straight to it after I found the strength to stop crying and shove myself out of the bathtub. It took me less than half an hour to pack a single suitcase, shrug on a jacket, and grab the first bus that happened to stop at the station that was close by.

I don't know where I was going or how far I would be able to make it on the seventy-five dollars I had in my pocket. I hoped that it was enough to make it back to the islands where I had grown up. It would be nice to see my parents, and it was useless for me to stay in Radiant Garden anymore, anyway. What was the point if I would never be able to have Sora? He was all I had left to live for, and now that Kairi had taken him away from me, there was no reason to stay.

I sighed heavily and let my vision blur as I watched the dark world outside the bus window pass me by.

I wondered if Sora would miss me. Probably not. Kairi would come up with some bullshit story to make him believe that had I never really cared about either of them, just so she could fill him with hatred and spite in case I ever did return. That was just how she worked now.

It was easy for me to remember the days when the three of us were close friends. Sora, Riku, and Kairi. That's how it always was. It was almost like the three of us were connected at the hip. None of us went anywhere without the others. Sometimes it was tiring, but it was nice to know that there would always be people that I could rely on if I ever needed anything.

I don't know where it all went wrong, though. I remember falling into a pit of depression when I was fifteen that lasted for the better part of two years. Sora was there for me the entire time, and though she was there for me in the beginning, Kairi moved onto bigger and better things. She was too preoccupied to take care of me, or at least that's what I had told myself.

I think that Kairi was actually jealous of the amount of time Sora was spending with me. She and Sora had started dating when they were fifteen, a year after I had fallen into the pit and at the time when I was starting to realize just how strong my feelings toward my best friend were. I also have the feeling that, while it took me a little while to realize that I was really in love with Sora, Kairi knew it right from the beginning. She hated the feelings I had for Sora and, because of that, over time began to hate me as well.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and ask Kairi what I did to her that was so horrible. It's not like my feelings for Sora had forced her into a fierce competition. No. Back then, I had still seen Kairi as a close friend and I never would have done anything to take Sora away from her, even though it meant sacrificing my own happiness in the long run. It was painful, but I was willing to do anything for a friend.

It wasn't until my eighteenth birthday that I really started to return Kairi's ugly feelings. It was supposed to be a wonderful day, though laid back at the same time. The three of us had planned to go to the amusement park and spend the day hanging out and riding rides and doing all the fun things we never really got to do as kids. Unfortunately, a downpour of rain started to fall before I was even able to leave the house to pick up the other two, and the bigwigs at the park decided to close down for the day.

Okay, so maybe that doesn't sound too horrible. It really shouldn't, because that wasn't the worst part. I decided that I would just spend the day at home and the three of us could do something on a different day. I called Sora first and Kairi just so happened to be at his house. He agreed to the plans, but just as I was hanging up with him, my phone rang again and it was Kairi. She said to forget about moping around all day and to get my ass over to Sora's. I agreed. I shouldn't have.

I could have driven to Sora's house with my eyes closed, so the heavy rains didn't hinder my trip at all. I pulled into his driveway and ran up to his front porch with a smile on my face, still a little surprised that it had been Kairi who had insisted that I come over.

I didn't even bother to knock, too used to letting myself into Sora's house to remember the common courtesy. Instead, I pushed open the door and walked right inside. The sight I was met with is one that I never want to see again.

Kairi had Sora pinned to ground while she rode him passionately. They were both still mostly clothed, but the amount of pleasure that was showing on Sora's thrown back face only meant one thing. Their moans twined together in the air to form a vicious demon that was intent on tearing my sanity to shreds. The image would haunt my nightmares for years to come.

With wide eyes, I stumbled backwards and into a table, knocking a fair amount of fragile decorations onto the floor. The glass shattered and Sora was immediately pulled from the lustful reverie he had fallen into. His eyes were the size of platters as he shoved Kairi off him and took care to hide his personal parts. Kairi just stared at me with wide eyes that would have looked surprised to anyone else, but to me they were full of cunning and evil.

"R-Riku, what are you doing here?" Sora stuttered while he fumbled with his fly. "I thought you said that you were going to stay home."

I frowned and looked him over. "I was until your _girlfriend_ called and suggested I come over instead of moping by myself," I hissed, making sure to say 'girlfriend' with extra venom.

Sora frowned cutely and turned his attention onto Kairi, cocking his head to the side. "Did you really, Kairi? Why didn't you say something so…so…you know…"

Kairi made her eyes as wide and innocent as she possibly could, forcing tears to her eyes. "I-I did, Sora, but I didn't know that he would be right over. I mean…it's pouring outside. What kind of idiot would drive in this kind of weather?"

I snorted. "Oh, so I'm an idiot now, Kairi? Thanks so much for you wonderful compassion, you conniving little bitch." I turned on my heel and went to the door. "I'm leaving. I'll learn to knock from now on. I'd rather not have to see my best friend fucking his bitch girlfriend again."

"Riku!"

I ignored Sora's voice and went to my car. I ignored him running out of the house after me. I ignored his pounds on my window, screaming for me to just let him explain…to just let him talk to me and we could fix what had happened. I wanted to ignore his tears, but I couldn't and a sharp stab of pain tore through my heart when I saw him collapse in his front yard as I drove away…

…And now here I was. Almost four years had passed since that fateful day, and I was running away from Sora and my feelings…again. I couldn't help but laugh at the thought. Life was so fucking unfair that it wasn't funny. Why couldn't Sora see that his fiancée was a horrible little bitch who didn't care about anyone but herself? Why couldn't the gods above just give him a break? Why couldn't they let him be with someone who would really love him for all eternity? Kairi was only still with him in spite of me. I could see it in her eyes that she really didn't care for Sora, and it drove me insane.

Sighing quietly, I rested my forehead against the glass of the bus window and closed my eyes. None of that mattered anymore. It was time for me to get over what had happened in the past and start a new life, a life away from Radiant Garden and all the bad memories that resided there.

**""**

It was dark again when I next woke. I don't know what had possessed me to wake up, other than maybe the fact that I had slept straight through the entire day and my body didn't need anymore rest. I could have blamed it on the rain, but even at home I had been able to sleep soundly through a thunder storm. The sounds of the rain and thunder just helped to lull me into sleep faster.

Groaning, I yawned and stretched out as much as I could, cringing as my back popped in several different places. When the pain settled, I slouched down into my seat and pulled the thin bus blanket tighter around my body to ward off the sudden chill in the air. I hastily scanned the bus around me to see that everyone else was asleep, even the girl who had stolen the seat beside me that had been empty when I had fallen asleep.

I felt a small smile flit across my lips as I watched the girl sleep. She was young, probably no older than eighteen, with shoulder length pale blonde hair and headphones stuffed into her ears. The way her pale skin seemed to glow in the moonlight made her look like an angel. Hell, she was pretty enough, and she radiated an air of innocence. The innocence was probably fake, but there was no way for me to tell while she was sleeping.

The girl groaned quietly in her sleep and twitched a little bit, and I turned my attention to the wet world outside the window just in case she was waking up. When there were no other movements after a couple of minutes, I sighed and turned my attention back to her. She had only moved a little bit, just enough to wiggle one of her headphones out of her ears. The small bud had fallen into her lap and I could hear the music easily with the silence on the bus.

"…_How many times have you told me you love her? As many times as I wanted to tell you the truth. How long have I stood here beside you? I lived through you, you looked through me… Solitude, still with me is only you. Oh, solitude, I can't stay away from you…"_

I felt my eyes widen as I listened to each word that poured from the headphone. The woman's voice was so beautiful…so haunting. The sound of it sent chills rippling down my spine and tears to my eyes. Wanting to hear more, I carefully grabbed the bud from the girl's lap and slipped it carefully into my ear, closing my eyes as the words flooded over me.

"…_How many times have I done this to myself? How long will it take before I see? When will this hole in my heart be mended? Who now is left alone but me?…Solitude, forever me and forever you. Solitude, only you, only true…Everyone leaves me stranded, forgotten, abandoned, left behind. I can't stay here another night…"_

I was crying and I knew it, but there was nothing that I could do about it except to just let them flow as the song continued, picking up as it neared the end.

"…_Your secret admirer. Who could it be? Can't you see all along it was me? How can you be so blind as to see right through me?…Solitude, still with me is only you. Solitude, I can't stay away from you…Solitude, forever me and forever you. Solitude, o__nly you, only true."_

The song ended and moved onto another one, sung by the same woman with the same haunting voice, and I pulled the headphone out of my ear. The tears that had started to fall while listening to the song refused to stop and I quickly found myself burying my face into my hands to stifle my sobs.

If there was ever a song to describe how I felt about watching Sora being carried away by Kairi, that song was it. The words were so beautiful, and the voice of the woman who had been singing sent chills down my spine.

'_How can you be so blind as to see right through me?'_ I laughed inwardly and wiped at my face in annoyance. I had been crying too much lately. _'Really, Sora. How could you have been so blind? And how could I have been so stupid?'_

I sighed and closed my eyes, resting my head on the pillow behind me. Here I was, trying to run away from Sora, Radiant Garden, and all of my feeling attached to them, and a simple song was able to make me break down again. I could have sworn that I had felt myself growing stronger with every mile that was spaced between me and that place. I guess I must have been wrong.

"You like Evanescence, too?" a soft voice asked.

I frowned and opened my eyes, only to be met with the gentle smiling face of the blonde girl beside me. She pulled the other headphone from her ear and stopped the music, shoving the small MP3 player into her purse before turning to me with the same smile on her face.

"Is that who you were listening to?"

She nodded happily and, now that she was awake, I could tell that the innocence she had radiated while sleeping wasn't really there. "Yeah. Isn't Amy Lee's voice so beautiful? Like a thousand angels singing from heaven. It can really get to you sometimes." She smiled again and looked at me softly. She had seen me crying. Dammit.

"Yeah. I don't know what came over me," I lied.

She smiled gently—knowingly—and held her hand out to me. "I'm Naminé."

I returned the smile and took her hand. "I'm Riku," I said, shaking her hand gently. I don't know why, but I liked this girl already.

Naminé laughed and ran a hand back through her hair, making it look even messier than it already did. It didn't take long for a bus trip to completely dishevel a person's appearance.

"Well, Riku, where are you headed? You've been on this godforsaken bus for longer than I have."

I laughed and nodded. "Yeah. I'm going to Destiny Islands. My parents are there. I figured it was time for me to pay them a visit."

"Ah…so you're going home, huh?" She smiled sadly. "Then that makes us opposites. I'm running away."

I frowned, wanting to ask why she was running away from home and wondering just how old she really was. Some kids nowadays looked much older than they really were. Was this girl one of them?

"Soo…it looks like we're going to the same place, friend," Naminé said, pulling me out of my thoughts. "And it looks like we're going to be spending a couple more days trapped on this stupid bus together."

I laughed. "Yeah. I guess I forgot just how far Destiny Islands was from Radiant Garden."

Naminé smiled and stretched her arms nimbly above her head. When she was done, she sighed heavily and turned in her seat so she was facing me. "Radiant Garden, huh? I always wanted to go there. I just never had the time. What's it like?"

I shrugged, not liking where this conversation was headed one bit, but I couldn't leave her without an answer. "Okay, I guess. It's definitely not all that it's cracked up to be, though. I can promise you that much. The people are like people in any other city. Some are absolutely horrible while others are…too kind for their own good."

She cocked her head to the side and brushed a strand of hair that shrouded her face behind her ear. "Oh. I see. So maybe our reasons for going to the Islands aren't as different as I thought."

I frowned and glared at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She shrugged and smiled sweetly, turning back around in her seat so she was facing forward and grabbing her fallen blanket from the floor so she could cover herself. "You're running away too. And I think I know why, seeing how you broke down while listening to 'Solitude' like that."

I continued to glare at her. "You don't know anything," I hissed.

She shrugged and closed her eyes, eventually drifting back off into dreamland. I wanted to stay mad at her, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. She _did_ tell the truth, after all. I was running away…running away from anything and everything I had ever held dear to me.

Grumbling quietly to myself under my breath, I cast one last glance at Naminé before settling down into my chair. There wasn't anything to do besides stare blankly out the window, so I decided that sleep would be the next best thing.

TBC…  
**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**  
A/N: Sooooo...there it is. Hehe...I LOVE Namine!!! _::spazs::_ Seriously, though, she's an awesome character to write and I'm kicking myself in the face for not adding her into "Awakening" more. _::sighs::_ Oh, well. There's always parts two and three to add her into more. Hehe...

Anywho...Sorry for any typos and all that jazz. I actually took the time to sit down and edit this chapter, but you never know. I probably missed something here or there. But, I hope you liked!!...

See ya in the next chapter!!...


	4. Homecoming

I looooooooove writing Naminé. Why? I have no idea, but I absolutely love it. Especially this Naminé. She's fun and spunky, even though she's OOC. But who cares? I couldn't make everyone as angsty and emo as Riku, could I? That would just be boring…

WARNINGS: language…

**Disclaimer:** the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney...

**Part Four:  
Homecoming…**

After the first night with Naminé on the bus, I had made a friend. We didn't go anywhere without the other, but I think that it was more because it gave us a sense of security than anything else. We were both running away from everything to a place that held pretty much nothing. The only thing we had the moment was each other, and we were going to hold onto it for as long as we could. At least, I was.

It didn't take long for me to tell Naminé the real reason as to why I was running away, though she really didn't act too surprised. The only thing she really seemed surprised about was how badly Kairi treated me. After I told her the story, she proceeded to refer to Kairi as "that bitch" whenever she talked about her and "that bitch" only. I thought it was kind of funny and it somehow made the situation I was in feel a little bit lighter.

After I told her my sob story, she told me hers, saying that it was only fair. It turned out that she had left her home in Twilight Town so she could pursue a career in art. Her parents didn't agree with her decision at all because they, like many others, believed that there was no money for artists in the world. They had expected her to go to college and get a business major, so she had been given no other option but to run away before they could do anything about it. "And because I'm eighteen," she had said, "they can't make me go back until I'm ready."

By the time the driver announced that we were about an hour away from Destiny Islands on almost our third day together on the bus, I knew pretty much everything about Naminé, though she only knew a few things about me. I knew that her favorite color was crisp white and that her favorite season was summer. I knew that her favorite band was Evanescence and that she secretly dreamed of pulling an Ursula and stealing away Amy Lee's voice. I knew that drawing and painting were the number one loves in her life, though she admitted that she had a small little crush on one of the friends she was going to be living with. When she told me that his name was Roxas, I almost choked on my mouthful of soda.

_Roxas_. Sora had a cousin named Roxas who always used to come and visit the Islands when we were kids. Last I had heard about the blonde, Sora had been trying to get in contact with him about the wedding, but had never succeeded. Was this the same Roxas? No. That Roxas had lived in Twilight Town. But so had Naminé. And hadn't she mentioned that the friends she was going to be staying with had gone to Destiny Islands for college?

And, all in all, I felt kind of bad for the girl. Judging by the last few times Sora had talked about Roxas, he was taken, so she was going to have to put up a fight. Too bad her predicament was completely reversed from mine. Sora had said that Roxas had a boyfriend. Wonderful. Why couldn't Sora have been the gay one in the family? Because then life would have been too easy for me, of course.

"You okay?" Naminé said quietly, poking me gently in the side.

I blinked as I was pulled back into reality and nodded quickly. "Yeah, sorry. I just wasn't expecting to hear you say that name."

She frowned. "What name? Roxas?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Sora has a cousin named Roxas. The three of us used to play together all the time when we were kids."

As soon as I said it, I wished that I hadn't. Naminé's eyes lit up and she clasped her hands together excitedly. She even managed to bounce up and down in her seat a little bit.

"Really? You know Roxas? Oh! You'll have to go see him! He's always used to talk about his cousin, though he never really gave us a name." She clapped happily. "Oooooh…this is so exciting!"

I shook my head and smiled sadly at the small pout she gave me.

"Awww! Why not?" she whined.

I sighed. "If I was to see Roxas, then he would be able to get in contact with Sora, and then _he_ would know where I ran to. I don't want him to find out. It's why I'm _running away_, remember?" I conveniently left out the fact that Sora hadn't mentioned speaking to Roxas in the past year outside of grumbling annoyances at not knowing his new address so he could send him a wedding invitation.

"Well, poopy shit. That ruins my plans," she pouted.

I laughed and shrugged. "Yeah, I seem to be doing that a lot lately."

She frowned and patted my arm gently. "I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you with Sora, Riku. But maybe you'll be able to make a fresh start in Destiny Islands. Find a job, find a place, find someone new to love…or at least like a lot."

I opened my mouth to argue with her, but she silenced me with a glare.

"Look, you're not going to get anywhere if you just sit around and mope for the rest of your life. I know that you'll probably never forget about him, but you have to try to at least move past your feelings for Sora. You can't let them dominate your life or else you'll never really have a life at all. And how much fun would that be?"

I shrugged, thoroughly annoyed with the change of conversation. Naminé just laughed.

"Oh, come on, Riku. Get over yourself," she said, and when she gave me a sly look, I knew I was in trouble. "And I'm going to introduce you to Roxas and everyone else. It's already decided and there's nothing you can do about it, so don't even try to argue with me."

I gaped at her, probably looking all like a fish out of water. She erupted into a fit of giggles and covered her mouth with a hand as she fell over in her seat. When she finally got herself under control, she pushed herself up and smiled sweetly.

"I'm serious, though. I know that you don't want to see Roxas, but he's the best one I can think of to help you out. He may be a royal ass sometimes, but he's learned about the island in the year he's been there so he'll probably be able to help you get a job and whatnot."

I scowled. "Who ever said that I wanted a job?"

She shrugged. "You're going to need something to support you, unless you're planning on returning to Radiant Garden sometime soon." When I didn't reply, she just smiled. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"You're evil."

She smiled sweetly and made her eyes sparkle. "Now what makes you say such a horrible thing like that? You're just angry because I'm right, and you know it."

I chose not to answer her this time and turned my attention to the world outside the window, sighing as we finally made our way into Destiny Islands and more familiar landscape began to show up. The first thing I spotted was the old barn Sora and I had taken refuge in during a game of hide-and-seek with Kairi when we were around eight years old. It had taken her three hours to find us, and the only reason she had found us was because Sora couldn't stop giggling whenever she walked past our hiding spot. I couldn't help but laugh as we drove past the ice cream parlor the three of us would always walk to after school. And there, just barely in the distance, I could see the small island the three of us used to play on with other kids on the Islands. It had been our "adult-free zone," or something like that. Seeing it sent a jolt of pain through my chest. It had been on that island, sitting on the trunk of my favorite fallen tree, when I had first realized that I loved Sora.

Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to come back after all.

A knot formed in my stomach as the bus station loomed in the distance. The knot turned to an anvil as the bus pulled to a stop in front of the station. I sighed and closed my eyes, resting my head on the headrest while I tried to swallow past the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat. I tried my hardest to ignore all the bustling around me, but was forced to pay attention when Naminé poked me sharply in the ribs. I opened my eyes and glared at her, but she just smiled sweetly.

"So…are you coming or not? Don't tell me you rode the bus all this way for nothing?"

I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair. She was right. I had come all this way…spent the better part of five days stuck in a bus… I was not going to chicken out now.

Sighing one more time, I pushed myself up from my seat and grabbed my messenger bag from the floor. I took my time situating it across my chest and then followed Naminé off the bus. We quickly grabbed our luggage from the compartment under the bus and headed into the station.

Naminé was spotted almost immediately and someone called out her name. She perked up and waved, but turned to me instead of running over to where her party stood. I looked at her quizzically but she just gave me that innocent little smile of hers.

"Lemme see your hand," she said and dug around in her purse before coming out with a pen.

I held my hand out reluctantly and she scribbled something down on it quickly. I noticed when she was done that it was a phone number.

"It's my cell phone number," she explained before I could ask. "Call me sometime. I know you'll probably be lonely and I know I will be too, so maybe we can hang out sometime. And besides, if you don't call me, I'll find you somehow. I've still gotta get you and Roxas to see each other, remember?"

I raised an eyebrow at her words and frowned. "Are you going to stalk me now?"

She just giggled and gave me a hug, kissing me briefly on the cheek, before she ran off to meet her friends and left me alone. I stood in the middle of the crowded station for a couple of minutes and watched everyone around me. They all had someone there to meet them. No one was alone. This was depressing.

I sighed and grabbed the handle on my suitcase so I could drag behind me as I left the station and started the walk to my old house, stopping only to get a bottle of water from a nearby vending machine.

I couldn't help but wonder if my parents would be surprised to see me. I know that I probably should have called before I just showed up at their doorstep, but everything had happened so quickly that there really hadn't been time to pick up a phone. I could only hope that they wouldn't be too angry with me, though I doubted that they would. They always welcomed unexpected visitors into the house, so why would they be any different with their son?

I knew my mom would pry and try to get something out of me as to the reason of my sudden return home, but I wouldn't tell her anything. She would figure it out in time anyway. She always did. Like Kairi, she had realized my feelings for Sora before I had even realized them myself. Unlike Kairi, thankfully, she had taken the news much better. Hell, even my father had taken the news better than Kairi had.

Halfway through the walk, I had to stop and pull my thin jacket from my shoulders. I had forgotten how hot it got on the Islands when the afternoon sun was beating down. I took a long drink from my bottle of water before I started my walk again.

When I got closer to my house, I started to pass people I recognized from before I had left. Older people who were friends with my parents waved at me from their front porches. Some people who I had gone to high school with waved me down and greeted me with a sharp slap on the back, asking how I was doing. I kept the conversation short for the most part and just let them know that I was in town to see my parents. One person dared to ask about Sora, and I told them that our friendship had fallen apart after we went to college, even though it tore my heart into pieces to say it. They just frowned and said, "That's too bad," before they shook my hand and went on their way.

The heavy anvil that had taken its place in my stomach when the bus had stopped at the station reformed as I turned onto my street and saw my house looming just ahead. Aside from a new coat of paint since I had last seen it, the two-story Tudor house looked like it always had. Picture perfect.

When I got close enough to the house, I noticed that two people were sitting on the swing on the front porch. Mom and Dad. They looked like they always had, as well. Dad's hair was greyer and Mom had developed a few more wrinkles, but I could feel their lightheartedness even from where I stood frozen at the end of the walkway leading to the porch.

Mom noticed me first. Her smile faltered briefly when she turned her attention from her conversation with Dad, but immediately replaced itself as she stood from the swing and started toward me.

"Riku, sweetie. Is that you?" she called, shielding her eyes from the sunlight as she walked down the steps and down the walkway.

I didn't take the time to say yes before I hugged her when she stopped in front of me. She just laughed heartily and returned the hug tightly, kissing me softly on the cheek when she pulled away.

She held my face in her hands and sighed quietly. "You look terrible, honey. Is everything okay?"

I tried my hardest to give a false smile, but I knew that she saw through it when she frowned. Before she could ask anything else, I said, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just need a shower. The bus stations don't have any showers so I haven't been able to bathe in about five days."

"Okay…" she muttered, though I knew she didn't believe me. She quickly turned her mood around when my father placed a hand on her shoulder and turned to him with a smile on her face.

I looked over to my father slowly and smiled at the happy expression that was on his face.

"How are you, son?"

"Alright, I guess. Give me a shower and a decent meal, and I'll feel a hundred percent better."

He laughed and patted me on the shoulder, stepping out of the way. "Then by all means, go bathe. I'll fix supper for us while you're in there and we can eat together."

I nodded and smiled, muttering, "Thanks, Dad," when I walked past him and followed Mom into the house.

"Your bedroom is in the same place as it always has been. Same with the bathroom, so I don't think you'll have any trouble finding anything. If you do, though, don't hesitate to ask."

I nodded and left her behind as I started up the staircase. It had been so long since I had been in this house, but nothing felt awkward. It felt like…home. More home than Radiant Garden had ever felt, even with Sora there with me. And now that I was back, I started to wonder why it was that I left in the first place. The Islands had a college of their own and Sora was going to go wherever I went, so there really was had been no need for us to leave.

But then I remembered Kairi and all my reasons for leaving the Islands came rushing back to me. I had decided to leave because I knew that Sora was going to follow me and I prayed that Kairi wouldn't. But of course, she had had to ruin my plans and come with us, ignoring her father's pleas for her to stay at home.

I sighed when I opened my bedroom door and found that everything was exactly the same as I had left it. Seeing that there wasn't any sign of dust, it seemed that Mom had been in and cleaned not long ago. I smiled. I would have to ask her about that later, but right now more pressing matters were at hand.

I lifted my suitcase onto the bed and opened it, pulling out the first outfit I got my hands on, my brush, and some soap before I disappeared into the bathroom and wasn't seen or heard from for about an hour.

Dinner was ready when I went to find my parents and the three of us settled down around the patio table on the back deck to eat a good dinner. We did a lot of catching up, and I was glad that neither of them mentioned anything about Sora. I couldn't help but think that my mom had something to do with that. She had probably noticed something was off and warned Dad not to say anything about it. It didn't sound like something she wouldn't do.

When dinner was done, I helped to clean up the dishes and sat with my parents for a little longer, but I didn't last for long. Even though it was only eight o'clock, I was falling asleep on the couch while we watched TV and Mom ordered me to go up to bed and get a good night's sleep. I didn't have the energy to argue with her so I gave her a kiss on the cheek and waved to Dad, and then made my way up to the bedroom.

I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

TBC…  
**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: **Yay...Riku's home! Will he find peace at the Islands or will everything come back to bite him in the ass...and hard? _::shrugs::_ Hehe... And this is the last chapter I have written completely, so I dunno how fast the next update will come out. I won't give any hopes because I always managed to curse myself, so yeah...

This went through what I like to call a "skim editing," which really isn't an editing at all. Well...it is, but a seriously crappy one. Sorry, but I haven't had the time to edit with work being so crazy. THREE MORE DAYS!! _::sighs::_ I think I might be more excited than the kids...

Anyway...thank you for reading and thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I love you all and your feedback is very much appreciated...

Until next chapter...adieu...


	5. Coffee

Sooooo...who's ready for some more Riku angsting? I know I am...Hehe...

WARNINGS: language…

**Disclaimer:** the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney…

**Part Five:  
Coffee…**

The next few days passed with as much peace as I could have asked for. I had never realized how beautiful a place the Islands really were while I had been living there. I guess I had been too bent on getting away from the place and had taken everything for granted. It was kind of saddening to think that it had taken me almost five years to come and cherish the pure beauty of my hometown.

I spent quite a bit of time roaming the sidewalks of the Islands, breathing in the crisp ocean air and just enjoying the down time. I caught up with people I hadn't seen since high school at the corner café while sipping on an iced Chai latte and munching on a scone. I was relieved but surprised when none of them mentioned Sora. He and I had been friends since I could remember, so it was odd. Maybe they took my presence in Destiny Islands without Sora as a warning to not mention the brunet. How could I know?

My parents were sympathetic about the whole situation. Sure, I didn't tell them the reason why I suddenly returned home after not calling for about a year, but they didn't ask why either. They had both been well aware of my feelings for Sora before we had run off to Radiant Garden, so they had probably just put two and two together and realized the problem. My mother had always been very intuitive when it came to those kinds of things. And my father? Well, he was probably just being the man that he was and staying away from the topic all together. You know, the whole "he's a man and doesn't have to deal with emotions" kind of macho bullshit type of thing.

I wondered if my parents had heard news of Sora and Kairi's wedding from their parents, but I didn't want to ask. If I were to ask them, it would just bring forth a tumult of emotion that I really didn't feel like dealing with. I didn't want to remember that his wedding was that very day. I didn't want to remember that he was marrying someone who had only agreed to the arrangement in spite of me. I didn't want to remember how it had felt to have my lips pressed against his. I didn't want to remember how he tasted. I didn't want to remember how he felt in my arms.

But dammit, I did! I remembered it every single day and it tore away at my conscious mind like some kind of deadly virus. I wanted to talk to him—to hear his voice—so badly, but every time my phone rang and I saw his name flashing in the ID box, I couldn't bring myself to answer it because the one thing I didn't want to remember the most was the slightly betrayed look that had flashed across his face just before he had run away from me.

What made it even more painful, though, was that I had no way to vent about it. I didn't want to talk about it with my parents because my mom would over-exaggerate and my father would act like he wasn't even listening to me. I didn't have any friends left on the Islands that would care enough to talk to me and hear my problems. I had no one to talk to, no one to go so I could be distracted and not think about how horribly my life was going downhill.

Then suddenly, as if it had been there all along, a flash of brilliant blonde hair ran through my mind and I remembered that I _did_ have someone to go to. Naminé. Sure, she was probably having enough of her own problems, but she had said that she wanted to get together sometime, hadn't she? So why not now?

I jumped up from my bed and grabbed my cell phone from my bedside table. I flipped it open and quickly searched through the numbers I had archived until I found the right one. I paused, though, when I started to press the green button to dial her number. What if she didn't want to hear from me? She was probably as happy as she could be now that she was away from her controlling parents, so why would she want to listen to me vent off my problems?

I was just about to close the phone with a sigh when it started to vibrate in my hand. It startled me so badly that I almost dropped it, even more so when I saw Naminé's name flashing across the seen. Was the girl psychic? Or did she just have really bad timing? There was no way that I wouldn't be able to answer it, though.

Sighing heavily, I pressed the accept button and put the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, Riku!" was her happy reply. "Do you miss me yet?"

I laughed. "Of course I do. How could I not miss that annoying little voice of yours?"

"Hey! That was mean!" she shouted, but I could hear the laughter in her voice and it made me smile. This girl was insane. She was magick. Only moments before I had been agonizing over life and just the sound of her voice was able to bring a smile to my face.

"Sorry," I muttered. "But, yes. To tell you the truth, I have missed you."

She chuckled quietly. "I was wondering if you wanted to get together for a little bit today. You know, maybe grab a cup of coffee or something. I know you probably don't want to be alone seeing as…you know…"

I sighed. Had she really remembered the date of the wedding? I had only mentioned it in passing once. But I knew that if I didn't say yes to her offer now, I would regret it later. "Sure, why not? I could use the distraction, and a cup of coffee sounds nice."

"Awesome! How does two-ish sound?"

I glanced at my clock and saw that it was just barely after noon. "Sounds good. But why two-_ish_? Why not _two_?"

"Because if I pick an exact time I tend to be late." She giggled and I pictured her putting a hand over her mouth to stifle them. "Saying two-ish makes me feel better if I show up a little after two."

"Ah-ha," I sighed. "Perfect logic." It sounded like something Sora would say.

Wonderful. I wasn't supposed to be thinking about him right now! Wasn't that the whole reason as to why I had answered the phone in the first place? Gods dammit!

"Okay!" Her voice pulled me out of my thoughts so forcefully that I jumped. "So two-ish it is! I'll see you then?"

"Can't wait," I muttered.

I smiled as I closed my phone, but frowned when I glanced at my clock. It was only twelve-fifteen. Two-ish was going to take forever to get here. I could just feel it.

**""**

And I was right. Two-ish took forever to arrive. I glanced at any clock I hanging over the kitchen sink so often that I think my mother was starting to think that I was going insane. Sad thing was, she probably thought right. But the time one-forty-five rolled around I grew tired of waiting and left the house quickly, throwing a quick goodbye to my mom over my shoulder as I slipped into my flip-flops and walked out the door.

It was a beautiful day. The temperature was surprisingly comfortable and a cool breeze blew across my face and danced with my hair. It was nice to be back in the familiar climate, a place where wearing a T-shirt, blue jeans and flip-flips was commonplace year-round. I even caught flashes of high schoolers shopping around in their swimsuits for last minute supplies before they headed to the beach.

Even with the comfortable weather, I was sweating by the time I made it to the café. I sighed happily as I walked in the door and was hit with a refreshing blast of an artificial breeze from the air conditioner vent in the ceiling. Nodding to the barista behind the counter, I made my way to an isolated table in a corner by the window and checked the clock. It was two o'clock. Now if I could only guess exactly what time two-ish was, I would be all set.

Sighing heavily, I quickly tied my hair out of my face with the rubber band around my wrist and threw another glance at the clock. Only a few seconds had passed. Beautiful. And though I wanted to stare at the clock until Naminé arrived, I knew that it would only make the time move even slower than it already was.

The barista who had been behind the counter wandered over my table with a small smile on her face, pulling a pad of paper out of her apron as she did.

"I'll just have an iced Chai latte, please," I said before she could ask what I wanted to order. "The biggest size you have."

The girl nodded and jotted the order down onto her pad of paper before she made her way back to her station behind the counter with a pout on her face. I knew that she had probably wandered over to the table with ulterior motives outside of taking my order and that I had just shot her down, but I really couldn't find the energy to care at the moment.

The little bells that hung on the door jingled and announced another patron's entrance to the café. I glanced at the clock before glancing at the door and smiled when I saw Naminé all but running over to the table, carrying a white plastic bag in her hand.

"Sorry! You haven't been waiting long, have you?"

I shook my head and smiled at her in what I hoped was a reassuring sort of way. "Only about five minutes. Don't worry about it."

The girl sighed and slumped down into her chair with a heavy sigh. "I actually wanted to get here early, but I got sidetracked on the way." She patted the bag on the floor beside her and blushed slightly. "The art supply store was having a good sale. I just couldn't resist."

I laughed and shrugged. "Understandable."

She gave me a big smile and turned her attention to the barista, who was just returning with my iced Chai. The waitress cast a forlorn look at Naminé and took her order with an annoyed frown on her face. It was aggravating, and any kindness I had felt toward the girl vanished as I watched her walk away. I felt like telling her that she hadn't had a chance to begin with, but decided to play the gentleman and kept my mouth shut.

"_So_," Naminé started, pulling me out of my thoughts. She quickly fixed the hem of her white sundress before she continued. "How have you been lately? It feels like it's been forever since I last saw you."

"It's only been three days," I muttered, "but I've been okay. My parents have been great and haven't asked any questions, which is surprising because my mom is usually the queen of gossip."

Naminé laughed and shook her head. "Aren't _all_ moms like that? Especially when it comes to their own children." She made a small face of disgust. "My mom was the worst. I promised myself I'll never be like that when I have kids."

"Everyone always says that, yet they turn out more like their parents than they ever thought they would. They _are_ the ones you learn from, after all."

She shrugged. "Oh, well."

I snorted and took a long drink of my cold drink. "How's Roxas?"

I didn't fail to miss the way she briefly flinched before she replaced the action with her usual happy smile. "He's great. Everyone's great."

"Of course they are," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Now why don't you tell me the truth?"

Naminé sighed and her shoulders slumped just slightly. "Well, he's in a relationship…with another guy. It's a good relationship, a healthy one, and one he really needs. I'm happy for him. He deserves to be happy. And his boyfriend is great. A little…flamboyant and over the top, but great. He's the complete opposite of Roxas, which is good. They always say that opposites attract, right?"

I watched her closely while she talked and wasn't surprised to see that her happiness for Roxas wasn't faked. She was genuinely happy that her friend was happy, even though it was with someone other than her. Gods, why couldn't I feel the same way? Why couldn't _Kairi_ feel the same way?

For a brief moment I wondered what they were doing right at that moment. Was the wedding over yet? Were they already off on their honeymoon, or was the reception still in progress? Destiny Islands was four hours behind Radiant Garden time, and I didn't feel like doing the math so I could only guess.

I also couldn't help but wonder if Sora was happy with his decision, or if he was regretting it with every ounce of his being. For some reason, Kairi struck me as the kind of person who would reveal her true colors once the wedding vows were said and their commitment was written in the books. That's just the evil bitch that she was.

A pale hand waved in front of my face. I blinked and jumped out of my thoughts to see Naminé staring at me with a thoughtful look on her face.

"You were zoning out," she stated.

I shrugged and took a sip from my cup, staring at the random people who walked past the window.

"You were thinking about the wedding, weren't you?"

I shrugged again, and she sighed.

"You're difficult, you know that? I just want to help you. I'm here to give you company, to try and help you get through today without throwing yourself off a building or something, and yet you keep yourself locked away. You agreed to meet up, remember? This wasn't a one-way thing."

I sighed and ran a hand back through my bangs, tucking a few strands of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail behind my ears. "I know I'm difficult, I know why you're here, and I know that it wasn't a one-way thing. I just don't know what you want me to say. You want me to say that I was thinking about him? Yes, I was. You want me to say that I was thinking about the wedding? Fine. You want me to say that I was hoping that he was realizing how wrong his decision to marry Kairi was about now? Well, you caught me. What else can I say?"

Grumbling annoyances under my breath, I took another long sip from my cup and refused to look at her face. I could only imagine what she was thinking. Probably that I was a complete and utter asshole and there was no way that she could help me. Hell, she was probably wondering why she had even thought she could help me in the first place. I know that I would have been.

I was surprised, though, when I heard her sigh and a gentle hand was placed over one of mine. I blinked and looked up at her with a furrowed brow, frowning when I saw her smiling sadly.

"Will you go for a walk with me? It's getting stuffy in here."

I nodded slowly, still frowning and now wondering more than ever what the hell was going on inside that head of hers. There was no telling. I was usually good at reading people, but Naminé was completely closed off to me. Usually that would have made me cautious, but there was just something about Naminé that called out to me.

I followed Naminé when she stood and walked to the bar. I wanted to ask her where we were going to go, but we paid for our drinks in silence and headed out the door, the only noise between us being the small jingling of the bells as the door opened and closed behind us. When she started to walk in the direction of the beach, I followed close behind.

We walked the entire way to the beach without saying a word to one another. It wasn't until Namine picked a place for us to sit that she turned to me with a smile on her face. I gave her my usual reaction. I frowned.

"Will you do something for me?" she muttered.

I furrowed my brow, but nodded, albeit reluctantly.

She smiled and pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them close to herself. "I want you to tell me about yourself." I opened my mouth to say something, but she cut me off with a fierce frown. "And I don't want to hear any excuses. You know everything about me, and I want to help you. I can't help you when all I know about you is that you're in love with your best friend who is currently getting or just got married to the wicked bitch of Radiant Garden. It's not enough."

I sighed and grumbled quietly. "There's not much to tell," I muttered.

She shrugged. "And does it look like I care? I want to know so I can help you. Not only that, but I want to be your friend. Not just one that you'll forget about when you decide to go back to Radiant Garden, but one that you'll keep at heart forever. I like you, Riku, and I care about you far too much for some random person I met on the bus ride here."

"Naminé…" I warned.

She sighed. "I don't mean in a romantic way. Just friendly. I consider you a good friend, and I want you to think the same of me. I trusted you enough to tell you my story after only being on the bus with you for a day. Don't you trust me enough by now?"

"I don't know where to start," I whispered.

She smiled and reached toward me to brush a few strands of my hair out of my face. "Start with when you first met Sora. I think that's the point where your life really started, so it's as good a point as any."

Nodding, I took a deep breath and started to tell a story that was long overdue.

TBC…  
---------------------------------------------------------------  
A/N: So this chapter just goes to show how much more involved Nam is going to be in the story than I originally planned for her to be. That's not a bad thing, though. I like her character, and Riku desperately needed someone who understood him so he could let out his feelings. And I just realized that I gave Riku my own personality. _::sighs::_ Oh, well. That usually tends to happen...

Anyway...thanks a TON to those who reviewed last chapter. You guys are amazing and I love you!...

Sorry for any typos. I edited, but yeah... We all know how that goes...

Until next chapter...adieu...


	6. Reminiscence

Sorry it took so long!! Bleh...I managed to catch a bad case of writer's block by the time I wrote a little more than a page. So, I wrote pretty much all of this chapter yesterday, and I'm quite happy with it... I used different dividers in this chapter than the usual quotation marks because it's switching between Riku telling his story to Nam, and then showing some of her reactions to what she hears. _::sighs::_ I hope it's not too confusing...

Yeah…I know… The third chapter was titled Reminiscence too, but I went back and changed it, so…_::sticks out tongue::_… Hehe… Now the title for three (Goodbye) fits much better with what happened in that chapter, and Reminiscence hits this chapter's contents right on the nail…

And, I dunno if any of you caught this, but I mentioned that Roxas and Axel were going to be ushers in the wedding back in the first chapter… That's because I wrote that chapter pretty close to a year ago and forgot to change it once I started working on the story again and changed Axel and Roxas' roles in the story. So yeah… Tidus and Wakka have now been given the usher positions in the wedding… Hehe… Sorry if I made any of you slip a little "WTF?" while you were reading…

Anyway…I hope you enjoy reading a short retelling of how Riku met Sora and all that good stuff…

Enjoy!!…

WARNINGS: language…

**Disclaimer:** the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney…

**Part Six:  
Reminiscence…**

_She smiled and reached toward me to brush a few strands of my hair out of my face. "Start with when you first met Sora. I think that's the point where your life really started, so it's as good a point as any."_

_Nodding, I took a deep breath and started to tell a story that was long overdue._

""

I know that it's one of the most overused clichés in the book, but I remember the first time I saw Sora as if it were yesterday. I was five-years-old at the time, patiently awaiting my sixth birthday. It's funny because even back then I wasn't a patient person. I knew that it was two days until my birthday and I was starting to get cranky. I wanted my presents and I wanted my cake and ice cream and I wanted them when I asked for them or else I was going to get pissy.

I saw Sora in the middle of one of my pissy moods. I had begged and begged my mom to give me one present—just _one_ little present—but she had refused. In response, I stormed out of the house and headed for my favorite place to just sit and chill out. My tree house. Juvenile? Yes, but I was only five. There really wasn't anywhere else for me to go.

I remember goose-stepping across the backyard and climbing the rope ladder up into the tree house. There was plenty up there to keep me occupied. I had a small table, bed, and television; enough of the necessities for whenever I wanted to sleep out there instead of in my bedroom. I even had a little cupboard that my mom kept stocked with junk food.

Grumbling under my breath, I went to the cupboard and pulled out a candy bar to munch on. I viciously tore off the paper and settled down in the little window seat that faced my neighbors' yard. No one had lived there since I had been born, but I liked to watch the gardener whenever he mowed the lawn and tended to the flowers so the house would look nice for any prospective buyers.

It was my turn to be surprised that day, though, because it wasn't a gardener that I saw in the backyard. It was a little boy, along with his mom, dad, and dog. I couldn't really tell anything about the boy, other than the fact that he had brown hair and liked to hug his dog a lot. He was strange to me, but for some reason I couldn't stop watching him. Not that I really cared about that when I was five. Watching him just gave me something to do, and it made me forget about my grumpiness.

I don't know how long I sat there and watched the boy play fetch with his dog, but by the time I decided to go back into the house, Mom was almost done with dinner and she greeted me with a smile from her place in front of the stove.

Needless to say, by the time the weekend came and dragged my birthday party along with it, I had completely forgotten about the other little boy and his family. I woke up that Saturday with a smile on my face and excitedly ran into the kitchen to hug my mom and exclaim that it was finally my birthday over and over again. She fixed me a special breakfast of French toast and then sent me away to take a bath and get ready for my party.

By the time I was out of the bath and had pulled on the outfit Mom had laid out on my bed, guests had already started to arrive. I didn't waste a moment. I ran downstairs, turned into the kitchen, and ran straight out the back door.

There wasn't any kind of special set-up. It looked like the set-up for any other five-year-old's birthday party. There was a table set up with munchy foods and a smaller table set up that was already starting to fill with presents. It took all of my willpower, which wasn't very much, for me to not run over to the table and start tearing through the gifts. Well, all of my willpower and the fact that I knew my mom would bust my ass if I messed anything up.

So, instead of going on a rampage through the presents, I started to search the yard for my friends. I didn't have many friends, but I knew that the few I did have were there. It didn't take long to find them. Tidus and Wakka almost fell out of my tree house window in their excitement to wish me a happy birthday when they spotted me. I was almost knocked onto the ground when Selphie tackled me and squeezed me so tight that I swear my heart stopped beating for a second. When Selphie decided to let me breathe again, I didn't have time to run away before she grabbed onto my hand and started to drag me to the ladder that led up into my tree house, ultimately Tidus and Wakka.

I was saved by my mom halfway to the ladder. She smiled sweetly at Selphie, her green eyes shining, and asked politely if she could borrow me for a minute. The brunette girl pouted for a moment, then released me with a smile that was too large to be human. I grabbed onto the hand my mom held out to me and let myself be dragged away to Lord knows where, but I didn't care. I was just glad to be away from Selphie for the time being. I would have never in a million years guessed where she was taking me because, if I had, maybe my life wouldn't have turned out to be as complicated as it did.

I swear that it felt like everything happened in slow motion. Mom managed to push through the wall of grown-ups who had gathered around the food tables, dragging me helplessly behind her. And if angels could have made their song known to all, I think they would have done it then because standing there, clinging tightly to his mother with his back turned to everyone, was the little brunet boy I had spied on just a few days before. I tried to pull out of my mom's grasp, really I did, but her grip around my wrist was too tight. The only chance I had to make an escape was the brief second between her releasing my hand and grabbing onto my shoulder, but I wasn't quick enough.

Mom crouched down onto her knees beside me and pulled me close, making sure to keep her hand tight on my shoulder. I think she knew that I wanted to get away, and my mom being the evil woman that she was born as, wasn't going to let me get off easily.

"Riku, honey, I'd like you to meet Sora. He and his parents are going to be living next door from now on. Isn't that wonderful?" The tight squeeze she gave my shoulder made sure that I nodded with extra enthusiasm before she had to do something drastic.

The woman I guessed to be Sora's mother smiled and patted the boy gently on the shoulder. Even now, I think I remember having to hold back a gasp when he turned around. He was so…so…just so _everything_. And I had never seen eyes that blue in my entire six years of existence. He looked like one of the angels I learned about when Mom had her strange urges to pull me off to church with her. Almost immediately, I had the urge to make him my friend.

But, of course, my mouth didn't feel like listening to my brain because the first thing that came out of my mouth was: "You look like a girl."

The moment the words left my mouth, Sora's eyes filled up with tears and he buried his face in his mom's dress. Not really seeing the problem within my words, I watched the boy carefully. Until my mom smacked across the back of the head, that is. Then, I let out a rather undignified yelp and turned to glare at her. Her response was a glare that was just as fierce as my own.

"That was mean! You need to apologize, Riku!"

I sighed and grumbled quietly beneath my breath, knowing that I would be in for it if I didn't. "I'm sorry, Sora," I muttered. "Do you want to come play with me and my friends in the tree house?"

It took a minute, but he slowly pulled away from his mom and wiped his tears away on the sleeve of his shirt. "Can I really?" His voice was so small that I had to strain my ears to hear it.

I nodded and smiled. "Of course you can!"

He returned the smile and finally separated himself from his mom to run to my side. "Can I, Momma?"

The brunette woman nodded. "Have fun!"

Sora giggled, and I grabbed onto his hand and led the way to the tree house. Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie took easily to the new boy and he was immediately let into our "circle" without a qualm or complaint from any of us…

**o-o-o**

"And so it began…" I said with a sigh.

Naminé giggled and pulled my attention onto her. She smiled at me sweetly. "You told him that he looked like a girl?!" she asked with an incredulous laugh. "Nice way to break the ice, Riku."

I rolled my eyes and reclined back onto the ground, putting my arms behind my head as a pillow. "Give me a break. I was only six. It's not like I was really old enough to know that he wouldn't take it as a compliment."

"Would _you_ have taken it as a compliment at that age?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. Probably not, but it's not like I was really thinking 'Hm, how would I feel if someone told me I looked like a girl?' I was only _six_!"

She giggled again. "Yeah, yeah. I know. I just wanted a chance to mess with you." She stuck her tongue out when I glared at her. "So sue me."

I shook my head and closed my eyes, breathing in the refreshing sea air I had missed for so long. A nice silence hung between the two of us for a while, but I knew that Naminé wouldn't be able to stand it for too long. She broke it after a couple of minutes with a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong?" I muttered, not bothering to open my eyes.

"Tell me more!" I opened one eye to look at her and she smiled sheepishly. "Please?"

I sighed and opened both of my eyes. "Fine, but only because I know that if I don't do it now, you'll never be able to hear it."

She smiled and propped her chin on her fists expectantly. I laughed and closed my eyes, sinking back into the darkness of my memories.

**o-o-o**

For the next five years, Sora and I went everywhere together. We were inseparable. I don't know how or when our small connection as neighbors turned into us being best friends, but I never had any complaints. Though I had been friends with Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie since the four of us had been in diapers, I had never felt such a connection with them. If anything, we had grown apart over time, but I was okay with it because I had Sora and that was all that mattered.

Over the years, Sora had changed from the little boy who cried easily into a preteen who almost never had anything to frown about. He was _always _smiling, and his smiles were addicting. Very rarely did I ever find myself not smiling around him, no matter what mood I was in. He had also grown taller, though he would never catch up to me, and his hair had gotten even spikier, if that was possible.

I had also changed over the years. I don't know if it was because of maturity or what, but I stopped being such a pain in the ass for my mom. It may have been because Sora told me one too many times that I shouldn't be so mean to my mom. Whatever it was, I was glad to have made the change. I was still a bad ass around school, though. I had a reputation to live up to, after all.

Sixth grade would be the year that would change our friendship, in some ways for the better and in others for the worst. Heading off to sixth grade meant that we would be going off to middle school, where we would know hardly anyone. Neither of us was too afraid, though, because we knew that we had each other for support if anything went wrong.

Needless to say, Sora was just as optimistic as always as we strode through the ominous double doors and entered the school. I was just as stoic as ever, walking with my hands in my pockets and a cold look on my face. Sora, on the other hand, was practically skipping down the hall and offered a cheerful "Hello!" to anyone who bothered to look our way.

Yeah, yeah, everything sounds nice now, but it wasn't until lunch that everything changed. Why lunch? Because lunch was when a certain red-head decided to claim a seat at our table and force herself into our lives. Okay, so she didn't necessarily _force_ herself into our lives, since we were both willing to make a new friend. I just wish that I had known just how evil Kairi could get back then so I could have saved myself some pain later on down the road.

Kairi really _did_ fit into our group, though. She related the most to Sora, seeing as they were both only eleven and two of the youngest in our class, but she fit in so well because she was able to understand us and we were able to understand her. Or so I thought, but that comes later.

Life moved smoothly until freshman year. I don't know where I came from or what had caused it, but I was hit head-on by a bout of depression that refused to let me go. I never wanted to do anything aside from lie in bed all day in my bedroom with my black-out shades pulled, but I forced myself to move forward everyday and go to school and spend time with Sora and Kairi. Even then, my grades started to slip and I slept through almost every class, the tiredness brought on by the lack of sleep I got at night because of recurring panic attacks.

Once Sora caught on, he practically lived at my house. My parents didn't know how to handle my depression, so Sora was the only one who kept me going. He made sure that we sat at the kitchen table everyday after school until all of our homework was done and he made sure that I ate three decent meals a day. At night, he slept on my floor until I started to have panic attacks. Then, he would crawl into bed with me and hold me tight until I fell back to sleep. Some nights were better than others, but the only time I ever got a decent amount of sleep was when he slept with me.

It was because of my apathy toward everything for nearly two years that I didn't notice Kairi's growing jealousy until it was too late. Even when they started to date, Sora was always at my house. Sometimes Kairi would come over and do homework with us, but most of the time she didn't. She and Sora went on dates, of course, but Sora was always home at a decent time to make sure that I ate something before I went to bed.

And I know it sounds like my parents were crap and practically handed me over to Sora, but that's not the truth. They did everything they could for me. They took me to the doctor and put me on medicine, but I never remembered to take it. Mom made dinner for me every night, but didn't have the energy to force me to eat it like Sora did. Mom and Dad tried to get me to talk to them—to tell them what they should do to make me better—but I never said anything. I never really talked to Sora, either, so it's not like I was shutting them out or anything. I just didn't know why I was the way that I was. I just _was_, and it was no use to tell them that because they just wouldn't understand.

I thought many times about killing myself back then. There were also a couple of times when I scared the shit out of Sora because I had a knife to my wrist when he walked into my bedroom. He freaked out, of course. The first time he caught me, he ran into the room and smacked me so hard that the knife slipped out of my hand. Then he held me and cried…and cried…and cried. He cried every time he found me like that, but his tears never really registered in my mind. I was too numb to feel anything.

The day the darkness finally decided to release me was the best and worst day of my life. Sora had gone out on a date with Kairi, promising to be back by ten before he ran out the door, so I was home with my parents. For some reason while I sat alone in my bedroom I got the urge to go over to the island we had frequented before I had been swallowed whole. And so I did. The walk to the docks was long and the row across the ocean was even longer, but it was worth it.

I wandered the small island for a while and took some time so soak up memories before I took my spot on my favorite fallen Paopu tree. I sat on the hard bark and stared at the horizon for hours. The only thing that circled through my thoughts was Sora. I kept thinking about how much he had been there for me over the past two years, and I had repaid him with nothing but apathy. He was so kind, too kind for his own good. He had even sacrificed his relationship with Kairi to help me.

My mind wandered back to the first time we had met at my birthday more eleven years before. I thought about all of his smiles and the way his eyes sparked with intensity whenever he was feeling strongly about something. I thought about all the times I had made him cry—it had to have been more times that I had made him smile. And then I came to a realization.

The first drop against my cheek came as a surprise. I lifted a hand and touched it to my face, staring at the tear that clung to my fingertip for a couple of seconds before I let them take me over. The sobs were so painful that it felt like they were tearing me apart from the inside. My hand clung to my shirt over my heart as if to hold myself together. And so I cried…and cried…and cried.

When Sora found me about an hour later, I was still sobbing. The quiet gasp he probably let out never reached my ears, but I clung to him for dear life when he enveloped me in a hug and whispered quiet condolences into my ear. Slowly but surely, my sobs calmed and the tears stopped. I was exhausted, but I was painfully aware of how close he was and the gentle brush of his breath across my neck as he continued to hug me. And I still clung desperately to him. I was terrified to let go because I had come to the realization that I was in love with my best friend and that he would never accept it.

**o-o-o**

"Oh, sweetie." Naminé stroked my face gently and wiped away the tears that had started to fall. "I'm sure he would have accepted your feelings for him if you had only told him."

I shook my head and pushed myself up from the ground, wiping my tears away with a sandy and slightly sunburned arm. "No. You didn't see his face the night that I kissed him. He was so…" I sighed. "I dunno. Hurt? Betrayed? Whatever it was, it most definitely wasn't a look that said that he could deal with my feelings for him."

Naminé sighed and cocked her head to the side. "And how do you know that? You ran away before he had the chance to really talk to you. How would you have reacted if you were getting ready to be married and you made-out with your best friend? Willingly and _in a bath tub_, might I add."

"Even if he was able to accept my feelings for him, he still would have married Kairi and I would have lived in a constant state of torment." I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair. "It's better that I just left before he had the chance to talk to me."

Naminé rolled her eyes. "You boys make no sense at all!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms into the air. "You and Roxas just need to stop being emo and get over yourselves. Life is just too short to waste agonizing over everything."

I furrowed my brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean that you need to talk to Sora. Stop ignoring his phone calls. Trust me." The way she looked at me told me that I didn't have choice.

I sighed. "If everything goes to Hell, I'm blaming you," I grumbled.

She laughed. "I can live with that. Now…" She stood, brushing the sand from the back of her dress, and checked her watch. "It's only four. How about you come over to the house to meet everyone? I'll fix a yummilicious dinner, I promise!"

I wanted to argue, but I knew that I owed her at least that much. "What about the rest?"

She shrugged. "I think you've torn yourself into enough pieces for one day. Maybe another time? If not, then I'm honored to have been told that much."

"Yeah," I said and pushed myself up from the ground. "Where's Roxas live, anyway?"

She grabbed her bag of art supplies up from the ground and pointed down the beach. "It's not far from here, actually. He has a condo on the beach so we can get there from here."

I nodded and followed her when she started to walk, barely taking notice when she grabbed my hand. It was nice to have a girl friend, especially someone like Naminé who could relate to the problems of being in love with your best friend. She was the complete opposite of Kairi, and I knew that I was thankful to have met her, much less become so close to her in such a short amount of time.

We walked in silence for about ten minutes before Naminé turned and started to walk toward a long boardwalk and the stairs that led up to it from the beach. I almost gasped when I looked up and took in the size of the house, but then I remembered that Roxas' parents were loaded and the shock wore off.

"He compensating for something?" I muttered as we walked up the stairs.

Naminé gasped and punched me playfully on the shoulder. "A lot of people live in this house, and I mean _a lot_. Tonight's gonna be a good night, though. I think it's only going to be Roxas, Axel, Demyx, Zexion, and the two of us. There's upwards of ten people on a bad night." She laughed. "It gets crazy."

I laughed. "I can imagine. Must be like a constant party, or something."

"Yeah, or something," she said dismally. "It's hard to concentrate and work when there's so many people in the house. And when I try to come out onto the boardwalk they eventually invade the space out there too. It's aggravating," she sighed and smiled, "but I wouldn't trade it for the world."

I chuckled and followed her up the stairs to the house.

"Yo, Naminé! Who's your friend?"

I jumped and looked up, surprised to see a blonde guy with a mohawk (or was it a mullet) sitting in one of the lounge chairs with a cigarette between his lips. He smiled cheerfully and waved. I must have looked like I hadn't had a good cigarette in a few days because he laughed and held his pack out to me.

"Want one? They're peppermint or some shit like that. Not half bad, though."

I sighed heavily and took one of the cigarettes. The first drag was like heaven, and the peppermint aftertaste was different but it didn't matter. It was nicotine and that's all that I cared about.

"Lemme guess. You're the Riku guy Naminé's been telling us about?" I nodded and he laughed. "You look like a girl."

I glared, but didn't use a verbal retort. I was well aware of my androgyny. Sora had pointed it out when I first started to grow my hair as payback for the first time we had met.

"It's nice to finally meet you, anyway." He held out his hand. "I'm Demyx. Zexion is somewhere in the house, probably taking a shower or something. Roxas and Axel went…somewhere. They should be back soon, though."

I took another drag from the cigarette and took the offered hand. "Well, you already know that I'm Riku, so…" I shrugged.

Demyx laughed and snuffed his cigarette out in the bucket of sand beside his chair. When he settled down again, he grabbed the acoustic guitar that was resting against the house beside him. He strummed it slowly and a pretty chord echoed across the quiet beach.

Naminé chuckled quietly. "I'll let you boys bond. I'm gonna go start dinner."

Demyx perked up at the mention of food. "Ooh! Whatcha makin'?"

She frowned thoughtfully, then smiled. "Dunno. You'll find out when it's ready."

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter. You make the best food." He looked at me and smiled as Naminé walked into the house. "Seriously, where has she been all this time? A year of living in a house with all guys… Needless to say it's been nothing but take-out for the past few months."

I laughed. "I can only imagine."

I settled down into the free chair beside Demyx and took a drag from my cigarette as the blonde started to play a slow song on his guitar. Soon he was singing, and I closed my eyes to drown in the music. I liked this guy. He was nice, laid back, and had fed my nicotine craving. If the others were half as calm as him, I had a feeling I was going to like this place.

TBC…  
**----------------------------------------------------------  
**A/N: A longer chapter…_::dances::_… Yup! Two pages longer to be exact. Yayness! Hehe… I know the glimpse into Riku's past with Sora probably wasn't too insightful, but…_::shrugs::_… I think that it works. Now everyone knows how they met, when Kairi came into the picture, and how everyone handled Riku's difficult bout of depression. We also got the chance to see how he felt when he realized he was in love with his best friend. Good times…

I like my Demyx. Hehe. He could totally be a stoner, not that he is. Hell…it's probably those damn peppermint cigarettes. They make your head all loopy and it feels like it's three times its normal size. WHOA! LoL…

Anywho…I'm excited to finally get Roxas and the gang into the fic. It took long enough, huh? _::sighs::_ Hopefully peaceful atmosphere will hold up once Roxas and Axel get back from wherever the hell they ran off to. But who knows?…

Thanks for everyone who reviewed the last chapter!! _::hugs to everyone:: _You're all amazing and I love you. I dunno what I would do without you…

As always, sorry for any typos…and, until next chapter, adieu…


	7. Meetings

Hm…how much angstier can Riku get just by having one simple, little talk with Roxas? Guess we're gonna find out, huh? Hehe…

Enjoy!!…

WARNINGS: language…

**Disclaimer: **the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney…

**Part Seven:  
Meetings…**

I sat on the porch listening to Demyx play the guitar and sing for what felt like hours. While his vocal skills could have used some improvement, the guy knew how to play the guitar beautifully. He played a few songs that seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn't put a name to them.

He paused in his playing a couple of times for a smoke break and the two of us would talk. It was never about anything important, usually just music, but it was nice to have a new acquaintance.

"I wonder what trouble Roxas and Axel managed to get into this time," he muttered once he had quit playing for the time being.

I frowned and cocked my head to the side. "Do they get into trouble often?"

The blonde laughed and exhaled a large plume of smoke. "Not often, but when they do it's usually for something good. The gods know how many times they've been kicked out of places for indecent exposure or something to that effect. It's usually Axel's fault, but I've never heard Roxas complain." He winked at me and I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud.

"Seems like Roxas has changed since the last time I saw him," I muttered.

Demyx sighed and slouched down in his chair. "People move on and change. It's not uncommon. How long has it been anyway? Since you last saw him, I mean."

I shrugged. "Since the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college." I closed my eyes and added up the years. "So…about three or four years now. He was still pretty much a loner back then. He didn't like people much."

Demyx laughed heartily. "Well, at least that hasn't changed much," he said. "He still doesn't take well to large crowds and sometimes I can tell that he gets uncomfortable when it's a full house. It gets crazy when all fourteen of us are here."

"Fourteen people live here?! That's insane."

He shook his head. "Only four…no, five live here now. The others just float in sometimes for dinner or a party or something." He laughed. "And I agree with you. It is insane. I would kill if all of us lived in the same house, and I'm a people person."

"Stop scaring the new guy, Demyx."

I jumped at the new, cold voice and looked around to see who it was, but Demyx and I were the only ones on the porch. No one was walking up the steps either.

"Aw, you take the fun out of everything, Zexy," Demyx pouted.

I turned to look at the blonde and noticed that he was looking up. I followed his lead and saw a shadow moving around up on the porch above us. The sound of a door closing echoed through the air and Demyx laughed.

"Was that Zexion?" It was a stupid question, seeing that the only other person in the house besides him was Naminé, but it slipped out before I could say otherwise.

Demyx nodded. "Yeah." A dreamy smile flitted across his face and let me know that there was more to their relationship than friendship.

"You're with him?"

He nodded again. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

I shrugged. "Your face. The smile on your face when you were talking about him couldn't have meant anything else."

He smiled again and hugged himself. "I can't help it. He's great."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "So is everyone who lives here gay?"

"Naminé isn't," he said and his dreamy smile quickly turned into a frown. "You got a problem with that or something?"

I started at the sudden venom in the blonde's voice and opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. I was getting desperate when a different voice answered for me.

"No, he doesn't have a problem with it."

I sighed and smiled gratefully at Naminé, who stood in the doorway. She returned the smile and tucked a few strands of the hair that had fallen from her messy ponytail back behind her ears, keeping her eyes locked on Demyx as if to dare him to counter.

"If I had a problem with it, I wouldn't be here in the first place," I muttered dourly to emphasize her point.

Demyx opened his mouth and was probably about to ask what I meant when a new voice exploded across the air and shattered the slightly tense atmosphere.

"A new guy!"

I furrowed my brow and looked toward the stairs to see two more people making their way up. One I immediately recognized as Roxas. He still had the same blonde spikey hair, though it would never be as spikey as Sora's, and brooding blue eyes. I could only guess that the other was Axel. His appearance was shocking, but not in the bad way. He had long-ish, vibrant red hair and deep green eyes that sparked with intensity. He had tattoos beneath each of his eyes, and I couldn't help but flinch when I thought about how much they must have hurt.

"Shut up, Axel," Roxas muttered under his breath when they finally made it to the porch.

The redhead frowned and punched the blonde playfully on the shoulder. "I was just sayin'…" He turned and looked at me—_really_ looked at me—and started slightly. "Hey, and he's pretty!"

This resulted in Axel being punched in the arm by Roxas, though his punch wasn't quite as playful as the redhead's had been. Axel pouted and held his arm, but Roxas ignored him. Instead, he nodded at me and his lips twitched upwards in the barest hint of a smile.

"Riku."

I nodded and returned the small smile. "Roxas. It's been a while."

He smiled again, a real smile this time that seemed to make his face light up. "It has. How's So…" He paused and seemed to think for a minute before he shook his head. "How've you been?"

I shrugged, silently thankful that he had caught himself. "As good as can be expected, I guess. What about you?"

"Same as always."

I laughed and Roxas smiled. Axel didn't seem to take too well to not being the center of attention because he stepped forward and draped an arm across the blonde's shoulders.

"That's Roxas. He's always so dark and broody." He poked Roxas on the cheek, receiving a glare from the blonde which he ignored. "But that's what I love about him."

I snorted and glanced at Naminé out of the corner of my eye to judge her reaction to seeing the two together. When I saw her face, I smiled. There was no mirth in her expression, just pure happiness that I could tell wasn't faked. It was too genuine to be a façade.

Roxas managed to pull himself out of the redhead's grasp and squeezed past Naminé into the house. I didn't miss the small smile he gave her as he passed her. It was one of those secret smiles that were only shared between two people who were close to one another.

Axel sighed loudly and hoisted himself up so he was sitting on the railing of the deck. I couldn't help but send a glance downward, hoping that the redhead wouldn't fall. We were easily twenty feet up from the ground. A fall from that height would cause a rather painful death.

"So, Ri_ku_," Axel said, emphasizing the last syllable of my name like a child. "Where'd you come from? And how do you know my Roxy?"

"Axel!" Naminé hissed from the doorway.

Axel shrugged and I laughed, glancing at Naminé briefly to let her know that it was alright.

"I came from Radiant Garden," I explained. "I grew up here so I came back to see my parents. And I know Roxas because he's my best friend's cousin. We used to play together when he would visit the Islands when we were younger."

Axel eyed me critically, but after a minute or two seemed to be happy with my response because he smiled and nodded. "Well, any friend of Roxas' is a friend of mine. Just keep your hands to yourself." He gave me a dark look. "I like to play with fire. Got it memorized?"

I was a little perturbed by his words but nodded nonetheless. I hadn't come here with any intention of dating Roxas, so I don't know why Axel was acting that way. Well, he did seem like the overprotective type, but still… Naminé was right when she had first told me about him. Axel was definitely flamboyant and over the top. He would take some getting used to.

"Anyway," Demyx muttered awkwardly, "how long are you planning on staying on the Islands, Riku?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. I'll probably stay for the rest of the summer, maybe longer. Who knows? I'll leave whenever I get the itch to move on."

"Understandable," Demyx said as he nodded and pulled another cigarette from his pack on the table between us. Axel coughed quietly, and Demyx laughed as he pulled out a second for the redhead.

The two smoked in silence, and I had to keep kicking myself to control my urge for nicotine. I hadn't brought a pack with me from the Islands and I didn't want to smoke too much while I was there because I knew that Mom absolutely hated cigarettes. Even thought I was twenty-two, she didn't know that I smoked. I was afraid to see her reaction when she found out.

Roxas came back outside after a few minutes, followed by an emo looking guy with blue-silver hair that I could only guess was Zexion. Zexion pulled a chair up beside Demyx, while Roxas glared at Axel and the cigarette he held before he pulled it from the redhead's fingers and threw it over the edge of the deck.

"Hey!" Axel whined. "That was mean."

Roxas shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest, resting his back against the post beside where Axel was sitting. "And you're still smoking after I've asked you to quit for the past couple of months."

Axel pouted and I couldn't help but laugh in my head. It reminded me of my and Sora's constant argument. After not making any progress after a year or so, Sora had finally given up, but my smoking used to be something that we would fight about everyday.

"Hey, Naminé," Roxas said.

"Just a second," the girl called from inside the house, followed by the clinking and clanking of pots in the kitchen. She came outside after a couple of minutes, drying her hands on a towel. "Yeah?"

Roxas smiled. "How long 'til the food's done?"

Naminé furrowed her brow and stared into Roxas' eyes. She must have found what she had been looking for because a small smile quirked at the corners of her lips and she shrugged.

"We still have about an hour or so. Why?"

Roxas shrugged and turned his eyes onto me. "I want to spend a little time catching up with Riku." The look in his eyes dared me to refuse. "It's been a while since the last time we talked."

I nodded. "That'd be nice."

He smiled and nodded, pushing himself away from the pillar he had been leaning against. Axel started to swing down from the railing but Roxas turned to him with a glare.

"I want to talk to Riku…alone."

Axel frowned, but a serious look crossed his face and he nodded as he settled himself back down on the railing. "Just don't take too long or I might have to hunt you down."

Roxas rolled his eyes, but I didn't miss his smile. "Holler when dinner's ready, okay?"

Naminé nodded and Roxas beckoned me with a nod of his head. I quickly stood from my chair to follow him down the stairs. I wasn't sure where we were going or what he wanted to talk to me about, but I made sure to keep my silence when we walked down the boardwalk and down the second set of steps to the beach. I was surprised when I followed him under the end of the deck. There was enough room down there to stand and two lawn chairs had been set up so whoever sat under there didn't have to sit in the sand.

Roxas took one of the chairs and held his hand out to the other. "Take a seat."

I nodded, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in the back of my throat. Why did I suddenly feel like I was going to be interrogated? And why did Roxas suddenly seem like the most intimidating person on the face of the earth? I swallowed the questions along with the lump and took a seat, trying to hide my nervousness to no avail.

Roxas laughed and rolled his eyes. "You're acting like I'm going to kill you," he said with another laugh. "I just wanted to catch up away from everyone else. They talk too much, and Axel would ask too many questions."

I sighed and felt the tension flee from my body. "Sorry, you were just acting like you were leading me to death row or something."

He snorted. "Yeah. Welcome to my death row. It's hidden in a nice little niche beneath my deck where no one would ever guess to look."

I laughed and shook my head, glad to finally be faced with the Roxas I remembered.

"_So_…" It never meant anything good when a speaker drew out a word like that. And that smile didn't mean good things either. "…why don't you tell me why you're _really_ here. Axel may have fallen for your little story about wanting to see your parents, but I know you better than that. Now spill."

I sighed and closed my eyes as I slouched down into my chair. "There's not much to say."

Roxas groaned. "Oh, gods. What did Sora do this time?"

My eyes snapped open and I looked over at Roxas to see him smiling like a demon. Wonderful, I had fallen right into the clever bastard's trap.

"Ah-ha! So you _are _here because of something Sora did." He cocked his head to the side. "What did my oblivious cousin do this time?"

I snorted and shook my head. Roxas had picked up on my feelings for Sora the last time we had seen each other. He had come to Radiant Garden for a campus tour before he went to college and had stayed for a week. Needless to say, what the loner lacked in social skills he made up for in observance.

"He didn't?!" he gasped.

My eyes snapped open again, but this time it was to see that Roxas had a surprised look on his face.

"He's not getting married to that bitch, is he?" he muttered. My sigh was answer enough. "Oh, gods. That idiot. What is he thinking? I know that he can't be _that_ fucking blind."

I sighed quietly and ran a hand back through my hair. "I kissed him."

Roxas eyes widened and he almost fell out of his chair. "You _what_?!"

"I kissed him," I said with another sigh. "It was the night I left to come here. I hadn't been out of my apartment in a week because I was agonizing over everything, and he being typical Sora, forced his way in. He drew me a bath. You know, like we did when we were kids and we had a problem. He sat by the side of the tub and asked me over and over what my problem was and I was just so sick of lying, so I kissed him. And then he ran away so I decided it was better that I leave instead of stay."

"You left after you kissed him?" Roxas asked in disbelief. "Nice way to fuck with the boy's head, 'Ku."

I sighed. "What else could I have done? You expected me to stay there and suffer with his hatred everyday for the rest of my life?"

He snorted and rolled his eyes. "You think that he would hate you for that? Sora has _never _hated anyone. It's like the part of a person's brain that makes them hate completely malfunctioned when he was born."

"You didn't see the look in his eyes just before he ran away," I whispered.

"And let me guess… You haven't talked to him since then, have you?" I didn't answer and Roxas laughed. "You're an idiot."

I tried my hardest to glare at him, but it must have been pretty weak because he just shrugged it off. After talking to Naminé and just hearing Roxas' words, I was really starting to believe that maybe I had made a mistake, after all. I was just too afraid to pick up the phone and have to face what I had done, too afraid to have to face Sora.

"You need to talk to him."

I shook my head. "I can't do that."

Roxas sighed. "And why not? How hard is it to push that little green button whenever he calls you? Because I _know_ that he's called, and I _know_ that you ignored every single one. You probably haven't even checked your voicemail, have you?"

I closed my eyes. "I just _can't_."

"And why not, Riku? Whether you're in love in love with him or not, you're his best friend. You didn't expect him to just up and forget about you, did you? You should know better than that. I wouldn't be surprised if Sora postponed the entire wedding just so he could look for you. And even then the idiot still wouldn't realize that he was in love with you because he's just too dense."

I started and looked at Roxas with a furrowed brow. The blonde just smiled at me innocently and cocked his head to the side.

"What did you say?"

He sighed. "You're both morons. You've been in love with Sora for the past five years of your life and have done nothing but live in angst and emoness because you were too afraid to let him find out. And he's been in love with you for the gods know how long, but he's just too…too Sora to realize it." He sighed again. "You're both _morons_."

I was opening my mouth to retort, when Naminé's voice rang out over the quiet beach.

"Soup's on!"

Roxas smiled and stood from his chair. I copied him and followed him up onto the deck and up that stairs the lead to the house. Everyone was already inside fixing their plates, and it gave Roxas the perfect opportunity to stop outside the door and intervene with my emotions one more time before we sat down to eat.

"Next time he calls, you're going to answer you're phone," he said, and just like Naminé's earlier, his eyes seemed to say "Or else."

I nodded, but still wasn't sure if I was going to be able to keep up to that promise. It would be too difficult to hear Sora's voice again, and if it turned out that he returned my feelings by some miracle, then I would feel like the biggest idiot in history. Then there was always the chance that he was just calling me so he could tell me how sickened he was by me and that he was glad that I had left because he never wanted to see me again. The second scenario was the one that played through my mind the most and is what kept me from answer my phone.

When I came out of my thoughts Roxas was already walking inside. I kicked my flip-flops off beside the door and headed into the house to fix a plate. I had a feeling that this was going to be one of the most interesting dinners I had had in a long time.

TBC…  
**--------------------------------------------------  
**A/N: Hehe…yay for Axel and Roxas. LoL. I guess I wrote Axel as a more annoying character than I usually do, but I like him, just the same. He's all protective of Rox and stuff. And silly Roxas. He really knows how to shove it in someone's face, doesn't he? Not afraid to speak the truth…

Will Riku ever answer the phone when Sora calls? _::shrugs::_ Who knows? Hehe… It would be an interesting conversation, though I agree with Roxas that Sora could never really hate someone. Riku is just all angsty and emo, so he thinks the worst of everything…

Anywho…thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I'm glad that you liked the small little flashback into Riku's memories. Love and hugs to you all!!…

As always, sorry for any typos and stuff…

Until the next chapter, adieu…


	8. Dinner

So…now that I'm suffering from minor shock and ready to kill the DJ for playing Shop Boyz "Party Like a Rockstar" on my favorite rock station, I think I'm going to write. LoL. Seriously…what the WTF was up with that? And what self-respecting rockstar would say "Totally dude"? They're not Shaggy, for the gods sakes… No offense to anyone that likes that song!! _::hides::_...

Anywho…now that I'm done ranting (because I just _had_ to rant to someone) I guess I should start the chapter. Hehe…

Enjoy!…

WARNINGS: language…

**Disclaimer:**the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney…I don't own _Pan's Labyrinth_ either, though I'm not sure

**Part Eight:  
Dinner…**

Dinner was…different, to say the least. I was used to quaint, quiet dinners with nothing but the news flashing on the television to keep me company, so eating with five other people was something that could definitely constitute as different. It wasn't the bad kind of different, though. It was nice to sit with people my own age, with nothing but the quiet radio supplying background noise.

Naminé hadn't been lying when she had said that she would fix a "yummilicous" meal, and she most definitely lived up to her review from Demyx earlier in the day. The fajitas were made to perfection. The chicken, onions, and peppers had been fixed wonderfully and it was hard to stop eating, even though I was starting to get full by the time I finished my third one.

Demyx and Axel were quite the pair and ended up being the sole entertainment throughout the duration of dinner. One would randomly start to sing along with the song that was playing on the radio and the other would join in a couple of seconds later. It was quite amusing to see two grown men belting out the lyrics to a Backstreet Boys song. I even managed to catch Roxas laughing a couple of times, though I knew that he would deny it if I ever asked him about it.

It seemed that everyone was talking about something else at the table. I tried to listen to everyone, but one conversation blurred into another and I quickly lost track of what was going on. I was glad that Axel seemed to have gotten over his earlier distrust of me. He laughed and joked with me as if I had been his friend for years.

The only one who really didn't say a word while we ate was Zexion. I thought that it was kind of odd, but judging from his appearance I could guess that he was even more of a loner than Roxas had ever been. His hair color was surprising, since I had never seen anyone else with hair even moderately close to the color of mine before in my life. He seemed to make Demyx happy enough, though, so I could guess that he was a nice enough guy.

"So, Riku…"

I was jolted out of my thoughts to see Axel watching me with a small smile on his face. So much for thinking that he had gotten over his distrust of me. Either that, or he showed his like for people by constantly messing with them. That was plausible, seeing as how much he too joy in aggravating his boyfriend.

"Yeah?" I muttered, shoveling a fajita into my mouth.

Axel was about to answer when the table shook and he let out a loud yelp, glaring at his boyfriend. Roxas smiled and took over the conversation.

"Radiant Garden, huh?" he muttered, his lips twitching in a small smile when he looked at me. "I haven't been there in years. Remind me again what it's like."

I shrugged and took a moment to chew and swallow my mouthful of food before I answered him. "It's okay, I guess. It's always busy. I don't think that anyone there knows how to sit still. But I guess that's why it's famous, huh? The 'city that never sleeps' or whatever."

He nodded. "That's why I love the Islands so much. Unless you go too far inland on the bigger island, it's always peaceful and the beach is only a short walk away."

"Yeah, I'm glad I came back. I'm not much for the hustle and bustle of the city, but I never managed to get my ass to move back here after I graduated college. It was too much of a hassle, I guess."

He gave me a knowing smile that made me nervous. He opened his mouth to say something when Naminé suddenly stood from her chair and started to pick up dishes.

"Dessert anyone?" she said a little too loudly when we all looked at her in confusion. "I made banana nut cake. It's really yummy. I think we might have some ice cream too."

Axel laughed loudly. "Nope. No ice cream. Roxy and I…uh…_ate_ it all the other night." He smiled innocently. "Sorry."

Roxas groaned and slammed his head down on the table just as Naminé moved his plate away. A stunned silence echoed throughout the house for a second…then another…and then everyone erupted into laughter. Even Zexion started to laugh when Roxas sank down in his chair and tried to crawl under the table, only for Axel to grab him by the arm and heft him up into his lap. The redhead whispered something in Roxas' ear that made the blonde blush and punch him on the shoulder as hard as he could. Axel yelped and loosened his grip on Roxas. The blonde took that split second to jump out of Axel's lap and run upstairs, probably to lock himself away in his bedroom.

The laughter continued to ring throughout the house for a couple more seconds before everyone managed to catch their breath and get themselves under control. I was crying by the time I finished laughing. The pure shock and embarrassment that had been shown on Roxas' face and in his big blue eyes was so innocent and cute. The family resemblance between him and Sora at that moment had been uncanny.

"That was mean, Axel!" Naminé said, though it was obvious that she was only joking when you saw her wiping the tears from her face. "You really embarrassed him."

The flamboyant redhead shrugged and stood from his chair. "He's fine. He knows that I was just kidding." But a small flash behind his shining eyes said that he wasn't sure if Roxas really did know.

I gave Axel as small smile of encouragement when he walked past me on the way to the stairs and he returned it with a wink. Silence filled the house as everyone watched him walk away, and no one dared to talk until they heard his quiet knock on Roxas' bedroom door.

"Sometimes I really don't understand how Roxas can put up with him," Demyx said with a sigh. "I mean, Ax is my best friend so nothing against him or anything, but he's just so…so…"

"Flamboyant…outspoken…annoying …?" Zexion supplied.

Demyx laughed and nodded jubilantly at his boyfriend. "Yeah, that." He frowned. "Well, not exactly annoying, but he is all of those other things…I guess…"

Zexion rolled his eyes, but I didn't miss the quiet laugh he uttered under his breath and the small smile that quirked on his lips. I could tell that it was a rare show of emotion from the young man, if only from the frown lines that were beginning to form at the corners of his mouth. It only made me wonder even more how he and Demyx had managed to get together as a couple.

"Don't roll your eyes at me!" Demyx pouted and punched Zexion in the shoulder playfully.

Zexion snorted and propped his elbow on the table, resting his chin in his palm so his face was only inches away from Demyx's. "Aw, why not? It's fun to say big words I know you won't understand."

Demyx opened his mouth to retort but was quickly cut short when Zexion closed the gap between their faces. I flushed and looked away from the obviously private exchange, only to find that Naminé had disappeared. Sighing, I pushed myself away from the table and headed outside, fishing around in my pocket for my cell phone. I flipped the small red phone open once I stepped outside and punched in the number for the house so I could call my parents. Even though I was well over the age of eighteen, I figured that I still owed them an explanation for disappearing for so long with little more than a wave.

"Hey. It's me," I said when Mom answered on the second ring.

"Oh, hi, Sweetie," she said, and I could hear the frown in her voice. "Is everything alright?"

I nodded, then realized that she couldn't see it. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to let you know that I'm with some friends and to apologize for just walking out of the house this afternoon."

She laughed quietly and just the sound of it made a smile tug at my lips. "Oh, it's okay, Honey. I was worried, of course, but I knew that you probably just wanted to have some time to yourself. I'm glad that you're hanging out with your old friends, though. I haven't seen Tidus and Wakka in years."

My heart clenched tightly as her words washed over me. "Tidus and Wakka are in Radiant Garden for the wedding," I muttered.

With my mind's eye, I easily pictured my mom's mouth forming a small "o" as she realized what she had said. "Oh, Sweetie. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"No, no. It's okay. I know that you didn't know." I sighed. "I'm at Roxas'. He's friends with the girl I told you about that I met on the bus."

"Well, okay. Um, you still have a key, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, then. Come home whenever you're ready. Your father and I still sleep as hard as we did years ago, so don't worry about waking us up."

I laughed. "Okay, Mom. I'll see you in the morning."

"Yup. I love you, Riku."

"Love you too, Mom."

A heavy sigh slipped past my lips as I pressed the button to end the phone call, but continued to stare at the small colored screen. My wallpaper was a photo I had taken of me and Sora while we were at the Radiant Garden fair the year before, but that wasn't what had caught my attention. The thing that made me stare at my phone as if it were a giant spider about to take over the world was the little animated tape in the corner of the screen that let me know that I had a voicemail. Or several voicemails judging by the amount of times Sora had called and I hadn't answered since I had made it to the Islands.

"You're not going to call him back, are you?"

I let out a rather undignified yelp at the sudden, sad voice that echoed across the night and turned to find Naminé curled up in the lawn chair Demyx had been sitting in when I'd first met him. She smiled at me sadly and nodded at the chair next to her. I took the spot without an argument and frowned when she held out her hand timidly.

"Can I see your phone?"

My frown deepened and I narrowed my eyes slightly in suspicion, my hand reflexively tightening around my phone. "Why?"

She sighed and shook her head. "I figured." She sighed again and ran a hand back through her hair. "I just wanna look at it. I need a new one, but I dunno what kind I want. Can I just look at yours for a minute? I won't break anything, I promise."

Still frowning, I reluctantly handed Naminé the phone and watched her play with it. A small smile graced her lips when she flipped it open. When she winked at me I was thankful for the moonlight because it hid the blush that stained my cheeks.

"He's cute," she stated simply and continued her toying.

Naminé only played with my phone for a couple of minutes, but when she handed it back to me I swore that I would never let anyone look at it again. The way she frowned and glanced thoughtfully at me over the top of the phone let me know that she had looked at my missed call list and seen just how many times Sora had called me. Thankfully, though, she kept her mouth shut and didn't pester me about it because that would have only made matters worse.

"It's a nice phone," she muttered absentmindedly.

I frowned and glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. She was staring blankly out at the horizon, watching the barely visible waves moving in the moonlight.

"You're upset," I whispered.

She sighed and shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'm fine."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Right, and I'm the happiest man on the face of the planet."

A small giggle slipped past her lips and she glanced at me with a sudden spark of happiness in her eyes. "You're trying to be a funny man now?"

My lips quirked in a smirk and I shrugged halfheartedly. "Lemme guess. Don't quit my day job, right?"

"Of course," she laughed.

I stuck out my tongue and crossed my arms over my chest like a child, and it only made her giggle even more. She smacked me playfully on the arm and we both fell into a fit of laughter that probably could have been heard on the other end of the beach.

"Hey, funny guys!" Demyx poking his head out of the doorway interrupted our giggle fit and pulled us back into reality. "We're gonna watch a movie. Wanna join?"

"Sure!" Naminé said and glanced at me.

I shrugged and I swear that the smiles that lit up Demyx and Naminé's faces could have brightened anyone's day. Naminé and I stood from our seats and followed Demyx into the house, where everyone else was already waiting in the living room for us and the opening trailers of a movie were playing on the TV screen.

"What're we watchin'?" I muttered as I plopped down into the couch beside Axel, who was holding Roxas tightly on his lap.

Axel shrugged. "Who knows? Dem picked it out so it's probably some kind of chick flick."

"Hey!" Demyx shouted and threw a handful of popcorn at Axel from where he was lying on the floor. "I take offense to that. And it's not a chick flick. It's _Pan's Labyrinth_."

Axel shrugged and picked the popcorn out of Roxas' hair. Roxas, of course, complained and tried to wiggle out of Axel's grasp, but the redhead only tightened the arm he had around his waist. Soon after, the blonde gave up the fight and let Axel hold him, though I could tell that he was embarrassed.

"I heard that this movie was freaky," Naminé muttered.

Demyx nodded happily. "Yeah, me too. But I also heard that it's good. You've seen it, haven't you, Zex?"

The grey-haired young man shrugged and draped an arm around Demyx's waist. "It was good. Not too scary, but there's lotsa blood."

Demyx and Roxas groaned and the same time, and their respective partners tightened their hold around them.

"I'll protect you, Roxy!" Axel proclaimed and kissed Roxas playfully on the cheek.

Roxas grumbled in annoyance, but by the time we were halfway into the movie, he was squeezing Axel's hand awfully tight. When a monster I like to call Baby-Eater came to life in the movie, both Roxas and Demyx yelped and hid their faces. It was all quite comical, especially coming from Roxas. He was such a hard ass that I never would have thought that a suspenseful movie with a little bit of blood would have bothered him so much.

When the movie was over, I couldn't help but sigh heavily, especially when I chanced a glance at the clock. It was already midnight-thirty and I needed to head home before Mom started to worry. She had said not to worry about waking her and Dad up because they slept like rocks, but I knew that it was really because she was going to be sitting on the couch waiting for me. It was something she had always done while I was in high school and now that I was back I had the feeling that it wouldn't change. Dad, on the other hand, had always given up and gone to bed whenever he felt like it.

Sighing one more time, I pushed myself up from the couch and stretched my arms toward the ceiling. My back popped in several different places and forced another sigh past my lips. Naminé noticed my movement and cocked her head, glancing up at me in question.

"I gotta head home," I announced. "I have something I need to do before I go to bed tonight."

Naminé nodded and a small smile graced her lips. Demyx pushed himself up from the ground and engulfed me in a hug before I had the time to react.

"Come back real soon, ya'll hear?!" he said in a redneck voice.

I laughed and somehow managed to pry his arms away from me. "Of course I'll be back."

He smiled and nodded, and then it was Zexion's turn. Seeing that he was a man of few words, I wasn't surprised when he nodded to me in acknowledgement. I returned the nod and turned my attention onto Axel and Roxas.

"Call me tomorrow." Axel and Naminé were probably the only ones who knew that it wasn't a question. It was a demand.

I nodded to Roxas and smiled at Axel. "It was nice meeting you."

The redhead shrugged and held out a hand. "I could say the same thing about you."

I took the hand he offered and shook it, laughing. Once my goodbyes with the males were finished, I turned to Naminé, but she was already headed out the door. I frowned in concern, but made my way outside, nonetheless. She was waiting for me on the deck with her arms behind her back and a small smile on her face.

"You're going to call him tonight?"

"I'm gonna try," I said with a sigh.

She laughed and put a gentle hand on my arm. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine. You two have a lot to talk about."

"Yeah."

She laughed again and stood on her tiptoes to give me a small peck on the cheek. "If you don't call Roxas tomorrow, I'll call you," she said with a wink before she headed toward the door. "And be careful on your walk home. Text me or something if you remember so I'll know that you got there safe, okay?"

I nodded and slipped into my flip flops by the door. By the time I was done, Naminé was already inside, but I could see her watching me slyly from the living room window. I waved and gave her a small wink before I headed down the stairs and started the long walk home.

I was exhausted by the time I walked through the unsurprisingly unlocked door, only to be met by my mother's smiling face.

"You didn't have to wait up for me."

She shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, there are a lot of things in life that we don't have to do but we do it anyway."

I snorted and gave her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before I headed for the stairs and my bedroom. "I'm exhausted. I'll see you in the morning, 'kay?"

She nodded and I watched her disappear into the bedroom she shared with my father before I finally went up to my room. Once there, I quickly changed into a pair of sweatpants and pulled my cell phone out of the pocket of my blue jeans.

I did the easiest task first and sent Naminé a quick text message to let her know that I was home safe and that she really shouldn't worry so much. Then, I pressed the first button of my speed dial and stared at the screen until the call connected. When I pressed the phone to my ear and heard the first ring, a giant anvil fell into the pit of my stomach. When the voice I had missed so much over the past couple of days answered on the second ring, it was hard for me to breathe.

"Hello?"

I sighed and took a deep breath to get my emotions under control before I spoke. "Sora…"

TBC…  
**-----------------------------------------------------  
**A/N: Yay! I managed to finish it. Hurrah!! LoL. I know that it was mostly a filler, but at least Riku _finally_ called Sora…and then it ended. So yeah, expect that wonderful phone call to be described in the next chapter. Yay!!…

And yes…because I finished this last minute, it hasn't been edited at all. I would edit it a little bit, but it's almost 8 o'clock at night and I haven't even started to pack for the trip I'm leaving for tomorrow, so yeah… LoL. I think that's a little more important…

As always, loves to everyone who reviewed in the past and those of you who have added this story to their favorite's list over the past week or so. I would love to hear from you guys!! _::hugs to all::_…

I guess that's it, so until next chapter…adieu…


	9. Conversations

_::dramatic orchestra plays::_ And now the dramatic telephone conversation. Dun, dun, DUN!! LoL. So, because I know you all wanna get straight to it, I'll leave off here with this note…

Enjoy!!…

WARNINGS: language…

**Disclaimer:** the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney…

**Part Nine:  
Confrontations…**

"Sora…" His name came out as a breathy sigh that sounded weak and slightly desperate, even to my own ears.

Silence hung like a dead weight on the other end of the line, and I felt the anvil in my stomach become even heavier with dread. I had acted too quickly. I knew that I should have taken the time to check my voicemails first, but then I probably wouldn't have been able to gather the guts to finally try and call him. Maybe it was better this way, though. At least now he would have the chance to shout at me and get out all of his emotions.

"Ri-ri_ku_?" The sound of sobs just behind his voice definitely came as a surprise. "Riku?! Where are you? Is everything okay? Why did you just disappear like that, and why haven't you been answering your phone whenever I call?"

I choked on the words in the back of my throat, the words I had created in response to a completely different reaction from Sora. Instead, I sighed heavily and tried my hardest to calm my raging emotions before they managed to overcome me completely.

"I think the answers to those questions are obvious," I muttered weakly.

"No, they're not!" he shouted, and I knew now that he was crying. Knowing that he was crying yet again because of me sent a sharp pang of guilt surging through my heart. "How could you do that to me, Riku? You _kissed_ me! And then when I went to your apartment the day after, it was only to find out that you had disappeared. Why?"

"I knew that you would hate me and I couldn't stand to sit back and watch you get married to Kairi. That's why." I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose tightly. "I didn't want to ruin your marriage."

He laughed quietly. "Sorry to ruin your plans, but you did a wonderful job of ruining our marriage and you weren't even here."

"Wh-what?"

He laughed again. "I called off the wedding. I couldn't marry her, not after what happened with you." His voice quieted with every word until he was whispering, and I had to strain my ears to catch what he was saying.

"But I guess I should have caught on sooner," he continued. "Once Roxas pointed out all the signs it was so obvious that I wanted to cry. You've felt this way about me for a long time, haven't you?"

I sighed and was about to answer with an affirmative when something he had said jumped to the front of my mind. "Wait? _Roxas_? I thought you didn't know how or where to contact him or anything like that."

"That's 'cause I didn't. He's the one that called me. I had just gotten off the phone with him when you called."

A heavy frown took its place on my lips as I took a second to think about everything. Sora didn't have a way to contact Roxas, and last I knew Roxas didn't have a number or anything so he could contact Sora, either. There was a missing link somewhere.

If Roxas had just called Sora tonight, then he must have gotten a hold of Sora's phone number tonight as well, but how? No one but me knew Sora's number, and he sure as hell hadn't asked me for the number. So how in the world could he have done it?

As if on cue, a flash of blonde hair drifted through my mind and I recognized it so quickly that I knew it was becoming a little too commonplace.

"Damn you, Naminé," I muttered under my breath.

Naminé had been the one to give Roxas Sora's number. I knew that there had been something strange about her wanting to look at my phone all of a sudden, but I had just shoved it off as paranoia. But no! _She_ had gone through _my_ phone and looked at my contacts and gotten Sora's number so Roxas could call him.

'_That sneaky little bitch,'_ I thought.

"Riku?"

The quiet sound of Sora's voice managed to pull me out of my thoughts of how I would kill Naminé and back into reality. His voice was so sad and uncertain, two tones that I hardly ever heard in his voice. He was always so happy and sure about everything he wanted in his life. It didn't help that I knew that it was my fault that he had changed so much, and all because of a moment that had lasted little more than two minutes.

"I'm still here," I breathed. "Don't worry. I didn't hang up on you."

The indignant laugh that followed startled me. "Don't worry? How can I not? You left me once. How will I know that you won't do it again?"

My eyes were wide when he finished, and I grasped at words to form a reply but wasn't able to grab onto anything. What was there to say anyway? I had left him behind—had left everything behind—and with little more than a glance, at that. There was nothing I could say that could change it and make everything better. Before I had a chance to say anything, though, Sora had started speaking again and I couldn't help but listen.

"What were expecting to get out of running away, anyway?" he cried. "You didn't…you weren't…trying to forget me… Were you?"

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. "No, Sora. And even if I _was_ trying to forget you, there's no way in hell that I would be able to. I've…I've loved you for so long that to even think that I would be able to forget you would make me the biggest idiot in the world."

"Yeah, like in the whole history of forever, right?" he whispered.

I laughed quietly and shook my head at his childishness. "Yeah, Sora. I'd be the biggest idiot in the whole history of forever."

He giggled and I sighed, losing myself in the sound of it.

"I miss you, Sora," I whispered into the receiver. "Gods, I miss you so much."

"Then why don't you come home?"

I sighed quietly. "I can't, So."

"But…" He paused and I could hear him sniffing away tears. "Why can't you come back?"

"I can't go back home because I _am_ home, Sora. I never wanted to say in Radiant Garden after school, but I did because you were there and I couldn't bear to leave without you. The Islands have always been my only home."

He sniffed loudly. "If you couldn't bear to leave me behind before, then what gave you the push to do it this time?"

I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes, throwing a heavy arm over them. "Because then you got engaged to Kairi, and…"

"…and that's where everything changed," he finished.

I sighed. "Yeah. I got so jealous of Kairi because you started to spend all of your time with her. And, as much as I don't like her, I can sympathize with her now because she must have felt the same way back when you first started dating. You were spending all of your time with me because of my depression, and she got jealous because of it. Unfortunately, she fed her jealousy so much that overtime it turned into hatred."

Silence hung on the other end of the line, and as much as I wanted to break it, I knew that I had to give Sora the chance to gather his bearings before he started to talk again.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Sora sighed and said: "Kairi… She…she didn't hate you. She _couldn't_ have hated you. I mean, she doesn't have a mean bone in her body."

I laughed quietly. "No, Sora. That would be _you_. I wouldn't be surprised if every bone in Kairi's body was a mean one."

"Riku…"

I laughed again. "She _knew_, Sora. Kairi knew how I felt about you ever since we were teenagers, and she threw the fact that you picked her over me back in my face anytime that she could."

"N-no…she wouldn't do that."

"Remember my eighteenth birthday and how we were gonna go to the amusement part, but it started to rain so we had to cancel?"

"Yeah…"

"Remember how I talked to you and made different plans, but then Kairi called and told me to just come on over? And then…" I sighed, clenching my eyes closed as memories of that day flooded into my mind. "And I listened to her and went right on over to your house and…and saw you two fucking on your living room floor. Remember that?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I remember. I'll never be able to forget the look on your face that day. I should have known then. You looked so…empty. Even though you yelled and tried to be angry, your eyes were dead…completely void of emotion. It scared me so much because they looked just like they had all of the times I had found you in your bedroom with a knife pressed to your wrist.

"And then you stormed out of the house and wouldn't listen to me. You drove away and I was so scared that you were going to drive off the side of a cliff or something that I got in my car and followed you. But you didn't. I waited and watched you pull into your garage, and then left. I wanted to talk to you so badly, but I couldn't because I was afraid that you hated me. I was so ashamed that I cried for at least an hour when I got home. Kairi was gone and I was alone… That's when I realized how I felt about you."

"Then why didn't you do anything?" I whispered. "All those years of loneliness and depression because I thought that you were in love with Kairi…"

"I could say the same about you," he said with a sigh.

I sighed heavily and let the arm over my eyes fall to my side so I could stare blankly at my ceiling. "We're a mess, you know…?"

He laughed quietly. "Yes…I know."

Silence hung heavily between us as we each tried to process what had just been said. He had to come to terms with the fact that I had been right about Kairi all along, while I had to swallow his confession of his feelings for me.

Five years. I had lived in a pit of emptiness and depression for five years…and now I knew that it had been pointless. If only I had been able to admit my feelings to him before he had gotten engaged to Kairi. Things would have been much easier then. She would have done her best to make our lives a living hell, of course, but things still would have been much easier.

"'Ku…"

The sweet sound of Sora's voice pulled me out of my thoughts with a pleased sigh. "Yeah, Sora?"

"I'm sorry."

The apology partnered with the choked sob that followed it made my heart squeeze painfully. "Oh, Sora. You don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm the one who should be apologizing."

"No," he whispered. "I should have noticed how you felt from the beginning, but I didn't. I was blind and it made you go through so much pain. I'm so sorry."

"I was willing to go through the pain as long as you were happy."

He laughed quietly and, in my head, I pictured him rolling his eyes. "And here everyone thinks you're selfish."

I shrugged and smiled. "Well, I _am_, aren't I? I didn't want to share you, but I was afraid that you would leave if you found out how I felt. I never would have thought that you returned the feelings."

He sighed quietly. "So…what are we gonna do now?"

"I…I don't know," I muttered. "I want to see you, but I can't go back there. And…and I don't think you should come here. At least, not now."

"But…then where does that leave us? I want to see you too. I was ready to hop onto the nearest plane tomorrow, but then I talked to Roxas and you miraculously called. I…I was hoping that I would be able to convince you to come back, but I guess I was wrong. And what would be so bad about me going there?"

"I…I don't know…"

"You don't know? You're not hiding something from me, are you?"

"No, of course not! You know that I wouldn't hide something from you, So."

He sighed. "I want to be with you, 'Ku. Now more than ever. I want to feel the security of your arms around me when we fall asleep at night. I want to taste you…feel your lips against mine. I want to know that you're really there and that you'll never leave me again. I want to look deep into your eyes and see the love you have for me reflected in them. I want to run my hands through your hair. Dammit! I just want _you_, Riku." Sobs marred his voice as it quieted to little more than a whisper. "Don't you want me, too?"

"Of course I do, Sora," I moaned. "I want you more than anything in the world, but…—"

"No! I don't want any excuses! I don't see what the problem is. You want me and I want you. We _need_ each other, Riku, so why can't we be together?"

"Sora…"

"If you're not gonna come to me, then I'm going to you. And don't try to say that I shouldn't or that you don't want me to because I don't care anymore."

"Sora, please"

But it was useless. He was gone, and the dull silence of an unconnected line was my only response.

Sighing, I closed my phone with a clap that should have been quiet but seemed to echo endlessly around the walls of my bedroom.

So this was it. He was coming to the Islands, and I was going to have to face him for the first time since our kiss. I groaned and curled into a ball on my bed, staring unblinkingly at my alarm clock as the numbers flashed from one-twenty-one to one-twenty-two.

Gods, what was I going to do? How was I going to get the courage to face him? Even though he had admitted his feelings to me, I still wasn't sure what was going to happen when we met up again. I was certain that it wasn't going to be like old times, but I hoped that things wouldn't change between us too much. Besides, it would be the most wonderful feeling in the world to finally have him to myself. Now, if only I could keep myself from fucking everything up.

I laughed. Yeah, right.

TBC…  
**---------------------------------------------------  
**A/N: Sora's going to the Islands, and Riku doesn't know what to do!! _::dies::_ Poor, poor bishies. Why do I always torture you so? LoL…

Anyway, I hope you all are satisfied with this chapter and that Riku _finally_ talked to Sora. About time, right? I'm sorry that it took a bit longer than usual to get this chapter out, but I spent most of my writing time while in New York working on a fun (meaning angsty, dirty, and bittersweet) new Akuroku fic instead of this or "Understanding." So yeah…

Thanks to all of the fantabulous people out there who reviewed last chapter and continue to give me your feedback and support. Unending thanks and love to you all. _::hugs::_…

I edited, but didn't catch any mistakes. I probably just missed them, seeing that I was having too much fun listening to my brother's sound effects while watching Ninja Warrior and trying to edit at the same time. LoL... So...if I did miss some, I'm sorry...

Sooo…until next chapter, adieu…


	10. Mom

I really just have one thing to say… I LOVED writing Riku's mom in this chapter. LoL. You wanna talk about tough love!…

Anyway…enjoy!!…

WARNINGS: language…

**Disclaimer: **the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney…

**Part Ten:  
Mom…**

When I woke up the afternoon after that phone call with Sora I couldn't have been more worried, even if I was trying. I was still trying to digest the fact that he had had feelings for me for years and panicking over the fact that he was going to be coming to the Islands. I was going to see him for the first time since I had kissed him that night in the bathtub.

I took a shower to calm my thoughts, letting the warm water running over my body sort my feelings out and put them back into order. Yet, while I was brushing my hair I remembered that he hadn't given me an exact day or time for when he was going to arrive and I started to panic all over again.

How was I supposed to be prepared for the confrontation if I didn't know when it was going to happen? As good as I had been with impromptu speeches in school, this was something completely different. There was no way in hell that I was going to be able to just pull some story out of my ass whenever I finally saw him again. I had to be prepared. I had to at least have an _outline_ in my head of what I was going to say before the time finally came because I would freeze up if I didn't. If I didn't have a plan, I was going to look like an idiot.

Growling in frustration, I drew the brush through my hair one last time before throwing it down onto my dresser. It landed with a sickening crack that made me flinch. A shout from downstairs let me know that my mom had heard it as well, and soon enough, her footsteps started to echo up the staircase. I didn't even try to hide how I was feeling when she walked into my room, choosing the exact moment to collapse onto my bed and cover my eyes with an arm.

"Is everything okay, Sweetie?" she asked, and I felt the bed sink slightly as she sat down beside me. "What was that loud noise?"

"I threw my brush," I muttered sadly. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Even though I couldn't see her face, I knew that Mom was frowning, and when she frowned things were never good. One has to understand that my mother only frowns for three reasons. Reason number one is, of course, because she is feeling a tremendous amount of sadness or another overwhelming emotion. This frown is very subtle and usually accompanied by tears. Reason number two is because she's with me and knows that something is bothering me but doesn't know what to do to make it better. This particular frown is recognized easiest by the way she furrows her brow along with the frown, usually while staring at my back.

Reason number three, however, is the worst frown of all. She only frowns this frown whenever she's coming up with a brilliant plan. This frown in particular is quite possibly one of the trickiest frowns ever frowned, mainly because it disguises itself as a smile to trick the frownee (a.k.a. the person receiving the frown). Only someone who knows my mother as well as I do can tell the difference between one of her small smiles and one of her "I'm coming up with a plan that will probably screw with your entire life, but I really don't care" frowns.

After an eternity of silence, she sighed and I let out a breath that I hadn't even realized I had been holding. Thank the gods above that it wasn't one of her "I'm coming up with a plan…" frowns, but one of her "I know that you're hurting but I don't know what to do to make it better" frowns.

Letting out my own heavy sigh, I let my arm fall away from my eyes as Mom started to rub my elbow tenderly. There was so much that I wanted to tell her, but I wouldn't be able to bear it if one more person called me an idiot. I _knew_ that I was an idiot, so why did everyone think that they needed to repeat the fact constantly. Especially Roxas. Only the gods knew how many times he had called me an idiot the night before.

"Something's bothering you," Mom stated, and I nodded. "It must be something important for you to be so worked up. I'm guessing that it's something about Sora?"

Her small sigh when I flinched at the mention of Sora's name made me groan and roll onto my side so I was facing away from her. I didn't want her to see the pain on my face or the complete absence of emotion in my eyes. She had already spent enough of her life worrying about my well-being.

"Sweetie, I know that you probably don't want to share any of your problems with your dear old mother, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. Okay?"

I sighed and rolled back onto my back, keeping my eyes glued to my ceiling. "Sora broke off the wedding because of something I did," I muttered.

"Oh, Riku. Don't blame yourself. I doubt it was your fault that he called it off. It was probably because he finally realized how Kairi really was."

I shook my head. "No. He called off the wedding because of the real reason why I came back." I sighed and glanced at Mom out of the corner of my eye to see that she was watching me intently. "I kissed him, and then I left. And he called off the wedding."

Silence filled my room for a while, but then there was a sickening crack that made me shout and grab my arm in pain. She had punched me. My own mother had punched me as hard as she possibly could, which was pretty damned hard seeing that she had done martial arts since she was a teenager.

"You're an idiot!" she shouted.

"So I've been told," I grumbled, moving my hand to check for marks. There was sure to be a bruise there in a few minutes.

"You kissed him and then you left?"

"That's what I said."

She punched me again. "You're an idiot!"

"There are some mothers out there who go to jail for abusing their children," I muttered, rubbing the new spot on my arm gingerly.

"Yeah? And there are some mothers out there who let their children be idiots and rot alone for the rest of all eternity."

"Just leave me alone," I groaned and covered my head with my pillow.

"No!" she shouted and pulled the pillow out of my hands. "I won't leave you alone because I know that you'll do something even more idiotic once Sora gets here, and you'll scare the poor boy away forever."

"It's my problem!"

"And you're my son!"

"Wh-wh…." I sat up and threw my arms into the air. "That doesn't mean that it's your problem."

"No, you're right. But since you're my son that makes _you_ my problem, and I have to make sure that you don't completely screw up your entire life when you deal with your own problems."

I groaned and ran a hand through my hair, pulling at the strands in aggravation. "You make absolutely no sense."

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Yeah, and you make all the sense in the world."

"Shut up."

She snorted and patted my shoulder gently. "Yeah, yeah. I know. I love you too."

Silence filled the room once again as we each took the time to calm our raging emotions. There wasn't a word to describe how I felt. Even though I was aggravated with my mother, I wasn't angry with her. I knew that she was only being a mom and had given herself over to her maternal instincts. I rubbed my arm again where she had punched me. It didn't mean that she had to abuse me, though.

"What are you going to do?" she muttered after a while.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'll think about it when the time comes."

She sighed. "You're sure he's coming?" I nodded. "Did he say when?"

"No," I sighed. "He just said that he's going to come here because I refuse to go there."

"That's it?" I nodded and she sighed. "You boys are going to send me and Miranda to an early grave."

I snorted. "You two have been saying that since me and Sora first met."

She shrugged. "It's the truth. We can't deny our motherly instincts. I swear. Miranda was ready to hop onto the nearest plane so she could strangle her son when she found out that he had proposed to Kairi."

"How did you manage to make her change her mind?" I said with a laugh, even though I already knew the answer. Once Sora's mom got riled up over something, there was only one way to calm her down.

"Isaac slipped a crushed up Lortab into her drink when she wasn't paying attention." The innocent smile on her face while she spoke made me laugh even harder.

"Nice."

She shrugged. "Hey. You gotta do what you gotta do. That woman would have torn poor, little Sora limb from limb once she got her hands on him."

"Yeah."

Silence, then: "You're not going to run again, you know? I won't let you."

I sighed. "I wasn't even thinking about running away this time, Mom. Even though I'm terrified that he called off the wedding and that he's coming here to be with me, I'm not going to let myself run away."

She frowned prettily and cocked her head to the side. "What made you change your mind about running away this time?"

I shrugged. "If I ran away then I know that I probably _will_ rot away in loneliness for the rest of eternity. Sora feels the same way as I do. I'm just going to have to get used to not having to hide my feelings from him all the time, I guess."

"You know," she said, "he's going to have to do the same thing. You're not the only one who has been hiding your feelings for years."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"Do you really?"

I glared at her in response to the question, but her answering glare made me sigh in defeat. There was no way to win against this woman, not unless you were ready to sacrifice everything you had. Even then, there wasn't a definite chance that you would win.

"Yes, Mom. I know."

She smiled and patted me softly on the arm. "Good. It's nice to know that my little Riku has grown away from being so self-centered all the time."

I didn't even try to glare at her then. I just snorted and rolled my eyes, flopping back down onto my bed. "Could you leave me alone now?" I muttered. "I need some time to think."

She laughed and I didn't think that she was going to go, but then her weight was removed from my bed and I heard her footsteps move across the floor.

"I'll call you when dinner's ready," was the last thing I heard before the door clicked closed behind her.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and curled up into a tight ball. Why did mothers have to be so damned insightful? And why did my mother have to enjoy prying into my life so much? It was almost like she took joy out of tormenting me until I broke and told her whatever she wanted to know.

"Damned sadist," I muttered under my breath as I grabbed my cell phone from my bedside table.

Almost resentfully, I jabbed the third number on my speed dial and waited as patiently as I could until Naminé answered on the fourth ring.

"What happened?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, hello to you too, Nam," I muttered sarcastically.

"Ha ha, Riku. Now seriously, what happened? What did he say? What did you say? When are you leaving?"

"What we said is none of your business, but I'm not leaving." I sighed again. "_He's_ the one who's coming here."

She gasped and I heard her muttering something to someone I could only guess to be Roxas. The other three hadn't seemed too keen on hearing about my screwed up love life with Sora.

"When?" I heard Roxas ask.

"I…don't know. All he said was that he was coming here before he hung up."

"Dammit!"

"Tell me about it," I said with a quiet laugh that tapered off into a yawn. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm gonna take a nap before dinner is ready."

Namine sighed. "Okay, well… Don't hesitate to come see us tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah."

She laughed. "Alright. We'll talk to you later."

"Mm-hm. Bye." I didn't wait for her response for I snapped my phone closed and returned it to its place on the table.

When I woke up later on that evening, my arm had a terrible kink from where it had been resting on the edge of the table.

TBC…  
**---------------------------------------------------  
**A/N: Yeah…this chapter was super short, but it gave me the chance to develop Riku's mom a little bit. Not much plot movement, but yeah… There really won't be much until Sora gets there…

Also…I've decided that there are only going to be five more chapters, if that. It all depends on whether or not I'm satisfied with a scene earlier than chapter 15 and want to end there…_::shrugs::_…

Anyway…thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I know that I haven't gotten back to you guys yet with the review replies, and I just wanted you all to know that I appreciated every one of them. I'll try to get back to most of them over the weekend, but I dunno. I already know that I'm going to spend all day Saturday isolated in my bedroom, reading _Deathly Hallows_, so yeah… LoL…

Until next chapter, adieu…


	11. Suprises

Writer's. Block. Sucks. As such, I'm sorry it took me so long to get this out…_::sighs::_… For some reason this fic has decided to start being a bitch and it's annoying…

Anyway…I hope that it doesn't affect the quality of this chapter. If it does, I'm sorry, but it really shouldn't. I was hit with inspiration once I finished chapter six of "Understanding," so yeah…

Enjoy!!…

WARNINGS: language…

**Disclaimer:** the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney…all the songs from the _Right Where You Want Me _album belong to Jesse McCartney...and he belongs to…well…himself…LoL…

**Part Eleven:  
Surprises…**

The next few days were quite possibly the most frustrating of my entire life. Everyone, and I mean _everyone_, hovered over me as if I were sick or something. If Naminé and Roxas weren't with me, they were calling me at least every half an hour to know how I was doing. And don't even get me started on my mother. She had decided that it was her right to take off work so she could help me "deal with the emotional strain." _What_ emotional strain? There was nothing for me to be emotional about.

Well, except for the fact that I had no idea when Sora was going to get to the Islands. All I knew was that he was coming. Whether it was by bus, train, or air, I had no idea.

Other than that, I had absolutely nothing to worry about. The weather was wonderful and I couldn't resist heading down to the beach at least once or twice to read a book and lay out in the sun. Not to get a tan, though. No, gods forbid I get a tan. Hell, I didn't even burn. What the hell was up with that?

I would have been perfectly fine if everyone had just left me alone. The fact that they were worrying about me only helped to aggravate me even more. They were the ones who were causing me emotional strain. I mean, you would think they'd understand that it was easier _not_ think about Sora coming to the Islands when I wasn't reminded of it every five seconds. Unfortunately, they all seemed to be born with an idiot trigger that was immediately set off whenever they were in the vicinity of drama.

Needless to say, it was just a little bit annoying. Would it have been too much to ask for just a little bit of silence? For a little bit of calm? It was almost impossible for me to try and decide how I was going to react once I was face-to-face with Sora since the night I had kissed him with all the commotion that was going on around me. And I couldn't say anything about need some peace and quiet, either, because then my mother just looked at me as if I had no idea what I was talking about.

"You don't know what you need," she muttered while bustling around in the kitchen making dinner.

I narrowed my eyes and leaned against the counter with my arms crossed over my chest. "I'm twenty-two. Don't you think I'm old enough to think for myself?"

She laughed out loud, throwing back her head. And it wasn't just a normal laugh, either. It was one of those laughs that said "That's what _you_ think." I _hated_ that laugh.

"Age doesn't matter, Riku. Apparently you're not old enough to handle your own love life in a half way decent manner…"

"So," I scoffed.

"_So_…if you don't know how to handle your love life then you obviously don't know what you need. It's as simple as that."

I rolled my eyes and threw my hands up into the air in frustration. "I don't need this," I grumbled and left the kitchen.

I heard Mom saying something, but I didn't catch a word of it. Not only that, but I really didn't care, either. I shoved my feet into my flip-flops by the door and left the house. I had no idea where I was going to go, seeing that I couldn't go to Roxas' without getting the same treatment as I got at home, so I just started to walk. It was a beautiful day and it would be nice to just wander around by myself.

Unfortunately, the gods didn't seem to care about what I wanted anymore. Not even five minutes into my walk I spotted Naminé through one of a shop's big sidewalk windows. I cursed quietly under my breath and started to walk faster, but the damage was already done. The brief pause I had taken in my surprise at seeing her had given Naminé enough time to catch a glimpse of me through the window. She was walking out the door just as I was getting ready to go past it.

"Nice day for a stroll, eh?" she said, a knowing smile on her face.

I rolled my eyes and shoved my hands deep into my pockets. "Oh, yeah. A wonderful day for a stroll…by myself."

"Now, now. You don't have to be so mean, Riku. It's not like I was wandering through that shop because I knew that you were going to go for a walk and that you'd stop if you saw me in the shop and then I could meet you outside and pretend that it was all just an accident." She smiled sweetly. "I'm good, but I'm not _that_ good."

"Whatever," I grumbled.

Naminé laughed and hooked her arm around one of my own. I aimed my most vicious glare at her, but she ignored it with yet another one of her smiles that said that she knew everything. Hell, she probably _did _know everything. I had a feeling that Roxas had been calling Sora and that he knew what was going on. And if Roxas knew what was going on, then Naminé knew what was going on too because those two just seemed to enjoy bothering the hell out of me lately.

"Where are you headed anyway?" Naminé muttered after we had walked for five minutes or so.

I shrugged. "Does it matter? I just wanted to go for a walk, so I'm walking."

She laughed. "Aw, did Mom's worry get on ickle Riku's nerves?"

I sighed and ripped my arm out of Naminé's hold. "Would you just stop?!" I growled. "Between you, Roxas, and my mother I'm going to go insane!"

Naminé snorted and continued walking beside me. "I'm sorry to tell you this, Riku, but I don't think you've been sane for a _long_ time."

"Oh, shut up."

She laughed and shook her head. "I was just sayin'. If your feelings for Sora hadn't driven you crazy over the years, you wouldn't be acting like such a bitch right now. 'Cause that's why you're really pissed off. You're not mad at me or Roxas or Mom. You're pissed 'cause you dunno when Sora's gonna be here."

"I don't like surprises," I muttered dourly. "And would you stop calling my mom 'Mom'?"

She shrugged and went on as if she hadn't even heard a word that I had said. "I mean, it's completely understandable. I knew from when we first talked that you were a touchy person, but I never realized just _how_ touchy you really were. It's not our fault. That Sora keeps calling Roxas, I mean. And it's not like Roxas is just going to ignore him or anything."

I stopped walking and watched Naminé with what I guess was a the most dumbstruck look that had ever been seen on a person's face, if her laughter after she'd turned around and looked at me was any judge.

"Naminé, would you please just _stop talking_? I don't want to think about Sora coming here, okay? I don't care that he's calling Roxas instead of me. I know I'm a touchy person, and I know why I'm really pissed off. I didn't need you to tell me any of that."

She frowned and furrowed her brow. "I was just sayin'."

I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair. Was it just me, or was Naminé talking _a lot _more than she usually did? It was weird. Usually she was quiet, but today she just seemed to be a chatterbox. Not only that, but she didn't seem to be able to come up with good things to say. If I had been anyone else, all the things that she'd already said to me would have severely pissed me off.

"I know that you were just sayin', Naminé, but please… Just stop, okay? All I wanna do is walk down to the beach and listen to the waves a little bit so I can gather myself."

She nodded, but still had a frown on her face. "Can't you just come to Roxas' for a bit? Everyone's there and they'd really like to see you. That'll definitely take your mind off Sora, won't it?"

I sighed again. Now that I thought about it, she was right. Between the entertainment of Axel and Demyx, it would be easy for me to forget about my constant worry about when Sora was going to get to the Islands. Maybe I would get lucky and they'd put on another lip synching performance like they had last time to the entire_ Right Where You Want Me_ album from Jesse McCartney. No matter how annoying it was, if that wouldn't take my mind off things, then I didn't know what would.

"Fine," I muttered. "But only for a little bit, okay?"

The smile that lit up Naminé's face was positively radiant. I groaned as she latched onto my arm and started to drag me off in the direction of Roxas' house.

"Everyone's gonna be _so_ excited to see you!" she exclaimed. "Demyx was starting to think you weren't coming over because you hated him or something."

I snorted and shook my head. That would be something that Demyx would think. It was hard to believe that he was my age once he got into one of his moods. Then, it was hard to believe that he was any older than six.

"Promise me something?" I said once we turned onto Roxas' road.

"Hm?"

"That you'll make one of the most amazing meals ever while I'm here."

Naminé snorted and could tell without looking at her face that she'd rolled her eyes. "If it'll keep you over for longer than an hour, then fine."

I smiled happily; satisfied, if only for the moment. Even though I wouldn't admit it to myself—or to Naminé, for that matter—I was actually looking forward to getting to Roxas'. Who knew what was going to be happening today.

When we finally made it to the house, Naminé and I walked up the steps in silence. It didn't last long, however, as I was almost tackled to the ground in one of Demyx's violent hugs the second I walked through the door. Roxas and Axel laughed, and I could have sworn that I saw the smallest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of Zexion's lips before he returned his attention to the book that was open in his lap.

"We've missed you, Riku!" Demyx shouted when he finally let go of me.

Roxas and Axel "sh"ed the blonde at the same time. Demyx's eyes grew wide for a moment, but then he nodded and put a finger to his lips.

"Right. Gotta be quiet. Sorry." He gave me a quick smile and returned to his place on the couch beside Zexion. Zexion slung a shoulder over Demyx's shoulder so he could curl up to his side and twined a finger around a strand of blonde hair.

"How come everyone's gotta be quiet?" I muttered as I kicked my flip-flops off beside the door and took a seat in one of the armchairs.

"Larxene's taking a nap," Roxas shrugged.

"Ah." I had learned my lesson with the woman before. It wasn't that she was a bitch, even if she looked like it. She just didn't like being woken up before she wanted to. Hell, she was just like any normal person.

And then silence filled the room. It made my ears itch and I felt like I wanted to scream. It wasn't supposed to be quiet here. There was always supposed to be _something_ going on, even if it really was nothing. Even the television was turned down so we could barely hear it over the sounds of Naminé bustling around the kitchen to start making something to eat. It was kind of irritating.

"What have you been up to lately, Riku?" Roxas spoke so suddenly that I almost jumped out of my seat, but I managed to recover with a small shrug.

"As if you wouldn't know," I said with a small laugh. "I was headed out for a walk to the beach when I ran into Naminé and she convinced me to come here instead."

Axel laughed. "Aw, poor Riku. You got hit with Nam's womanly powers of persuasion."

"More like womanly charms," Naminé commented from the kitchen.

I snorted, and Naminé threw a baby carrot at me, nailing me in the side of the head.

"Shut it!" she grumbled when I glared at her.

I shrugged and popped the carrot in my mouth. Demyx yawned loudly and pulled himself away from Zexion, smiling softly at his boyfriend when he looked at him in question.

"I'm gonna go out for a smoke," he stated and headed outside.

I accepted his silent invitation and followed after him. It would be easier to think once I was outside. Plus, I could talk to Demyx. As hyperactive as he was, he tended to mellow out a bit while he was smoking. And he was surprisingly understanding of my situation.

I settled down onto the wooden bench swing while Demyx settled down into one of the chairs and pulled my pack of cigarettes from my jean's pocket. It wasn't until after I lit one and took a hit that Demyx started to talk.

"Have you heard anything from him yet?"

I shook my head and sighed, letting a plume of smoke fill the air in front of me. "No. Roxas probably has, but he refuses to tell me anything. He's acting like I'm going to run away again if I know when Sora's going to be here."

"Well." Demyx paused to take a drag from his cigarette. "It's not like he doesn't have reason to think that you'll run. I mean, you did it before so what's stopping you now?"

I shrugged. "I suppose I'm tired of running and hiding all the time. I've spent the better part of four years hiding my feelings from him. Now that he knows how I feel, I guess he's just going to have to decide how to deal with it."

"It'll hurt if he decides to leave."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Yeah. It'll hurt more than anything in the world. I dunno what I'll do if he wants to leave. There'll really be nothing left for me then."

"Riku…"

I laughed. "Not that I'm going to kill myself or anything. I'll just, you know, float through life, here but not really here. I won't know what to do with myself once I know that I can't love him anymore."

"Would you date?"

"I dunno," I said with a shrug. "Probably, but it would never work. I mean, I know it's probably weak and hopeless to say that Sora's the only person I'll ever love, but it's true. I might be able to convince myself that I love someone else, but I'll know that it's a lie."

Demyx laughed quietly and I sighed, snuffing out my cigarette in the bucket of sand that sat on the deck between us. Silence fell after that, and I relaxed in the chair with my eyes closed. It had been a while since I could just sit and listen to the waves in someone else's company without having the silence broken after a couple of seconds. After a while, Demyx picked up his guitar and started to play a simple song. The quiet sound of his voice when he started to sing must have lulled me into sleep. That or I zoned out so badly that I couldn't remember what was going on when I came back.

The jolt of the swing moving as someone took a seat beside me is what jolted me back into reality. I moaned quietly, but refused to open my eyes. And if I didn't know any better, I could have sworn that someone was leaning against me, thin arms wrapping around my waist so a face could be buried in my chest. I took a deep breath and sighed. The hair that tickled my face smelled like rainy days and juniper, just like…

My eyes snapped open and I looked down, only to be met with a faceful of brown spikey hair. I looked up to see that Demyx was gone, but four pairs of eyes were peering at me from the window behind the couch. When I looked back down and saw that the brown hair was still there, I laughed and wrapped my arms tightly around him.

"Sora," I sighed and buried my face in his hair and took a deep breath. Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes, but I managed to hold them back. I could feel the fabric of my T-shirt getting wetter and wetter against my chest, and I wanted to be strong for him.

Sora looked up and I swear that my heart took flight as I looked deep into his blue eyes. My hands immediately went up to cup his face and I wiped his tears away with my thumbs. He sniffed cutely and I smiled.

"I was so afraid that you were going to leave," he whispered through a new onslaught of tears.

I moaned and pulled him into another hug. "I won't ever leave you again. I promise."

He smiled sadly and slowly moved so he was straddling my lap. I moved my hands to his hips and his arms wrapped around my neck. "How can I believe you? You left me once. How do I know that you won't do it again?"

I sighed. "I was an asshole, and stupid. I was terrified that you would hate me if you ever found out how I felt about you."

"Coming from the person who swears that I don't have a mean bone in my body," he muttered.

"Well, this was different."

He frowned and shook his head. "No, Riku. It's not different. Even if I didn't return your feelings, you're still my best friend. We've been through too much together for me to just throw you aside as if you were nothing to me."

"I would die," I whispered.

"I thought…" He paused to take a breath and gain control of his tears. "I thought that that's what had happened when I went back to your apartment and saw that you were gone. That you had died, I mean. I thought you had gone somewhere and killed yourself. And when you didn't answer any of my calls that just made me even surer you had killed yourself. I was so scared, Riku. You have no idea how scared I was. I was so sure that I had lost you forever."

I frowned and cupped the side of his face in a hand, sighing when he nuzzled his face into it. "I'm sorry," I choked.

He cocked his face to the side and ran a hand back through my hair, and the sight of the pain in his eyes was too much for me to handle. I used the hand on his face to move him closer to me and captured his lips with my own. It was chaste, but desperate. When we pulled apart, Sora's face was covered in a blush and I was breathing a little harder than I should have been.

"How long have you been here?" I whispered, resting my forehead against his.

"I just got in this morning. I flew. Roxas had to pick me up at the airport. I would have called you, but I was too tired."

I laughed quietly and made a mental note to thank Roxas later, but only after kicking his ass first. I guess I couldn't only kick his ass, though, since everyone in the house had known about it. So much for Larxene taking a nap.

"And don't be too angry with Roxas," Sora said as if he were reading my thoughts. "I asked him not to tell you because I was afraid that you would leave. I figured I had a better chance of seeing you if you didn't know when I was going to be here."

"Don't worry," I said with a cocky smile. "I won't kick his ass too hard. He _has_ helped me quite a bit since I've been here. Well…if you can consider being called an idiot every five minutes help."

Sora laughed and shook his head. "That's my cousin for ya."

I smiled and tightened the arms that I had wrapped around Sora's waist. We were kissing again before long and I couldn't help but sigh into it as I thought about how different my life was going to be now that Sora was here.

But then Sora dipped a hand beneath my shirt and all thought seized to exist.

Sora was here and he was in my arms. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore.

TBC…  
**-------------------------------------------------------------  
**A/N: Yay! Riku and Sora are reunited!! _::dances::_ Sorry it took so long. LoL. Three or four more chapters left, though. Should be interesting…

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter. Ya'll are awesome and I loves you! _::hugs::…_

Until next chapter, adieu…


	12. Sora

I'm excited to be writing now that Sora's back in the picture. All should be good now…

Enjoy!!…

WARNINGS: language…

**Disclaimer:** the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney…"Light My Fire" belongs to The Doors…

**Part Twelve:  
Sora…**

I must have died. That was the only explanation for how Sora could be with me. I must have died and boarded an immediate flight on a Concord to Heaven. Not that I was complaining or anything. Just being able to finally have him was enough for me to be happy, even if I _was_ dead.

But then he would touch me and it would send a sensation of pleasure surging through my body, and I would know that I wasn't dead. I was _alive_ and yet he was with me. It was a miracle. And I couldn't help but smile softly as I woke up the morning after Sora's arrival, only to be greeted by a mass of brown hair resting on my chest.

I sighed quietly and ran a hand back through his hair in long, even strokes. I couldn't believe that it was real. He had always seemed to show so much more interest in Kairi than he had in me, so I never would have expected him to return my feelings.

After a few minutes of running my fingers through his hair, Sora stirred and opened his eyes blearily. When he looked up at me cutely, I couldn't help but smile.

"G'moring, beautiful," I whispered.

He groaned and buried his face in my chest. "It's too early for clichés," he grumbled.

I snorted and threw a glance at my clock. "Too early my ass. It's nearly noon."

Sora sighed and snuggled up close to me, squeezing me tightly with the arm that was slung around my waist. "I'm too comfortable to get up."

I smiled and ran a hand back through his hair. He lifted his head and stared at me with his head cocked to the side. My smile grew and I tucked a hand beneath his chin, pulling him forward so I could press our lips together. It was a short kiss, nothing like the desperate and heated ones we had shared before falling to sleep. Even so, it meant more than any of those desperate kisses ever would.

"I love you," I whispered.

Sora smiled, pure happiness shining in his eyes. "I love you too," he said before he kissed me sweetly. "Thanks for waiting for me."

I laughed and kissed the end of his nose. "I would have waited even longer if I had to."

He chuckled and crawled on top of me, locking our lips together in a heated and passionate kiss. Hands buried themselves in hair, wandered freely up shirts and dipped beneath the waistband of our pajama pants. The moan that slipped through Sora's lips when I brushed my fingers tenderly against the nape of his neck was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

The moment having occurred in my house, however, I was foolish to think that it could last forever. I should have heard the footsteps, should have heard the sound of my mom's voice as she sang the words to "Light My Fire" off key. Unfortunately, I didn't, so when the door to my room burst open, it was with no warning.

"Riku, I think it's about time you… AHHHHH!!!" The look on her face when she screamed would have been comical had she not interrupted at such a horrible time.

"_Mom_," I groaned and quickly grabbed the blanket to keep whatever dignity Sora and I had left. Sure, we hadn't been completely naked, but it was still embarrassing.

Sora sighed and rolled over to the side so he could lie beside me. He gave my mom a sheepish grin and waved. "Hi. It's…ah…been a while, huh?"

Mom's eyes seemed to widen to three times their normal size as they took in the scene. I could almost hear the gears working in her head while she tried to digest everything, and it took all I had to keep from laughing.

"Sora?" she finally gasped after a couple of minutes. "So…Sora. You…Kairi… I thought." Her eyes locked onto me. "What did you do?"

"What did _I _do?" I grumbled. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? _I_ didn't do anything."

"Liar! You seduced Sora. How dare you! He just called off his wedding with Kairi and you took advantage of him at such a vulnerable moment."

"He's the one who started it," I muttered under my breath.

Sora snorted and punched me playfully in the chest before he turned his attention onto my mom, smiling brightly. "He didn't do anything. It was me."

Mom narrowed her eyes. "Don't worry, Sora. You don't have to cover for him. He's a grown boy and can handle his own problems."

"No, really," he pressed. "I know that you knew that I was coming and obviously you knew that I called off the wedding, but it's not Riku's fault." He paused and frowned. "Well…technically it _is_ his fault, but not in a bad way. He made me realize how stupid I was being by agreeing to marry Kairi. She wasn't who I loved. It was him. So I called off the wedding so we could be together."

Mom frowned and stared deeply at Sora for a few seconds before she sighed heavily, a bright smile spreading across her face. "Well, that's good news! I'm sure your mother is excited that you're home."

I laughed and Sora smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah…about that…"

The bright smile on my mom's face disappeared immediately, only to be replaced with a fierce scowl. "You haven't told you own _mother_ that you're here yet?"

Sora shook his head. "I haven't exactly had the time to call her yet. I was planning on doing it once I got up and going."

"She's going to be so happy to see you and to hear your news!" my mom exclaimed. "She was so furious when she heard that you proposed to Kairi."

Sora groaned and buried his face in the crook of my neck. "Did _everyone _know that I was in love with you before I realized it?"

I shrugged. "If it's any solace, I didn't."

He laughed and licked the side of my neck playfully, making a rather violent shiver ripple through my body. I had to bite my tongue to hold back a moan.

"Don't do that!" I grumbled quietly after I'd regained some composure.

He smiled innocently and shrugged. Not even the sound of my mom's laughter seemed to hold him back, although he did wait until the door closed before he did anything too embarrassing.

"I found one of your spots," he teased, pressing a kiss against the place he'd licked.

"You're gonna pay for that," I muttered through a moan and, in a flash, changed our positions.

With a laugh, Sora wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled my mouth down to meet his. I gave in without a fight, letting myself be washed away on a wave of pleasure I never thought could have existed.

**""**

Later on that day, after we had taken showers and grabbed something to eat, Sora insisted that we take a walk around the Islands and pay a visit to his mother. I didn't have a problem with it, seeing that it was yet another beautiful day and it was an opportunity to get away from my mother. I had felt her eyes burning holes into my back since we'd come downstairs and it was getting more annoying by the second.

"I forgot how beautiful the Islands are," Sora muttered as we were wrapping up our afternoon by heading towards his house.

I smiled at him and grabbed his hand, twining my fingers with his. "That was one of the first things I said when I got back."

He laughed. "I guess what they say is true. You really do take everything for granted until you don't have it anymore."

"This can be ours again, you know?"

He sighed. "I know…and it will be. There are still a few loose ends we need to tie up, though. I mean, we have our jobs, and you need to do something about your apartment. I bet your landlord will skin you alive once you go back."

I laughed and squeezed his hand. "Yeah, he probably will. Maybe he'll understand if I tell him why." I laughed again. "I doubt it. He'd probably call me a fag and say good riddance while I walk out the door."

"He's really that bad?"

I snorted. "Have you seen the man? He screams homophobe."

Sora sighed sadly and moved closer to me. I pulled our hands apart and wrapped an arm around his waist instead, smiling when I felt him shove a hand down into one of my back pockets.

"What do you wanna do after we go to your house?" I muttered after a bit.

He shrugged. "I dunno. Do you feel like going to hang out at Roxas' for a bit? I know you're probably tired of him, but it's something to do."

I laughed. "Tired of Roxas? _No._ What could possibly make you think that I would be tired of Roxas?"

Sora laughed and punched me playfully on the back. "Watch it, Mister Sarcasm. That's my cousin you're talking about."

"I think I have the right to complain after all the times he's called me an idiot."

"He did that to you, too?" Sora muttered.

I paused for a second and looked down. Sora looked up and his blue eyes were sparkling with playful happiness. I laughed heartily and pressed a small kiss to the corner of his lips before I started walking again, pulling him along with me.

"Of course he called me an idiot. I think he should coin it as his signature phrase or something."

Sora laughed. "Yeah, like Raijin in middle school. Remember how he always used to add 'ya know?' after _everything_?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "How could I forget? It was so annoying. I almost got suspended from school because I threatened to pull out his tongue if he didn't shut up."

"Oh, yeah!" Sora exclaimed. "I forgot about that. You got in so much trouble. Didn't your mom ground you for a month and force you to clean the kitchen floor with a tooth brush once a week or something?"

I groaned. "Yeah, except it was two months and she made me clean the kitchen _and _bathroom floors with a toothbrush. It was horrible, and I got so mad at her because she wouldn't let me go to your birthday party that year."

Sora laughed, and I couldn't help but join in. We continued walking and laughing, losing ourselves in the ridiculous memory of our childhood. But it wasn't just any memory. It was _our _memory, along with many others we had stored away in our minds for later sharing…and the ones we would add to it as we continued along with our lives together.

"I wonder what happened to him? And Seifer and Fuujin? They were always together," Sora thought aloud once managed to control our laughter.

I shrugged. "I dunno about Rai and Fuu, but I heard that Seifer went off to become a police officer or something like that."

Sora chuckled. "Perfect job for him after all the hard work he put in with the discipline committee in school." He put on his best serious face and furrowed his brow. "Lemme see your hall pass, chicken wuss, or I'll take you to see the principal."

I laughed and squeezed Sora close to me in a half-hug. "Nice impression, babe."

He giggled. "I try, I try. And I never understood why he could get away with calling everyone a chicken wuss or something equally as lame when you got in trouble for calling one teacher a bitch."

I snorted. "Well…probably because he never said it to a teacher and chicken wuss isn't considered a curse. Now if he'd said fuck face or something like that, I could understand him getting in trouble."

"Chicken wuss is a pretty mean thing to call someone when you're in middle school!" Sora argued with an indignant pout. "It was really hurtful."

"Aw. Did Sora get called a chicken wuss one too many times when he was a kid?" I joked and he glared at me. "Fine, fine. Next time I see Seifer I'll be sure to kick his ass for being so mean to you. How's that?"

He smiled. "I would love you forever."

I returned the smile and lowered my face so it was a few inches away from his. "Don't you already?" I whispered after kissing him.

He sighed. "Of course I do."

I smiled and took a second to look around us. As luck would have it, we had stopped just a couple houses down from his.

"Ready for face your mom?"

He scrunched his nose and made a face, but sighed. "Better get the castration over with now or else she'll show up at your house in the middle of the night with a pair of pliers and a blow torch."

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him close for a tight hug. "Why did we have to get the crazy mothers?"

He shrugged and looked up at me through his eyelashes. "I dunno, but I wouldn't have it any other way."

I smiled and quickly captured his lips in a kiss. Sora sighed into it and wrapped his arms around my waist, tangling his hands in my hair. My hands settled on his waist and held him to me so he couldn't go away. Even though I had spent the entire day around him, I was still too afraid that it was a dream to risk letting him go.

Just as I was about to run my tongue along his bottom lip and deepen the kiss a little more, a shrill and all-too-familiar voice broke the peaceful moment and made us jump apart.

"Riku Nicols, get your filthy hands off my fiancé before I chop them off!!"

'_Fuck!'_

I looked down at Sora and frowned when I saw the look on his face. Fear and surprise were clearly shining in his eyes as he started at his open front door and the seething redhead who stood there. After a couple of seconds, he sighed and ran a hand back through his hair.

"This isn't good."

TBC…  
**--------------------------------------------------------  
**A/N: LoL. After writing Kairi as such a bitch, I couldn't just let Sora leave to be with Riku and not make her at least try to put up a fight. Sadly, that fight will be in the next chapter, but still…Hehe…

Once again, I love their moms with a freakin' passion. I'm glad that I'll be able finally write Sora's mom soon. Gotta love the craziness!!…

Thank ya big-big to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter… Fresh baked (and edible n.n) cookies and hugs to you all…

Until next chapter, adieu…


	13. Kairi

I owe you all a HUGE apology for taking so long to update…_::sighs::_…Aside from working and heading back to school, I've been struggling with not relapsing back into my depression for the past week or so. I had and still have little motivation to write, and it sucks. So I'm sorry about taking so long for this chapter, and for possibly taking a while on the chapters to come. Blame my mental state because I have no control over it…

Enjoy!!…

WARNINGS: language, Kairi…LoL…

**Disclaimer: **the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney…

**Part Thirteen:  
Kairi…**

If I had ever been surrounded by a more intense atmosphere in my life, I couldn't remember when. The tension in the living room of Sora's old home was almost suffocating. Add to it the fact that I could feel Kairi's eyes glaring daggers into my soul and one would understand why I was itching to run away, screaming at the top of my lungs like a little bitch. Sora's constant presence at my side was the only thing that kept me glued to where I sat on the couch.

The silence made me want to scream. Scream and maybe beat Kairi over the head with the heaviest thing I could find for showing up and ruining such a perfect moment on a perfect day. Hell, I just wanted her to say something—_anything_—so she could get whatever it was she wanted to say out and get the fuck away from us.

"What did I do, Sora?" Kairi finally whispered, tears that were obviously fake layering her voice. "What did I do to make you want to leave me?"

"Oh, shut it, Kairi. You know you never cared about him."

She glared at me, her mouth formed into a harsh line. "This has nothing to do with you, Riku, so would you please keep your filthy mouth shut."

"Excuse me?" I shouted, moving to stand and do just what I had been planning in my mind moments before (beating her over the head with the heavy dictionary on the shelf behind her, I mean), but Sora's hand across my waist made me stop. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, frowning when I saw that he was staring absently at the floor. "Sora?"

"She's right," he whispered, refusing to look up. "This…this doesn't have anything to do with you."

I narrowed my eyes. "Bullshit it doesn't!"

He jumped and finally looked up at me, tears shining in his brilliant eyes. I sighed and cupped his face in my hands, wiping his tears away with my thumbs.

"I love you, Sora, and I won't sit back and let her try to put a guilt trip on you. Everything is _her_ fault, not yours. You have to remember that."

He blinked, a spark of something flickering behind his eyes. "But…"

"You should listen to Riku, Dear."

We both jumped and turned to see Sora's mom walking into the living room with her arms crossed over her chest. She aimed the most vicious frown I had ever seen in Kairi's direction before she plopped down into the loveseat between the couch Sora and I sat on and the armchair Kairi occupied. She winked at me and Sora happily.

"He's a smart boy. He knows what he's talking about."

Sora sniffed and wiped a hand across his face. I smiled when a small smile flitted across his face. His mom really was a miracle worker.

"Wh-what?!" Kairi shouted. "Miranda? You…you support this? _Them_?"

The brunette woman laughed and shrugged. "To tell the truth, I've been rooting for Riku this entire time. I knew that it was only a matter of time before he would do something to make Sora finally open his eyes and see that he was in love with the fool."

The way that Kairi opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water would have been comical if she hadn't have turned her harsh eyes onto me only seconds later.

"What the _hell_ did you do to him, Riku?!"

"He didn't do anything to me, Kairi! It was jus…"

I silenced Sora with a hand on his thigh, and then smiled sweetly at Kairi. "I did something a little like this."

Before Sora could argue, I had a hand under his chin and captured his lips in the most passionate kiss we had ever shared. Hands wandered, tongues fought desperately against one another for dominance. Our moans twined together in the air and formed the sweetest music I had ever heard.

When we pulled away, Sora was breathing hard and his face was a beautiful rosy red. I smiled softly and kissed the end of his nose before I looked back to Kairi.

"Just picture that with me naked in a bathtub full of warm water and bubbles with Sora in my lap and you'll have a pretty good idea of what happened. Well…Sora was dressed, of course. Not that it matters or anything."

The screech that echoed around the house seconds later was enough to reveal Kairi for the harpy she really was. She pushed herself out of the armchair and stalked her way across the small area that separated us. If she had been more clever, the hand she swung out would have managed to make contact with my face. As it was, I caught it halfway there, which only succeeded in making her screech again.

"How dare you!" she screamed, tearing her wrist out of my grip with a vicious snarl. "He was mine. How dare you take him away from me!"

I sighed. "Please don't talk about Sora as if he were a possession, Kairi. He's a human being and has the ability to make his own choices."

"He was _mine_!" she hissed.

"I was never yours, Kairi," Sora whispered suddenly, pulling both of our attention onto him. "I…I always loved Riku, but never thought that he could return my feelings so I tried to make myself forget by dating, and ultimately marrying, you." He laughed in a self-depreciating sort of way. "Guess it didn't work very well."

"Wh-what are you saying, Sora?" Kairi muttered. Pain was evident in her voice, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

Sora lifted his eyes from the wall to look at Kairi with an utmost look of pity on his face. "If I was ever anyone's, Kairi, I was Riku's. Never yours."

Now I couldn't help but smile a little bit at the look on Kairi's face. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she stumbled backwards and fell into the armchair. She dropped her head into her hands, and the sound of quiet tears barely reached my ears. Yet, as soon as she started to cry, she was done and she lifted her head to glare at Sora and I with eyes as hard as diamonds.

"No!" she growled low in her throat. "I refuse to believe that you never felt anything for me." She fell onto her knees from the chair and crawled across the floor until she was kneeling in front of Sora. "Sora, please. How can you say that after more than six years together? How can you say that you never loved me?"

I frowned and tightened the arm around Sora's shoulders protectively. "Leave him alone, Kairi."

"Stay out of this, Riku," Sora muttered darkly. I frowned and furrowed my brow, but did as I was told, if only to hear what he was going to say next. "It's not that I never loved you, Kairi, because I did. But…" He sighed. "I didn't _love _love you. You were my best friend and I guess because of that I thought that I might be able to love you like that one day, but it never happened. Whenever I thought that I _was_ falling for you, Riku kissed me and…" He shrugged, obviously not needing to state the rest.

"But…" Kairi grabbed onto Sora's knee, and I couldn't help but scoff when tears began to well up in her eyes. "But, I love _you_, Sora. I love you and only you. I won't be able to live without you."

Sora sighed and hung his head, clenching his eyes closed. "And I don't think that I'll be able to live without Riku."

"_Sora_!" Kairi cried. "Don't do this to me. _Please_."

Sora closed his eyes tighter, and I growled as Kairi moved to grab onto one of his hands. Before she could even get close to him, I grabbed her wrist in a commanding yet gentle grip and shoved her so she toppled backwards onto the floor.

"It's over, Kairi."

She shook her head and narrowed her eyes. "No! It's not over! Sora, please! It's not over, is it?"

A quiet gasp was the only warning I got before Sora buried his face in my chest and started to cry. I glared hatefully at Kairi as I cuddled him to my chest, cooing quietly in his ear. Kairi moved to touch him again, but froze when another voice filled the room.

"It _is_ over, Kairi."

I closed my eyes and sighed at the sound of that voice. As nice as it was to not have that tone of voice aimed at me, it was still aggravating that _she _had to show up. Damn Miranda. She probably called her before coming into the living room to let her know what was going on. Yet, as aggravating as it was, I always knew that having a crazy mother would come in handy one day.

"Stay out of it, Anita!" Kairi spat through gritted teeth. "This is none of your business as much as it's none of Riku's."

I kept my eyes glued to my mother as she wandered into the room and took a seat on the arm of the chair where Sora's mother had sat silently through most of the confrontation. The small smiles that shone on both of their faces were anything but innocent.

"I don't understand why you're still trying to fight for Sora when it's so obvious that he wants nothing to do with you anymore," my mother said quietly, that wicked smile shining on her face.

Miranda nodded and crossed her arms over her chest. "She's right, Kairi. Why don't you just give up and leave us in peace before you make yourself look like an even bigger idiot than you already do?"

Kairi growled low in her throat and narrowed her eyes dangerously. "Just wait until my parents hear about this!"

My mom laughed, throwing her head back a bit. "Your parents have nothing to do with this, Kairi. Hell, I'd be surprised if they hadn't been expecting all of this to happen in the first place. They always were better at seeing through things than you were."

Kairi's harpy screech filled the living room as she jumped to her feet. "Fuck you all. I hope you burn in hell!" she spat before she stomped out of the living room.

I held my breath until he heard the front door slammed closed, announcing her departure as the sound reverberated off the walls of the house. Two more heavy sighs echoed my own, and I turned to see our mothers looking at each other with self-satisfied smiles on their faces. The smile that flickered across my own face disappeared, however, when I looked down at the still crying mess of brown hair buried in my chest.

That bitch I had once considered to be a close friend had hurt Sora, had used him in the worst way possible and now that he knew that it was the truth, he was broken. Even though he said that he hadn't loved Kairi in the way that she wanted to be loved, he had cared deeply for her. It didn't help that he was the kind of person who was easily hurt.

Frowning deeply, I tightened my arms around Sora and buried my face in his hair, silently cursing Kairi. I swore that if I ever saw her again, I would make sure she regretted it.

TBC…  
**-----------------------------------------------------------------  
**A/N: Well…it's short…_::sighs::_…And I'm not quite sure if I'm satisfied with it or not, but at least it's something for now. I may end up going back and adding to it, but I dunno…

Once again I want to apologize to you all for taking so long to update. You guys are amazing and deserve better, but my mental state decided to collapse at the wrong time. I also want to apologize even more to those of you who I didn't get the chance to reply to. I read your reviews and appreciated them all, but I just didn't have the time to get back to everyone who reviewed… Thank you to everyone who _did_ review, and thank you for your patience while I slowly re-center myself…

Until next chapter, adieu…


	14. Aftereffects

This chapter is _long_ overdue. I know that, and I'm sorry. On top of that horrible dose of depression, there was my brother breaking my computer screen and then my short story for my creative writing class. Now that I _finally_ have some time, I'm gonna try to get something out for you to read…

Enjoy!…

WARNINGS: language and two fun yaoi make-out sessions (though if I have to warn for those this late in the story, then there's something wrong)…

**Disclaimer:** the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts _belong to Square Enix and Disney…

**Part Fourteen:  
Aftereffects …**

Sora cried himself to sleep in my arms shortly after Kairi left. I cradled his head against my chest and buried my face in his hair, inhaling the scent that was just purely him. I didn't know what else to do. I hated that he was in pain and that Kairi had had to come along and make him feel that way, but I didn't know what I could do to make it go away. Kairi had been one of his best friends since middle school. Was there really anything that I could do to take that pain away?

I must have fallen asleep sometime in my thinking because the next thing I knew I was being gently shaken. I opened bleary eyes to be met with my mother's sadly smiling face, and she reached out and brushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. I frowned and moved to tighten my arms around Sora, but found that he was gone. A pillow was locked in my grasp instead. Mom must have seen the worry in my eyes because she pulled away from me and nodded her head toward the stairs.

"Sora woke a while ago and went to his room." She sighed. "He said he needed to think."

I grumbled quietly and pushed myself up from the couch. "Why didn't he wake me up? He shouldn't be alone right now."

"He said he wanted to let you get some rest, and Anita and I knew that he needed some time alone so he could sort things out."

I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair, grumbling quietly to myself before turning to frown at my mother. "How long has he been up there?"

She shrugged, casting a quick glance at the clock. "I dunno. Twenty, maybe thirty minutes. Anita went to check on him about ten minutes ago but she wouldn't let him into his room."

"Great," I grumbled and pushed myself up from the couch. Normally I would have headed straight for the stairs, but now that I knew that Sora had locked his door, I made my way to the kitchen instead. I had learned a long time ago that a butter knife was all it took to break into Sora's room against his will, and (as horrible as it might sound) I was hoping that he was too distraught to have remembered that fact.

Ignoring the question that was forming on my mother's lips, I pushed my way past her and went up the stairs. My feet led me to Sora's room without me having to tell them to do so. I reached for his doorknob and wasn't surprised to find that it was locked. Sighing quietly, I rapped my knuckles lightly against the door.

"Sora, it's me. Can I come in?"

Quiet shuffling sounded from the other side of the door, followed by a loud outtake of breath. "Go away, Riku."

I sighed again. "Not until you let me in."

"You're gonna be out there for a while, then."

"Or so you think," I muttered under my breath, my fist tightening briefly around the knife in my hand.

With one fluid motion, I lifted my hand and stuck the tip of the knife into the lock on Sora's door. A flick of my wrist, and a small popped echoed through the hallway, signaling that the door was now open. I made sure to set the knife carefully on the table beside the door before I opened it, though.

The sight that met me when I pushed open the door was one I had grown quite familiar with over the years. Sora was curled up on his bed, his back to me so he could stare blankly out his window. He didn't even flinch when I walked in. He actually didn't show any reaction to my presence until I took a seat behind him on the bed, and that was only by heaving a heavy sigh.

I frowned and put a gentle hand on his shoulder, trying to offer him some sort of comfort. I could only imagine the thoughts that had been running through his head while he had been alone.

"I forgot that you knew how to break into my room."

Sora's quiet voice pulled my attention to him. When I saw that he was still staring out the window with a detached look in his eyes, my frown deepened.

"Sora…"

He laughed quietly, silencing whatever I was getting ready to say with the lack of emotion behind it.

"I'm an asshole," he whispered. "Why did I agree to marry her when I wasn't in love with her? Did I really think that I would be able to learn to love her after a few months, even when my love for you was so strong?" He laughed again. "I really am an idiot."

I sighed and settled down onto the bed beside him, wrapping a firm arm around his waist so he couldn't get away from me. "Yes, you are an idiot, but you're not an asshole. You're selfless. You were wiling to give up your happiness so you could make Kairi happy. She's the asshole for not being able to see that and get over it."

"Get over it?" He laughed and rolled onto his back. "I ran away the day of our wedding with little more than an apology, Riku. How the hell do you expect someone to just get over something like that?"

"She would have…in due time."

Sora snorted and closed his eyes, snuggling into my chest. "You would hate me if I hate me if I ever did anything like that to you. You would have never been able to get over it, and don't tell me that you would have."

"Nothing you do could ever make me hate you, Sora," I whispered, kissing his hair. "I love you with my heart and soul. I may get peeved or a little pissed, but I'll never be able to hate you."

"Yeah, right," he muttered dourly. "I know what you would feel."

Before Sora had time to react, I rolled over so I was hovering over him, my elbows on either side of his head and my legs straddling his waist. He gasped loudly and his eyes widened. The expression on his face was so cute and priceless that I couldn't help but smirk.

"You know what I feel?" I whispered dangerously, my smirk growing when he nodded and gulped. "Then tell me… What am I feeling right now?"

I moved an arm so I could cup his cheek tenderly in the palm of my hand, running my thumb back and forth across his soft skin. His chest heaved desperately and every breath brought him closer to me. Before he could get the chance to say anything, I dipped my face and caught his lips with my own in a desperate kiss.

Sora gasped loudly and I took the opportunity to stick my tongue into his mouth. I caressed his tongue gently with my own, moving my hands so I could bury them in the hair at either side of his head. His hands dipped beneath the hem of my shirt and his bitten off nails dug into my spine, making a moan slip from my throat.

We kissed passionately for another couple of minutes before we were forced to part for breath. Sora's breathing was even more rapid than it had been before and his face was a very appealing shade of red. I smiled tenderly and cupped his face in my hands, losing myself in the depths of his eyes.

"I love you, Sora McAlistar."

The blush on his face darkened, but he smiled and ran a hand back through my hair. "And I love you, Riku Nikols. I always have and always will."

I laughed and stuck my tongue out at him, laughing even harder when he attempted to nip at it.

"You think she'll be back?" Sora whispered.

I shrugged, irritation taking over at the mention of the bitch. "I dunno, but she'll make sure and stay away if she knows what's best for her. I'm not afraid to hit a girl if it's to protect someone as dear to me as you are."

He giggled and a hint of red returned to his face before it vanished. "I don't think I'll be able to take it if she does."

I laughed. "Even more reason for me to hit her."

"Riku!" Sora scoffed, thumping me playfully on the side of the head. "Promise me that you won't hit her, no matter what. Guys go to jail for that kind of stuff."

"Awww…" I sighed dramatically. "Okay, fine, but only because I'd rather not spend time in jail." I kissed him playfully on the end of the nose. "I think it'd kill me if I had to spend one night away from you now that I've got you all to myself."

He snorted and was about to say something in response when the doorbell echoed throughout the house.

"I'll get it!" his mother's voice called from downstairs, followed by the quiet opening of the door and a loud laugh. "Sora! It's Roxas and Axel!"

I groaned and collapsed on top of my little brunet, wrapping my arms tight around him when he started to struggle.

"Ri_ku_! Lemme go!"

"Uh-uh." I shook my head and tightened my hold. "I'm not gonna give up alone time with you just so we can be questioned by Axel and Roxas."

Sora sighed heavily and resigned himself to wrapping his arms around my neck. I echoed his sigh (only in a much less annoyed manner) and nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck. The scent of the ocean filled my nose and left me drowning. It was amazing that even after spending so many years away from the Islands, he had still managed to retain the smell.

I pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Sora's neck, smiling when his breath hitched in his throat and his arms tightened briefly around my neck. I tested my limits by nipping playfully at the flesh, following the bite with a kiss to ease the pain.

"Ri...ku," Sora sighed with a breathy moan.

I smirked to myself and kissed a line from his neck to the corner of his mouth. Sora whined quietly when I pulled away, but I quieted him by attacking his lips. He moaned deeply within his throat and tightened his arms around my neck, wrapping his legs around my waist as he did. I groaned when our groins met in the middle and had to resist the urge to go even further. There were too many people in the house for that, so instead I deepened the kiss by running my tongue along his bottom lip, plunging in when he parted his lips.

"I wish we were at your house," Sora gasped when I pulled away to nip at his neck.

I chuckled and pressed a kiss against his pulse, groaning when his hands slipped beneath the hem of my T-shirt. "We'd scar my father for life."

He laughed. "Oh, he'd leave if we got too loud." A moan filled the room. "Your mother is a different story."

"She'd sneak in and take pictures."

As if on cue, the sound of a camera shot filled the room and pulled us out of the moment. I turned my head and saw Axel standing in the doorway with his camera phone in hand, Roxas behind him with a smirk. I groaned and buried my face in Sora's neck.

"I should have known," I whispered.

He snorted and I rolled to the side just as Axel ran into the room and dove onto the bed. The redhead laughed loudly and playfully tousled my hair.

"Silly horny boys."

Roxas snorted and plopped onto the floor beside the bed. "We just wanted to see how things were going. Sora's mom called and told me that Kairi was here and asked for us to come over for damage control." He rolled his eyes. "That woman is such a drama queen."

Sora laughed and nodded, but didn't say anymore. I frowned and pushed myself up so I could sit against the headboard, coaxing Sora to lay his head in my lap and tangling my fingers in his hair.

"Well, she pretty much yelled and groveled…," I sighed. "And blamed me for everything. Stupid bitch. Ow! Hey!" I glared at Sora and rubbed the spot on my leg that he had pinched gingerly. "I was just sayin'. Geez."

"She's not a bitch. She's just…emotional."

Roxas snorted. "Yeah, so that's what you call it nowadays."

"Well, how would you feel if the person you were in love with and engaged to be married with you suddenly ran off without a word on the day of your wedding so he could be with the person _he_ loves? I don't think that you would be acting to rational either."

The blonde shrugged. "That's why I'm gay. Guys just get over that kind of stuff."

Axel kneed Roxas playfully in the back of the head, sticking his tongue out at the blonde when he turned and glared at him. "You know, I would probably go on a freaking rampage if you left me so you could be with some other dude. I mean, seriously. At least give a guy some closure."

I laughed quietly and Roxas rolled his eyes, earning another playful knee to the head from Axel. Sora continued lying in an unresponsive heap in my lap. It worried me, of course, but I tried my hardest not to show it. Roxas and Axel would only ask more questions than need be if they knew just how badly the confrontation with Kairi was affecting Sora. So, instead of opening my mouth and asking stupid questions, I continued running my hand through Sora's hair in long, comforting strokes.

"So…what now?" Axel muttered after a few minutes of silence. "I mean, are you all gonna go back or stay here? What's Kairi gonna do?"

"She'll go back to Hallow Bastion if she knows what's good for her," I said under my breath.

Axel laughed. "Geez. Remind me to never do anything to hurt your feelings or else I might get killed."

"No, it's more like you do anything to hurt Sora and I'll kill you," I corrected. "Not that I wouldn't put some hurt on if you hurt me, but Sora's the most important person in my life and I'll do anything to keep him safe and happy."

I sighed quietly when my declaration finally got a reaction out of Sora. He mumbled something incoherent under his breath as he shoved himself upright, moving so his legs were draped over my lap and his arms were around my torso, his head resting comfortably on my shoulder. I smiled tenderly and kissed the top of his head softly.

"I love you."

He sighed and moved so he could press a kiss to the side of my neck. "Yeah, me too."

"Aw, how sweet," Axel cooed and poked Roxas on the back of the head. "How come you can't be so docile, Roxy?"

The blonde turned and glared at his boyfriend. "Because I know you'll take advantage of it."

Axel pouted, but was easily ignored by Roxas. The blonde sighed heavily and pushed himself up from the floor, stretching his arms toward the ceiling.

"Why don't we all go out and get something to eat? Get outta this house for a bit. I'm sure the two of you could use some peace."

I nodded and squeezed Sora gently in my arms. "That sounds good. What do you think, So?"

He shrugged. "Food sounds good. I'm hungry."

Roxas smiled and held an arm out toward the door. "Well, let's go. I'm driving."

"And I'm paying!" Axel said with a laugh and skipped out of the room.

Roxas laughed quietly and followed after his boyfriend, calling, "We'll wait for you guys downstairs," as he walked out the door.

I smiled and rubbed Sora's arm softly. "You ready to go?"

He sighed and snuggled deeper into my arms. "Not really, but I guess we can't make them wait for us forever, huh?"

"No, they might get suspicious and come back up here and the gods know we don't want that to happen."

Sora laughed and shook his head. He stayed still in my arms for a few more seconds before untangling his limbs from my own and standing beside the bed. I took the hand he offered to me and stood, keeping a grip on the hand so I could pull him close to me and wrap an arm around his waist.

"I won't let her hurt you anymore," I whispered, my face so close to Sora's our noses touched.

He smiled sadly. "I know you won't."

I closed the distance between us by pressing my lips against his in a tender kiss before I pulled away. I kept our hands tangled together as I led the way out of the bedroom and downstairs, unsurprised to find that Axel was mixed up in an animated conversation with our mothers. Roxas was standing off to the side with a distant look on his face. As soon as we walked into the living room, though, the look was gone and a smile had taken its place on his face.

"You guys ready?"

I nodded and wrapped an arm around Sora's waist. "Yeah, let's get outta here for a bit."

Roxas smiled and tugged gently on the hem of Axel's T-shirt. "Come on, Ax. Let's go eat."

The redhead nodded and (to my surprise) politely excused himself from the conversation between our mothers so he could join us in the foyer of Sora's home.

"Tabemono!!" Axel shouted as we walked out to Roxas' car. "Must…have…tabemono!"

I snorted and rolled my eyes, holding the door open so Sora could climb into the backseat before following him in. When I settled down and managed to get my seatbelt buckled, Sora curled up against my side and buckled himself in to the middle seat. I couldn't help but smile and wrap an arm around his shoulders. I knew that he was upset and I was willing to do whatever I could to make him feel better. It would have been easier to do it if we had some privacy, but I hoped that an arm around his shoulders in the back seat of a bar would be enough for the moment. We would have privacy later on that night.

As Roxas started his car and backed out of the driveway, I couldn't help but sigh for what had to have been the millionth time that night. I only prayed that Kairi would be able to get over whatever problems she had and move on without causing Sora or myself any more pain than she already had because I had the feeling that, if anything else happened, I wasn't going to be able to fix Sora with just my love alone.

TBC…  
**-----------------------------------------------------  
**A/N: _::sighs::_…And there we have it. I really hope you all enjoyed it. There was a lot more that I wanted to write, but if I kept going then I wouldn't have had anything to write for the last chapter. Better to stop than waste my ideas and take another gazillion months to come out with a new chapter, I guess…

Anyway…I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter and everyone for hanging in with me through my tough times. You guys are amazing and I love you. Seriously…

OH!! And **tabemono **means food in Japanese. LoL. Whenever my friend and I are hungry we usually groan "Tabemono" and lurch toward the fridge or something. Hehe. Yeah…we're strange…

Once again, I'm sorry that it took so long to get this out. And I'm sorry if there are any typos. I was too excited to get this up that I probly did a pretty shitty editing job..._::sweat drops::_...Also, next week is my Thanksgiving break. I only have school on Monday so I'm hoping to concentrate on the next chapter of "Understanding" while during that time. Wish me luck!!...

Welps…I guess that's it, so…until next chapter (the last chapter…_::cries::_…), adieu…


	15. Closure

I'm sorry that it took me so long to finally get this out. My life has been too crazy for me to even keep track of everything that's been going on lately. I had a snow day at work today so I finally had a chance to juts sit down and write. It's been nice…

_::cries::_…I can't believe that this is the last chapter!!! WAHHH!! I have to say that getting this thing done will take a lot off my chest, though...

Enjoy!!...

WARNINGS: a lime-ish scene, lotsa tears, language, things you all will probably hate me for by the end of the chapter, but oh well…_::shrugs::_…

**Disclaimer:** the characters and worlds of _Kingdom Hearts_ belong to Square Enix and Disney…

**Chapter Fifteen:  
Closure…**

A few days passed by with nothing but relative calm. Sora and I took turns trading nights at the other's house, just so our parents wouldn't feel left out. During the day, we spent most of our time fooling around at Roxas' house with everyone there. We watched movies, played cards, swam in the cool ocean. Life was, if I dared to say it, beginning to feel like normal. It was easy for me to picture us making our life back on the Islands once we wrapped everything up back in Radiant Garden.

It was unfortunate that the peace couldn't have lasted longer than it did, but I guess I should have known better. Between my mother craziness and Sora's habit of worrying too much, things were bound to get crazy a bit.

**""**

"I need to go talk to her."

I groaned for what felt like the millionth time during the course of the day and slouched back on the bed, propping myself up on my elbows so I continue to watch Sora pace back and forth across his bedroom.

"You don't _need_ to talk to her."

"Yes, I do! I just left her without an explanation and she comes here and finds us kissing. I owe her something."

"You don't owe her anything."

"Would you stop arguing with me?"

"Would you stop being such an idiot?"

He glared at me and I held his gaze with as much intensity as I could muster. I wasn't going to let him win this. There was no way in hell that I was going to let him wander off and talk with Kairi without putting up a fight first. She had already put him through enough pain. He didn't need anymore.

A heavy sigh pulled my attention back to my boyfriend and I frowned, reaching forward to grab his wrist and pull him down onto the bed with me. He rolled his eyes and let himself be pulled, sighing again when he collapsed onto the mattress.

"Am I really being an idiot?"

I snorted and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his hair. "Do you really want me to answer that question?"

Sora groaned and moved so he was lying on his back. I made up for the movement by shifting around and resting my head on his shoulder.

"You shouldn't worry so much. It's going to drive you crazy one day."

"I'm already crazy."

I snorted and pressed a gentle kiss to his shoulder. "Yes, but it's what I love the most about you."

He shoved at my shoulder so that I rolled off him. "You love me because I'm insane?"

I shrugged and propped myself up on my elbows so I could look at him. "Everyone has their quirks."

"You're special."

I laughed and pounced on top of my boyfriend. He yelped loudly in surprise, but was soon quieted by my mouth over his. He moaned loudly and wrapped his arms around my neck so he could deepen the kiss and keep me from pulling away, not that I would. Our breath and tongues mingled in a vicious battle that I won out. Sora admitted defeat easily and let me do whatever I wanted.

My fingers danced lightly down Sora's sides and beneath the hem of his T-shirt so I could feel his skin. A wonderful shiver rippled through his body when my cold fingers met his heated flesh, and he gasped into my mouth.

"Nn…Ri-ku…," he groaned when I pulled away from his mouth so we could breathe. He groaned again when I began to nip and suck at the tender flesh of his neck.

"If you're trying to distract me, you're doing a good job," he managed to mutter through moans, his hands fisting my hair tightly.

I chuckled and let my mouth wander back up to his mouth. "Now, why would I do that?"

He shrugged and smirked…way too lustfully than he should have. The look on his face sent a rush of need surging to my groin. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you don't want me to go talk to Kairi."

"I could care less about that right now," I growled and snatched his lips back with my own.

Thirty minutes later, I carefully pulled myself out of Sora's arms and quickly pulled on my clothes. There was somewhere I need to go.

Before I left the room, I made sure to give Sora a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I'm gonna fix things. I promise." With one last glance back at his sleeping face, I left the room and closed the door behind me.

I hated going behind his back, but there was no other way. If he knew where I was headed, he would try to stop me or beg to come along, and I couldn't let him do either. I had to do this on my own so I could have a small piece of mind and try to make things better. I had to do this for _him_. I could only hope that no one would be harmed in the process.

**""**

It was strange thinking about the last time I had been to this house on good terms. It must have been at least six years prior, for Kairi's sixteenth birthday party. I hadn't wanted to be there at all because of my depression, but Sora had managed to drag me out of my bedroom and into the sunlight. Honestly, it had been fun.

The house still looked the same as it had back then. The wrap-around front porch was still white and the flower beds were still as prim as ever. Only the pale blue siding had a few more chips in it than it had before. Even so, seeing the house didn't send me back to happier times. It only made me angrier. Who was she to treat Sora so badly?

Setting my mouth into a solemn frown, I shoved my hands into my pockets and made my way up the porch. I recognized the powder blue Prius in the driveway as Kairi's and knew that she was home unless she had decided to take a walk somewhere.

The door opened as I stepped up onto the porch and I was met with the smiling face of Kairi's mother.

"Ah, Riku. Nice to see you."

I put on my best smile and nodded. "Yeah, you too." And it was true. Kairi was a bitch, but I didn't have anything against her parents.

"If you're here to see Kairi, she's up in her bedroom." She smiled. "I would call her down to greet you, but I don't foresee that going over very well."

No wonder I had always liked this woman.

"Thanks," I said and made my way upstairs. "I promise to drop by and catch up later, okay?"

"Of course, Darling." When I looked back, she was gone. I assumed that she had moved into the kitchen.

Kairi's room was still in the same place as I remembered—last door on the right at the end of the hall. Through the partially opened door, I could see that the walls were still painted lavender, as well. Such a light purple had always been Kairi's color, and she knew it.

I tested my limits by pushing the door open when I heard the quiet sounds of music. She was lying on her back on her bed with her eyes closed and the buds for her iPod shoved into her ears. I could clearly hear the sounds of Fergie blaring from the earbuds.

I tried to close the door quietly behind me, but she heard it anyway.

"I'll be down in a minute," she muttered and pulled the buds from her ears.

I guess she wasn't expecting me to be the one standing there because her eyes widened slightly before narrowing into a glare.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she growled.

I took a second to make sure the door was completely closed before answering. "I have something I need to talk to you about."

"And what makes you think that I want to hear what you have to say?"

"If you ever cared for Sora, you'll listen to every word."

She narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth as if to argue more, but closed it soon after. Her shoulders slumped and her body seemed to collapse upon itself. For the first time in years, she looked like a real person to me and it was strange to see. I'd been starting to believe that she was emotionless.

"Is he okay?" she whispered.

Surprisingly, I found myself wanting to sugarcoat the truth and make everything seem a bit better than it actually was. I knew that I couldn't, though. She deserved whatever I had to throw at her, and from the way she was acting, I think she knew it.

"What you did tore him apart. He's been a shell of the person he was, only because he knows what kind of person you truly are. You enjoy hurting people, including me. You should have known better than to think that th would want to marry such a sadist."

"I'm not—"

"Then what are you, Kairi? You were one of my best friends—my sister for godssakes—and look what you did to me. I trusted you, gods dammit! Do you know how much that hurt?"

She shook her head and put a hand over her mouth, eyes wide and full of tears. "I-I'm sorry, Riku. I was stupid…so stupid."

"Four years too late."

"Better late than never, right?"

I frowned and glared at her harshly. She flinched under my gaze, and I sighed. I couldn't help it. As hard as it may be to believe, I didn't take any sort of pride or fun out of hurting her. It hurt me to hurt her, but I knew that she deserved it after what she had put me through. My grudge was the only thing that kept me from opening the door back into my life for her without a fight.

"Kairi, what you did to me was horrible. And when you proceeded to lie about knowing that I was headed over, I felt like I had been betrayed more than I had when I saw…what the two of you were doing. I trusted you and embraced you in my life. You were my sister. But you hurt me." I sighed and ran a hand back through my hair. "And I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you for it."

"Riku, I—"

I shook my head. "Save it, Kairi. Besides, I'm not here for myself right now. I'm here for Sora."

"I didn't mean to hurt him," she said through tears.

"But you did."

She sobbed loudly and put a hand to her mouth to hold back any more than wanted to sneak through. "He hates me now, doesn't he? He probably never wants to see me again."

I shook my head and couldn't help but chuckle quietly. "Quite the contrary. You know that Sora could never hate anyone." I sighed and sank down to my knees in front of Kairi so she had to look me in the face. "Listen, you may have lost my trust, maybe even my friendship, but don't lose Sora's. He's everyone's light. Think of how dark your life would get if you didn't try to fix things."

She nodded, but kept her mouth closed. I guessed it was in fear of letting anymore sobs slip past her lips. I stayed on the floor in front of her for a couple of minutes before pushing myself up and heading towards the door.

"We're all going to be at Roxas' tonight for dinner," I muttered over my shoulder. "You should come."

"But…"

"I'll make sure to let everyone know that you're coming, except Sora of course." I laughed quietly. "Wouldn't want everyone tearing you to pieces, right?"

She nodded slightly and let a small, tearful smile spread across her face. "Riku," she called as I was headed out the door. I turned to her with a raised eyebrow, and her smile only widened. "Thank you…for giving me another chance."

"Meh…." I shrugged and left the room behind me.

Now all I had to do was call Roxas and let him know that we were going to be over for dinner. Or maybe I should call Naminé. Roxas would probably huff and puff, but I knew that Naminé would agree immediately. She had been calling and begging us to go over and eat for the past couple of nights. Better do it before she went psycho and dragged us over.

I couldn't help but wonder, though, if I had made a good choice. Things could go two ways tonight. Good or very, _very_ bad. I was hoping for the former, but knowing my luck, it was hard to tell.

**""**

"I can't believe you invited that bitch over for dinner without telling me first!"

Axel sighed and pulled his boyfriend down into his lap and put a hand in front of his mouth, never once flinching at the arms that flailed wilding in the air around him. Roxas kicked and punched and slapped. I could barely hold in my chuckle when Axel's hand flew away from the blonde's mouth, a look of incredulousness shining in his green eyes.

"You bit me!" Roxas made a small noise and the redhead burst into laughter. "And did you just growl at me, too?"

"What did you expect me to do, Roxas?" I asked before he could cause anymore bodily harm to his lover. "This could be the only chance I have to try and fix things between her and Sora. I mean, you saw him when we got here. He wandered straight up to your spare bedroom and closed the door behind him so he could go back to sleep."

Roxas shrugged, finally having stopped his struggling. "So? He was tired."

"He's depressed!"

"I know that. I was being sarcastic."

"Gentleman, gentleman," Naminé cut in before sparks could fly between the two of us, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder to make me keep my mouth closed. "Roxas, I think that Riku is right. I think that it will be better for Sora to see that we're all willing to give Kairi a chance. I know that he'll forgive her regardless, but if he sees that we're trying to forgive her too, I think it will make him happy."

"So you're expecting me to lie to my cousin?"

Naminé shook her head. "No. You wouldn't be lying. You're giving her a chance to redeem herself, remember?"

The blonde scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I don't need to hear anything she has to say. I'll never be able to forget what she did."

I couldn't keep the snort from slipping out. "If anyone will never be able to forget what she's done or forgive her for it, it's me, Roxas. But look, I'm willing to give her a chance because I know that Sora cares about her. If you care about your cousin, you'll give her a chance."

He opened his mouth to complain, but Axel silenced him by placing a finger over his lips.

"They're not asking you to forgive her, Rox," the redhead muttered. "They're asking you to act like a decent human being for the night. Is that too hard to ask?"

"Yes." I opened my mouth to argue, but Roxas beat me to it. "But I guess it won't hurt to be…decent…for a night."

I sighed. I couldn't help it. Roxas may have sounded like acting decent was the worst possible thing in the world, but at least I had his word that he would do it. Besides, I knew that Naminé and Axel would help me keep him in line throughout the rest of the night.

A timer beeping in the kitchen was Naminé's signal to run and check on something or other that she was making. It wasn't two seconds later when the doorbell echoed off the walls of the house.

Roxas sighed. "That has to be her. No one else rings that damned thing."

He moved to stand and answer the door, but Axel pulled him back down. "Why don't we let Riku handle this, huh? Your patience is already thin enough. Don't want you blowing up on her because she wore the wrong shoes or something."

Roxas glared at Axel, but didn't attempt to struggle out of his arms. I sighed and pushed myself up from the couch, making my way towards the door. Kairi was standing in the center of the screen door, her eyes glued to a piece of the screen that had been fixed with a piece of string.

"You came," I muttered, startling her out of her thoughts.

She laughed nervously and nodded. "Yeah."

The smile that crossed my face surprised even me. My surprise must have shown because Kairi chuckled quietly, her hands tugging at the hem of her mid-thigh length skirt.

"You gonna let me in?"

I blinked and shook myself out of my stupor, smiling sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry."

I pulled open the screen door and let Kairi in, after advising her to kick her flip flops off at the door, of course. Roxas hated whenever anyone wore their shoes in his house. Knowing him, he would throw a fit that was ten times worse than usual just because it was Kairi who had worn shoes into his house.

Naminé turned away from the stove with a smile on her face, licking a bit of whatever was in the steaming pot away from her pinky as she did. She waved politely, but I didn't expect anything else coming from her.

"Kairi, this is Naminé. Naminé, Kairi."

Naminé bowed her head. "It's nice to finally meet you, Kairi. I've heard so much about you."

"It's nice to meet you too," Kairi said with a nervous laugh. "I can only guess what this lot said about me."

Naminé laughed, but said nothing else. It was heaven. Of course Kairi would be afraid that we would talk shit about her, but she didn't need to hear it from Naminé.

I grabbed Kairi's elbow gently and turned her in the direction of the living room. Roxas was still in Axel's lap, and the redhead still had his arms wrapped tightly around the blonde's waist. Better safe than sorry, I guess.

"H-Hey, Roxas. It's been a long time."

I closed my eyes and bit my lip, praying to God to please—_please_—help Roxas mind his mouth. The last thing we needed tonight was for him to ruin everything.

"Yeah, it has."

"Thank God…," I whispered under my breath, smiling when Kairi glanced at me in question. As a distraction, I pointed to the smiling redhead beneath Roxas. "Kairi, the idiot under Roxas is Axel, Roxas' boyfriend. Axel, this is Kairi."

"The pleasure is all mine," Axel said with a smirk. "But please don't listen to what this bastard says about me. He's as dumb as the rest of us, I promise."

Kairi chuckled. "Oh, I know."

I could have glared, but I didn't. One point for me. "There are two others that live here as well, but they're out of town."

"Thank God!" Roxas muttered. "I wouldn't know what to do if I had to deal with Demyx's hyperness thrown on top of Axel's tonight. I'd probably kill someone."

Of course we all knew who that person would most likely be, but no one had to say it out loud.

"Sora's upstairs sleeping. Lemme go wake him up and then we can chat and all that good stuff," I said, anxious to get out of the tense atmosphere that was quickly developing in the living room. I was up the stairs before anyone could complain.

Thankfully Sora had left the door to the guest room unlocked so I didn't have to make too much noise. I smiled upon his sleeping face once I sat down on the edge of the bed, placing a kiss between his eyes. He sputtered a few incoherent things under his breath and then blinked open his eyes.

"Someone's here to see you."

He yawned and stretched himself across the bed. "Who?"

I shrugged. "Can't say. You'll have to come downstairs."

"Aww." He pouted, but I actually stood against it for the first time in my life.

I leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips. "Come on." I held a hand out to help him get out of bed and led the way downstairs.

"It's alive!" Axel cried dramatically.

Sora frowned and flipped him off. I laughed and patted my brunet on the bottom playfully. Damn I was proud. He was a quick learner.

Sora yawned again and rubbed sleepily at his eyes. When he opened them again, I swear I felt my own heart stop along with his as his eyes landed on Kairi. She had her eyes glued to a spot on the floor and her hands were toying nervously with the hem of her skirt again.

"K-Kairi?"

The girl's shoulder tensed and she glanced up from beneath her bangs. Sora looked back and forth between me and her for what felt like an eternity before he punched me on the arm.

"You bastard! Why didn't you tell me that Kairi was coming?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise. Geez." I rubbed my arm tenderly. "You didn't have to hit me so hard."

Sora glared at me harshly. "You went to talk to her while I slept didn't you? I woke up once and you were gone. Is that where you went?" He didn't give me time to respond before he hit me again. "Why didn't you let me come with you?!"

"Ow, dammit!" I took a couple of steps backwards so I was out of his hitting range. "I wanted to have a chance to talk to her. There's a lot that Kairi and I need to talk about. You wouldn't have let me get a word in if you had been there. Hell, you probably wouldn't have even let me see her 'cause you would be so afraid that I would shout or something."

"I'm glad he came to talk to me, Sora." We both blinked and turned our attention onto Kairi, who was finally looking at us with a bit of confidence in her face. "The fact that he actually came on his own without being persuaded showed a lot of courage. You should be proud of him, not angry."

"Wh-what? Kairi?"

The girl smiled. "I was an idiot and I'm sorry. I can't believe I got so jealous that I ruined so many good friendships. Roxas. Riku. And you, Sora. You all were such good friends to me and all I did to show my thanks was act like a completely selfish bitch." She sighed. "I'm just glad that Riku and Roxas are willing to give me another chance, even though I don't deserve it. I wouldn't have given myself a second chance. It just goes to show you that they're bigger people than I am…than I'll probably ever be."

"Oh, Kai." Sora sniffed and went to the girl quickly, embracing her gently. "Thank you."

"No, thank you." She smiled. "I knew all along that your heart really belonged to Riku, but I was too selfish to let go of you. I stole you away from Riku when the darkness was ready to swallow him whole. I stole away his light. Thankfully, he's selfless enough to give me the chance to try again. It just goes to prove that you and Riku belong together and that maybe, one day, you can forgive me and we'll have our friendship to keep us together."

"You never lost my friendship," Sora muttered. "I was just confused and…hurt, but I understand why you did it now."

Kairi smiled sadly and returned the hug that Sora offered her. "Thank you, Sora."

"Alright. The angst in this room is about to suffocate me," Axel groaned. "Naminé. Is dinner almost done?"

"It would have been done a lot sooner if _someone_ had offered to lend a hand," she grumbled from her place over the pot on the stove.

Kairi laughed and pushed herself up from the couch. "I'll help her. You boys have your bonding time."

I almost wanted to disagree, but knew that it was something she needed to do. I was sure that Naminé wouldn't mind an extra hand after hearing the irritation in her voice, and Kairi needed a good girl friend. She hadn't had one since Selphie moved away from the Islands when we were younger. Naminé would be good for her, I knew it.

Axel, Roxas, Sora, and I sat around in the living room and talked back and forth, sometimes arguing but mostly just fucking with one another. When Naminé interrupted our fun and said that dinner was ready, we raced into the dining room to see what the blonde had cooked up this time.

"Fettuccini! My favorite!" Axel shouted and jumped on the spoon.

"Sit down," Roxas muttered and jabbed the redhead in the arm with his fork.

Next thing we knew, water was flying everywhere and everyone was stuck in the middle of a water fight. Not food. None of us felt like cleaning up food later. Instead, we threw our glasses of water at one another. Roxas dumped the fresh pitcher on top of Roxas' head. Naminé beat us all to the kitchen and got her hands on the sprayer from the sink.

Once we—and most of the house—were thoroughly soaked, the fight moved outside. We pushed and shoved and threw sand at one another, jumped on backs and tackled each other to the ground. Somehow we ended up in the ocean and the water fighting continued.

It was the most fun we'd all had together. We all forgot about everything Kairi had done in the past. She was just another one of us. A friend.

I came to the conclusion that I would forgive her while we battled back and forth on the beach. The sound of her laughter and the sparkle in her eyes was something I hadn't seen in a long time. She wasn't the Kairi I had known for the past six years of my life. She was the Kairi that Sora and I had met in sixth grade, the sweet innocent girl who had become like my sister.

Darkness fell and we still didn't go inside. The fighting turned into crab hunting, which turned into drunken crab hunting after each of us drank a few of the beers and such in the refrigerator on the boardwalk.

Naminé laughed and screamed so hard when Axel dumped a bucket of crabs by her feet that she peed on herself. Axel scared the shit out of all of us when he jumped over the edge of the boardwalk and onto the sand eight feet below (we could have sworn that he'd died when he took forever to come back up onto the deck). Roxas lost a few of his inhibitions and let Kairi in a little bit. Kairi stripped down into her underwear and ran into the freezing cold water, screaming bloody murder when a wave crashed into her. Sora forced crabs to fight with one another and got pissed whenever they tried to fight with him instead…

And I just sat back and watched it all happen.

We were home. We were back together. Sora, Kairi, and I. And now Roxas, Axel, and Naminé. We were a family and would always be there for each other, I knew that we would.

The next day, the six of us woke up on the beach. Because we had fallen asleep soaking wet, the sand stuck to our bodies like glue. A quick jump into the water quickly fixed that, and woke us all up pretty quick. The water couldn't have been more than fifty degrees.

It was obvious with the morning that the night had proved to healing for us all. Roxas didn't grit his teeth or bite his tongue whenever he spoke with Kairi. She cried when I told her that all was forgiven. She said "sorry" so much that I had to threaten her with revoking my forgiveness if she said it one more time. The light was shining in Sora's eyes and smile once more. Axel and Naminé were still the same, but it was nice to know that they had willingly let Kairi into their lives without a fight.

Naminé's fettuccini never did get eaten, but I digress. It seemed that closure had finally been met at least. And man, did it feel good.

-OWARI-

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**A/N: _::cries::_ It's done…I think… I really don't know. I'm very happy with this as an ending spot, but I feel that I could write an epilogue if I had to. And was that a happy ending?! _::gasps::_ Why, yes. Yes, it was. Heheh. I felt like this story was one that did deserve a happy ending if none of my others do (not saying that none of my others will have happy endings, though)…

So, anyway…whether there will be an epilogue or not for this is up to you guys. If you want one, lemme know in a review or something. I'll be happy to write one, but I'm not going to promise that I will write one or that it will be out soon. Since this is _finally_ done (at least to me), "Understanding" is going to be taking the extreme priority over everything. I feel like I've put it off into the background for long enough…

Please, please, _please_… Don't send me any nasty reviews about how you think that Kairi is a bitch who didn't deserve to be forgiven…that Riku needed to plan something so she would walk in on him and Sora in the middle of sex…or something like that… I feel that Riku giving Kairi a chance made him the bigger person here. He could have just shoved her away and been a complete asshole (and we all know that he wanted to), but he put his feelings for Sora in front of himself…and look where it got them. He forgave Kairi for what happened. Kairi did go through a lot throughout the story, though. I mean, Sora left her just when they were about to get married. That would leave a mark, no matter how bitchy or cold a person is. Karma gave her what she deserved for being so unkind to Riku and she knew it. I hope you all are big enough people to realize that…(I know that most of you are, but I just felt that this was something I needed to say)…

Anyway…I want to thank everyone for hanging in there with me. Through thick and thin, you guys kick my ass! This baby's finally done and I really hope that you liked it. I think this chapter is my favorite out of all of them, though. I just really enjoyed the mood throughout the entire thing. Even though the middle has its angst, I think that this chapter is really light and fun. It makes a good ending… And seventy pages is the shortest I've ever written for a multi-chapter story… Woot for me!…Hehe…

Anyone who knows where the "powder blue Prius" reference came from gets a cookie…Heheh…Here's a hint…Walter made fun of it…well, and Peanut too…

And now I shall say adieu to all of you out there reading "Solitude" one last time (or is it??). You're all amazing and you have no idea how much your support and understanding over the past ten months has meant to me. I love ya, guys…

Adieu…

Kolie  
Page 70  
2.21.2008  
6:10 PM


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